Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

[Earthling]

No more foolin' around; I'll go for the big shot and then do this the hard way.

I intercept and hijack choxorn's magic; rather than summoning Spartans from the past, the time portal goes the other way, transporting me to Southern California in early November 1982.

 

[Omega124]

Well, you know the saying "Too Many Chiefs, not enough Indians"? Well, I have 12 Indians but no Chiefs.

Therefore, I summon the three greatest generals of all time, Eisenhower, Napoleon I, and Alexander the Great, from the dead, not as zombies, to personally lead my troops. If they lend elite troops from their time periods to go into the squad, it's even better.

 

[choxorn]

No more foolin' around; I'll go for the big shot and then do this the hard way.

I intercept and hijack choxorn's magic; rather than summoning Spartans from the past, the time portal goes the other way, transporting me to Southern California in early November 1982.

I'm summoning Spartans from the Future, not the Past.

 

[tuxedohamm]

The angels and I give hits of acid to all the various groups of people in the area to allow them all to get closer to heaven, or make a lot of people have some great trips.

 

[kill fire]

The angels and I give hits of acid to all the various groups of people in the area to allow them all to get closer to heaven, or make a lot of people have some great trips.

I really hope you are successful on this one.

 

[Earthling]

I'm summoning Spartans from the Future, not the Past.

The key point being...you're not really going to be summoning Spartans from anywhere. Though I hope you think you're successful, because, well, that needs to happen first.

Edit: Plus, I've got a nifty circumstance bonus all lined up...all unexpected but I'm grateful for it.

 

[Abaddon]

While continuing to work for the circus, gamble $20 on a boxing match

 

[mythmonster2]

I drink a bystander's blood to regain health.

 

[civplayah]

I grow a second pair of arms. This will work.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

Seeing how the Red Bull worked, I try giving it to my horse, hoping he would turn into Pegasus.

15 (16): "Some fuel for me mule; some gas for me-- whoops, wrong species."
It's not quite Pegasus, but can he ever bound now!

I order the Brownie fairies to to throw their grenades to flush out the Pixies from their cover and shoot them with the Justice Chaingun

15: You take out another two. The others dive for better cover.
The police, however, are not amused, and draw their guns. They order all parties to stand down.

I use my new found Super Saiyan powers to blast the hell out of anything that moves.

19: KILL FIRE SMASH!!
Everyone (excluding you) takes 12 damage.

I search for some medical supplies to heal myself with.

14: You find a couple of medipacks; one heals you back to full health, the other remains in your inventory and is a free action to use.

I yell at the phone, then hang up and dial the Spartans' number again.

14: Third's a charm; ETA 6 turns.

I intercept and hijack choxorn's magic; rather than summoning Spartans from the past, the time portal goes the other way, transporting me to Southern California in early November 1982.

16: You arrive in Southern California, 1982.

I summon the three greatest generals of all time, Eisenhower, Napoleon I, and Alexander the Great, from the dead, not as zombies, to personally lead my troops. If they lend elite troops from their time periods to go into the squad, it's even better.

5: You summon Sir Sam Hughes and First Baron Raglan.

The angels and I give hits of acid to all the various groups of people in the area to allow them all to get closer to heaven, or make a lot of people have some great trips.

19: "Hey Jim."
"DUDE, YOUR FACE IS A CLOCK!!!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!"
The occasional religious experience boosts the combat prowess of your angels.

While continuing to work for the circus, gamble $20 on a boxing match

12: You win double your bet.

I drink a bystander's blood to regain health.

11: "Dude, bug off." You regain 33 hp and a nasty reputation.

I grow a second pair of arms. This will work.

18: You resemble either a Spider-Man wannabe or a character from Schlock Mercenary.

mythmonster2's crooked cops continue their combat with Omega.
ROLL TO DODGE!
14: You easily evade their erratic ejections.

 

[Seon]

I use my angelic CareSeon Stare to make everyone in the vicinity friends.

 

[choxorn]

I use my sword to scalp kill fire. Without his ridiculous anime hair, his super saiyan powers should immediately vanish.

 

[Earthling]

Whew, what a rush! That one was close, also thanks to an unwitting choxorn. Lucky no one angered me...I've got enough of a mission without random spacetime vengeance to enact.

First things first, got some time, and actually decided I need the end result anyway - wearing my Hawaiian shirt (sure it's small, but hey, don't have to button it) I raise some more quick cash to add to my old coins via comedic routine/performance at distributing the sometimes erudite, sometimes questionable fashion advice from the CFC OT of the future.

(something said for spontaneity's sake, at least)

 

[TheLastOne36]

I jump on my flying horsie and find fly looking for Killfire, I then descend on killfire hopefully to hit him.

 

[GenMarshall]

I read the Chinese Army: Special Ops Training Manual, to learn how to be stealthy.

 

[bestrfcplayer]

I hide from any living object.

 

[kill fire]

I shoot a blast of pure energy at choxorn to stop him from cutting my insane awesome anime Super Saiyan hair.

 

[Abaddon]

Send off to all the competitions in this weeks Radio Times.. even the really lame crossword puzzel.

 

[tuxedohamm]

Begin attacking anything we (Angels and I) can.

 

[Omega124]

I tap my body for extra power, and summon the same people as last post. The two guys I summonded before can stay or leave, their choice.