A Rude Awakening
Alvinar awoke, face down on a simple clay plate, crumbs covering his face and hair. He slowly lifted his pounding head, taking in his surroundings. To his left, he saw a fireplace, the fire licking up from beneath two stacked logs. To his right, he could see the remnants of a night he could not remember. He was in a tavern room, the Porkbelly Inn, if he could recall correctly. All around the room there were broken chairs, plates, cups. Light streamed in through a window-less windowpane, only the jagged remnants of the glass that once sat remained.
In front of him, behind the bar at which he had passed out for the night, stood a towering, potbellied, greasy, mustachioed man. The man was hairy all over, except for the top of his head, which was bald as a new-born babes. He had shaggy, wild muttonchop sideburns growing out of the side of his head, a dark black color, with slashes of gray here and there. He had a chipped mug in one hand, and in the other was a dirty rag which he was using to clean the mug. It took Alvinar a moment to realize that this man was glaring silently - angrily - down at him.
Alvinar leaned back and, despite the thudding headache he suffered, managed a smile, and stretched his arms behind himself. He winked one blood shot eye at the innkeeper and said, Morning, bartender!
The bartender merely grunted in reply, Afternoon. he continued to scrub the inside of the mug with the dirty towel, as well as maintaining the same angry expression on his face.
Al pushed himself up from the bar. He scanned the room again, smiled once more at the bartender, and started to back slowly towards the door. Ive got to say, Ive slept on many a bar counter before -
Imagine that. the bartender cut him off, sarcastically.
Alvinar cleared his throat, and continued, Yes, well, as I was saying, you surely do have one of the most comfortable bar counters Ive ever had the, uh, privilege to sleep on, He turned and gestured to the mess surrounding him, but, I can see that youre pretty busy right now, so I think Ill take my leave. and with that, he turned to leave the inn.
Ah, I dont think so, bard. the innkeeper spat out.
Pardon? Alvinar asked, bringing himself to a sudden stop and spinning to face the grumpy fat man.
You aint leaving til yeh pay up. he growled at the bard.
Alvinar nodded, and smiled again. Ah, yes. I do believe I owe you for sleeping under your roof last night. Now, since I didnt rent a room, I anticipate you will not be charging me a full room rental fee, correct? What do you say he reached into the coin purse tied to his belt, and pulled out the last two gold pieces he had to his name, two gold ought be enough, right? He held the coins up at eye level, so the bartender could get a good look.
But the bartender snorted again. Gonna need to pay a bit more than that, you talentless hack. You owe me for the mess. Twas you that started the fight, after all, so youre the one to foot the bill. I expect no less than one-hundred-and-fifty kings heads, for the window alone. You know how long I had to save up to buy the glass? Do you?! he started roaring now, slamming the mug and rag on the countertop with anger, Nearly a year! I had to save up everything I had just to get one window put in this place! He was sputtering, his face turning red with rage.
Alvinar gulped, hard. He had just these last two gold coins, and had no way of getting one-hundred-and-forty-eight more to appease the man before him. Thinking fast, he bowed to the bartender. My good man, I appear to have exhausted my funds. If youd be so kind, I would go to my wagon down the road and return with the money you demand. he lied, and again smiled his infectious smile, but his charisma was lost on the bartender.
I may be a commoner, but I aint no fool. If you dont give me the money you owe me now, Im going to beat you to a bloody pulp, and then hand you over to the guards. he said, walking around the end of the bar and advancing towards Alvinar.
Al tried backing away, hoping the man was merely bluffing. But by the fire that glowed in his eyes, and the way he punched one open palm with his other fist, it became apparent, fast, that the man meant what he said.
Adrenaline pumped through the bards veins. Suddenly, his headache was forgotten. He had foolishly backed up as the innkeeper approached, and now the big man was between Alvinar and the door. So, Al did the only thing he could. He straightened up, and held out his fists.
The other man pulled an arm back, ready to deliver one head-spinner of a punch when Alvinar suddenly opened his fists, pointing his palms out towards his attacker. Wait! he cried, catching the bartender by surprise. The man hesitated for a moment, holding his arm back up and behind his head, contemplating on whether to stop and see what would happen next, or flat out punching Alvinar in the face. Wait! he pleaded again, and when it became obvious the bartender would listen to what he had to say, he composed himself, and backed away slowly, stepping between fallen tables and chairs. Alright, alright. I can understand your mistrust. I am but a stranger here, and it would be wise of you to assume that I would just skip town should you let me leave to retrieve my money from my wagon. However, should this come to blows, I feel it is my responsibility to forewarn you that I have spent many a year studying the martial arts with the Feranji Warrior Monks that live high atop Mount Frost, in the Agadans. As such, I believe it is only fair and honorable to let you be aware of the danger you are about to bring upon yourself.
The bartender stared, bewildered, for a moment. He slowly lowered his arm to his side as he examined Alvinar from head to foot. Then he shook his head, and glared yet again. What kind of dumb horse-lover do you take me for? I saw you fight last night. A one armed girl could have beaten you. Theres no way you studied with them monks or who ever. You know, for lying to me like that, Im going to beat you twice as hard!
Again, he pulled back his arm like an archer pulling on the drawstring. He held it back, aiming the punch, as Alvinar tried to ready his defenses. It all seemed to be going in slow motion to Al, who raised his arms up to block his face. The man may have been fat, but he was obviously strong, and Al was sure this punch would probably put him down all by itself. Just as the bartender appeared to be ready to let loose, a high-pitched cry filled the room, followed by the sound of a crate of wood crashing to the floor. Then the pitter-patter of clothed feet came towards Al (whos eyes were shut tight, anticipating the punch) and the innkeeper. Daddy! No!
At the sound of the womans voice, Alvinar dared to peek out with one eye. The big man in front of him still held his arm back, his jaw still set, his eyes still glaring at Al. Behind him, however, coming from the door, ran a young woman about Als own age, in a common burlap dress. Still, she was pretty with her soft strawberry colored hair rolled up above her color, and her large, green eyes glowing with fear. Behind her, in the doorway, was a wooden crate filled with potatoes sitting on the floor.
She ran up to her father, grabbing the arm which, only moments before, was intended to punch Alvinar in the nose. Daddy! What are you doing?! Stop! Stop right now! she pleaded, crying, yanking on his arm.
Al leaned back, brought down his defenses, and opened both eyes. He nodded along with the girls demands. I believe you should listen to your daughter, sir. Besides, should you beat me to a bloody pulp, as you stated you would, that would only mean more of a mess for you to clean up afterwards.
Get off me, girl! the bartender howled, trying to push his daughter off of him. This man owes us money, and has no way of paying! Im only giving him what he deserves! He shook her loose, and she fell to the floor, crying.
He advanced yet again towards Alvinar, who had managed to back up to yet another side of the room. Now sir, it is considered to be in poor taste to fight in the presence of a lady. Alvinar pleaded, lied, hoping he could still prevent the butt-whooping he was sure to receive.
The innkeeper kept advancing, Alvinar kept retreating. He really did not feel well enough to get into a fist fight right now, the headache was coming back to him, and he was starting to feel a bit nauseated. The girl kept crying, sobbing, her whole body shaking with her wails. Al didnt quite understand why she was crying so much, maybe her father had a history of beating the tar out of his patrons, or maybe she just really didnt like violence. In any case, he hoped she would jump up and help him again, because it was plain as the nose on his face that the bartender wouldnt listen to Al anymore.
Finally, she was starting to plead again, instead of just sobbing incoherently. Please father! You you c-c-cant you cant beat him! You cant beat my fiancée!
At that, both Alvinar and the bartender froze in place, then turned to face the wailing girl sitting on her knees in the middle of the tavern floor.
Fiancée?! they both blurted out in unison, Alvinar in shock, the bartender in anger.
M m mhm. she nodded. He asked he asked me to marry hi-hi-him last night. D-dont you remember, my l-l-love? she stuttered between tears.
Alvinars stomach emptied itself right then and there.
And then it all came flooding back to him. Well, mostly. He vaguely remembered bedding the girl last night, in the back room, while the fight was in progress. He really had drank too much. He had forgotten these simple country folks traditions bedding a woman was the same thing as asking her hand in marriage, to these people. And if she allowed it, she was basically agreeing to be your wife.
The bartender, on the other hand, did not forget. He spun around, his face now more red then ever, a small vein on the side of his neck pulsing angrily. You did WHAT with my daughter?! Now he didnt just advance on Al, but charged him. There was no talking him down now, Al understood, and as such, he made a mad dash for the door.
He was able to slip past the brute, who swung wildly. The punch missed its mark, as Al ducked it and ran for the door, and the momentum of it carried the man off his feet. Alvinar managed to zig-zag through the maze of fallen chairs and upturned tables, but tripped over the potato crate on the way out. He hit the dirt outside and rolled, somehow managing to get to his feet. As soon as he was up, he ran down the road as fast as he could, not bothering to look back at the confused young woman who stood in the doorway, watching her lover take off. Or her wrathful father, who slowly stepped out into the street, watching the same person disappear around a bend, waving his fist in the air in anger and victory.
Later that night, after Al had put enough distance between himself and the tavern as he could, and began to set up camp along the side of the road leading to Kertus, he made a mental note to himself: in the future, avoid the Porkbelly Inn.
Alvinar awoke, face down on a simple clay plate, crumbs covering his face and hair. He slowly lifted his pounding head, taking in his surroundings. To his left, he saw a fireplace, the fire licking up from beneath two stacked logs. To his right, he could see the remnants of a night he could not remember. He was in a tavern room, the Porkbelly Inn, if he could recall correctly. All around the room there were broken chairs, plates, cups. Light streamed in through a window-less windowpane, only the jagged remnants of the glass that once sat remained.
In front of him, behind the bar at which he had passed out for the night, stood a towering, potbellied, greasy, mustachioed man. The man was hairy all over, except for the top of his head, which was bald as a new-born babes. He had shaggy, wild muttonchop sideburns growing out of the side of his head, a dark black color, with slashes of gray here and there. He had a chipped mug in one hand, and in the other was a dirty rag which he was using to clean the mug. It took Alvinar a moment to realize that this man was glaring silently - angrily - down at him.
Alvinar leaned back and, despite the thudding headache he suffered, managed a smile, and stretched his arms behind himself. He winked one blood shot eye at the innkeeper and said, Morning, bartender!
The bartender merely grunted in reply, Afternoon. he continued to scrub the inside of the mug with the dirty towel, as well as maintaining the same angry expression on his face.
Al pushed himself up from the bar. He scanned the room again, smiled once more at the bartender, and started to back slowly towards the door. Ive got to say, Ive slept on many a bar counter before -
Imagine that. the bartender cut him off, sarcastically.
Alvinar cleared his throat, and continued, Yes, well, as I was saying, you surely do have one of the most comfortable bar counters Ive ever had the, uh, privilege to sleep on, He turned and gestured to the mess surrounding him, but, I can see that youre pretty busy right now, so I think Ill take my leave. and with that, he turned to leave the inn.
Ah, I dont think so, bard. the innkeeper spat out.
Pardon? Alvinar asked, bringing himself to a sudden stop and spinning to face the grumpy fat man.
You aint leaving til yeh pay up. he growled at the bard.
Alvinar nodded, and smiled again. Ah, yes. I do believe I owe you for sleeping under your roof last night. Now, since I didnt rent a room, I anticipate you will not be charging me a full room rental fee, correct? What do you say he reached into the coin purse tied to his belt, and pulled out the last two gold pieces he had to his name, two gold ought be enough, right? He held the coins up at eye level, so the bartender could get a good look.
But the bartender snorted again. Gonna need to pay a bit more than that, you talentless hack. You owe me for the mess. Twas you that started the fight, after all, so youre the one to foot the bill. I expect no less than one-hundred-and-fifty kings heads, for the window alone. You know how long I had to save up to buy the glass? Do you?! he started roaring now, slamming the mug and rag on the countertop with anger, Nearly a year! I had to save up everything I had just to get one window put in this place! He was sputtering, his face turning red with rage.
Alvinar gulped, hard. He had just these last two gold coins, and had no way of getting one-hundred-and-forty-eight more to appease the man before him. Thinking fast, he bowed to the bartender. My good man, I appear to have exhausted my funds. If youd be so kind, I would go to my wagon down the road and return with the money you demand. he lied, and again smiled his infectious smile, but his charisma was lost on the bartender.
I may be a commoner, but I aint no fool. If you dont give me the money you owe me now, Im going to beat you to a bloody pulp, and then hand you over to the guards. he said, walking around the end of the bar and advancing towards Alvinar.
Al tried backing away, hoping the man was merely bluffing. But by the fire that glowed in his eyes, and the way he punched one open palm with his other fist, it became apparent, fast, that the man meant what he said.
Adrenaline pumped through the bards veins. Suddenly, his headache was forgotten. He had foolishly backed up as the innkeeper approached, and now the big man was between Alvinar and the door. So, Al did the only thing he could. He straightened up, and held out his fists.
The other man pulled an arm back, ready to deliver one head-spinner of a punch when Alvinar suddenly opened his fists, pointing his palms out towards his attacker. Wait! he cried, catching the bartender by surprise. The man hesitated for a moment, holding his arm back up and behind his head, contemplating on whether to stop and see what would happen next, or flat out punching Alvinar in the face. Wait! he pleaded again, and when it became obvious the bartender would listen to what he had to say, he composed himself, and backed away slowly, stepping between fallen tables and chairs. Alright, alright. I can understand your mistrust. I am but a stranger here, and it would be wise of you to assume that I would just skip town should you let me leave to retrieve my money from my wagon. However, should this come to blows, I feel it is my responsibility to forewarn you that I have spent many a year studying the martial arts with the Feranji Warrior Monks that live high atop Mount Frost, in the Agadans. As such, I believe it is only fair and honorable to let you be aware of the danger you are about to bring upon yourself.
The bartender stared, bewildered, for a moment. He slowly lowered his arm to his side as he examined Alvinar from head to foot. Then he shook his head, and glared yet again. What kind of dumb horse-lover do you take me for? I saw you fight last night. A one armed girl could have beaten you. Theres no way you studied with them monks or who ever. You know, for lying to me like that, Im going to beat you twice as hard!
Again, he pulled back his arm like an archer pulling on the drawstring. He held it back, aiming the punch, as Alvinar tried to ready his defenses. It all seemed to be going in slow motion to Al, who raised his arms up to block his face. The man may have been fat, but he was obviously strong, and Al was sure this punch would probably put him down all by itself. Just as the bartender appeared to be ready to let loose, a high-pitched cry filled the room, followed by the sound of a crate of wood crashing to the floor. Then the pitter-patter of clothed feet came towards Al (whos eyes were shut tight, anticipating the punch) and the innkeeper. Daddy! No!
At the sound of the womans voice, Alvinar dared to peek out with one eye. The big man in front of him still held his arm back, his jaw still set, his eyes still glaring at Al. Behind him, however, coming from the door, ran a young woman about Als own age, in a common burlap dress. Still, she was pretty with her soft strawberry colored hair rolled up above her color, and her large, green eyes glowing with fear. Behind her, in the doorway, was a wooden crate filled with potatoes sitting on the floor.
She ran up to her father, grabbing the arm which, only moments before, was intended to punch Alvinar in the nose. Daddy! What are you doing?! Stop! Stop right now! she pleaded, crying, yanking on his arm.
Al leaned back, brought down his defenses, and opened both eyes. He nodded along with the girls demands. I believe you should listen to your daughter, sir. Besides, should you beat me to a bloody pulp, as you stated you would, that would only mean more of a mess for you to clean up afterwards.
Get off me, girl! the bartender howled, trying to push his daughter off of him. This man owes us money, and has no way of paying! Im only giving him what he deserves! He shook her loose, and she fell to the floor, crying.
He advanced yet again towards Alvinar, who had managed to back up to yet another side of the room. Now sir, it is considered to be in poor taste to fight in the presence of a lady. Alvinar pleaded, lied, hoping he could still prevent the butt-whooping he was sure to receive.
The innkeeper kept advancing, Alvinar kept retreating. He really did not feel well enough to get into a fist fight right now, the headache was coming back to him, and he was starting to feel a bit nauseated. The girl kept crying, sobbing, her whole body shaking with her wails. Al didnt quite understand why she was crying so much, maybe her father had a history of beating the tar out of his patrons, or maybe she just really didnt like violence. In any case, he hoped she would jump up and help him again, because it was plain as the nose on his face that the bartender wouldnt listen to Al anymore.
Finally, she was starting to plead again, instead of just sobbing incoherently. Please father! You you c-c-cant you cant beat him! You cant beat my fiancée!
At that, both Alvinar and the bartender froze in place, then turned to face the wailing girl sitting on her knees in the middle of the tavern floor.
Fiancée?! they both blurted out in unison, Alvinar in shock, the bartender in anger.
M m mhm. she nodded. He asked he asked me to marry hi-hi-him last night. D-dont you remember, my l-l-love? she stuttered between tears.
Alvinars stomach emptied itself right then and there.
And then it all came flooding back to him. Well, mostly. He vaguely remembered bedding the girl last night, in the back room, while the fight was in progress. He really had drank too much. He had forgotten these simple country folks traditions bedding a woman was the same thing as asking her hand in marriage, to these people. And if she allowed it, she was basically agreeing to be your wife.
The bartender, on the other hand, did not forget. He spun around, his face now more red then ever, a small vein on the side of his neck pulsing angrily. You did WHAT with my daughter?! Now he didnt just advance on Al, but charged him. There was no talking him down now, Al understood, and as such, he made a mad dash for the door.
He was able to slip past the brute, who swung wildly. The punch missed its mark, as Al ducked it and ran for the door, and the momentum of it carried the man off his feet. Alvinar managed to zig-zag through the maze of fallen chairs and upturned tables, but tripped over the potato crate on the way out. He hit the dirt outside and rolled, somehow managing to get to his feet. As soon as he was up, he ran down the road as fast as he could, not bothering to look back at the confused young woman who stood in the doorway, watching her lover take off. Or her wrathful father, who slowly stepped out into the street, watching the same person disappear around a bend, waving his fist in the air in anger and victory.
Later that night, after Al had put enough distance between himself and the tavern as he could, and began to set up camp along the side of the road leading to Kertus, he made a mental note to himself: in the future, avoid the Porkbelly Inn.