Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

[CivCube]

I fire away at the Horse Talisman!

 

[Omega124]

I send snipers to take out the command oof the American cell.

 

[NinjaCow64]

*sigh*, fine then I'll attack the 52nd at CLOSE RANGE!?!?!?

 

[GenMarshall]

Using my sneak and infiltration skills, I sneak my way to a friendly village.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

Wounds? What wounds? I am perfectly healthy.

9 (10): Contrary to what The Secret would have you believe, simply wanting _x doesn't mean you'll actually get it.
ROLL TO DODGE!
2 (1): Concentrated fire deals 20 damage, and your heavy wounds mean your basic defence falls by 2.

I fire away at the Horse Talisman!

10 (12): A bullet breaks the necklace and it falls to the ground.
ROLL TO DODGE!
14 (14): You manage to bounce a couple of Christos' shots back at him for 11 damage.

I send snipers to take out the command oof the American cell.

13: Eliminating key officers buys you three turns' reprieve from attacks in America.

*sigh*, fine then I'll attack the 52nd at CLOSE RANGE!?!?!?

13 (10): They keep their distance while firing back at you.
ROLL TO DODGE!
11 (11): You manage to avoid all damage.

Using my sneak and infiltration skills, I sneak my way to a friendly village.

5: You can't infiltrate friendlies, silly. Anyway, breaking cover you give the 33rd a lock.
ROLL TO DODGE!
14 (11): Your zig-zagging helps dodge the pursuit fire.

The Mike Pence strafes Kyrgyzstan in preparation for its annexation.
ROLL TO DODGE!
10 (14): Orbital bombardment blows away 1 Defence.

The Eternal Kingdom moves to inhale North Korea.
ROLL TO DODGE!
13 (15): It's just like the Fifties, but that they're playing for keeps. The South African terrorists continue the recolonization of Zimbabwe.
ROLL TO DODGE!
18 (18): Seizing the capital demoralizes the country -2 Defence.

​

 

[CivCube]

I fire all I got at Christos.

 

[Omega124]

I give a televised speech, telling King George to throw down with me mano a womano

 

[JohannaK]

I beat reality in the face until I heal.

 

[NinjaCow64]

I use my twigs as improvised throwing weapons, aiming directly for the eyes of the remaining members of the 52nd. Saber willing that will finish them off.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I fire all I got at Christos.

3 (7): He's moved outside your firing arc!
ROLL TO DODGE!
15 (15): He then fades back in as he tries to recover the Horse Talisman, letting you dish out 16 damage.

I give a televised speech, telling King George to throw down with me mano a womano

8 (14): Judging by how his American goons are now bee-lining to your front, you think it's safe to say you've got his attention.

I beat reality in the face until I heal.

3 (4): You lose 3 SAN.
ROLL TO DODGE!
4 (1): This is why one shouldn't rely too heavily on giant spaceships for combat buffs. You take 19 damage, suffering a light concussion that impedes all rolls by 1.

I use my twigs as improvised throwing weapons, aiming directly for the eyes of the remaining members of the 52nd. Saber willing that will finish them off.

8 (5): They're not very aerodynamic. Whatever doesn't veer off course is easily deflected.
ROLL TO DODGE!
18 (18): Cowering behind your trusty shield, you repel the shots back for 15 damage.

The Mike Pence makes a pass over the USA to clear a route to Omega.
ROLL TO DODGE!
9 (14): The American cell gains a +1 attack bonus this turn.

Hoping to flank JohannaK, the Eternal Kingdom pushes in from western India.
ROLL TO DODGE!
6 (7): India continues to hold it at bay. Galvanized by Omega's challenge, the US insurgency rallies for an attack this turn!
ROLL TO DODGE!
10 (15): Pushing up from the south, EKNC forces establish a front line v. Pennsylvania. Over in South Africa, another attempt is made to break the line.
ROLL TO DODGE!
12 (7): The determined defenders beat it back. Reorganized, the Somali cell moves to consolidate its position.
ROLL TO DODGE!
5 (4): The offensive fails once again, buying time for Somaliland to fortify 2 points.

CivGeneral is declared AWOL.

​

 

[CivCube]

I slam-m-m-whomm-whomm th-th-th-the g-g-g-g-round-d-d-wown-wown SHOCKWAVE

Ten bloodlust points added

SHOCKLUST BLOODWAVE

 

[JohannaK]

I take a break and heal fully.

 

[Omega124]

Citizens of Earth, lend me your energy

(I was even going to link a clip to this, but every clip I found was a cringy amv)

 

[GenMarshall]

I stealthy flee to Greece.

(I'm hating the alert thingy now since it did not update me that this thread has been updated!!!)

 

[NinjaCow64]

"You are on 9 HP. Please just die already!"

 

[NinjaCow64]

I stealthy flee to Greece.

(I'm hating the alert thingy now since it did not update me that this thread has been updated!!!)

Its dangerous to go alone, take this! (Seriously bookmark that page it is so much better than the Alert system).

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I slam-m-m-whomm-whomm th-th-th-the g-g-g-g-round-d-d-wown-wown SHOCKWAVE
Ten bloodlust points added
SHOCKLUST BLOODWAVE

11 (20): You unleash a mini-earthquake that throws Christos off his feet for a winding 18 damage, stunning him for -3 to rolls for the next four turns!
As the corruption spreads, you begin to question why you're fighting the Gang of Four in the first place. (-1 v. Gang of Four)

I take a break and heal fully.

17 (17): Breaking off from combat, you go to the field hospital and get patched up 40 hitpoints. Unfortunately, the 4th pursues you through the line.
ROLL TO DODGE!
12 (7): Errant bullets scratch you up -7 hitpoints.

Citizens of Earth, lend me your energy

13: You begin prepping the Spirit Bomb, ETA 8 turns. During this time your Attack and Defence lower 3 points.

I stealthy flee to Greece.

5: That's far too far for an emergency exit.
ROLL TO DODGE!
8 (7): A hail of gunfire nicks you for 8 damage.

"You are on 9 HP. Please just die already!"

12 (10): The unit will not be swayed by your propaganda.
ROLL TO DODGE!
9 (9): You're shot and scuffed for 6 damage.

The Mike Pence softens up the South African front.
ROLL TO DODGE!
7 (12): National Defence weakens 1 point.

The Eternal Kingdom pushes further into Siberia.
ROLL TO DODGE!
1 (1): Enveloped by the vastness of the Motherland, the offensive is utterly crushed, strengthening Soviet Defence +3.
America bides its time, waiting for the King to arrive.
"Blah blah blah Mozambique, blah blah blah Conquer it, blah blah blah No survivors."
ROLL TO DODGE!
4 (4): The offensive fails again, strengthening the country +2 Defence. The Somali insurgency makes a break for Oman.
ROLL TO DODGE!
4 (6): It can't even finish off Yemen, which fortifies 1 point.

 

[JohannaK]

I sing the 4th into surrender.

 

[CivCube]

As the corruption spreads, you begin to question why you're fighting the Gang of Four in the first place. (-1 v. Gang of Four)

I remove myself from the debris.

 

[NinjaCow64]

I reflect more bullets to kill the 52nd, that seemed to work earlier.