Sheep - What's with it ?

[Veritass]

So, the veteran shepherd is breaking in the new shepherd and going over the job requirements, etc. Toward the end the veteran explains that the job is very lonely, and when you get horny enough, just use one of the sheep. The rookie is of course appalled at the thought, and says he will never do such a thing.

They spend the next two weeks out together on the training run, and toward the end the rookie starts to get very horny and decides to do one of the sheep. When he is done and is walking back to camp, he sees the veteran laughing hysterically and shouts, "What!? You said I should use one of the sheep when I get horny!"

"Yes," the veteran replies, "but you picked the ugliest one in the herd."

 

[Heretic_Cata]

Am i the only one that thinks that this whole sheep thing is just another "funny" and "inteligent" insult toward christianity ? Or maybe this is just how it started ...

 

[Sidhe]

Am i the only one that thinks that this whole sheep thing is just another "funny" and "inteligent" insult toward christianity ? Or maybe this is just how it started ...

Yes you are, sheep sex is not a slight towards the church but towards people who live in countries with more sheep than people, it is not offensive as such just a wry mockery usualy, we do not genuinely believe that sheep farmers sleep with any female other than there wife but hey when their wife is out of town If you want to bring the shepherds that saw christ in the manger into it by all means do but your on your own here?

It started when the ancient civs herded sheep and had no contact with society for months on end. Whilst it might of been based on the odd anecdotal account it certainly is meant in any way to offend God.

 

[Jawz II]

i have no idea how this would be offensive to the church... can someone explain it to me?

cause if it is, i wanna get in on the church offending action too!

 

[Leonel]

i have no idea how this would be offensive to the church... can someone explain it to me?

cause if it is, i wanna get in on the church offending action too!

Well what really gets us Christians riled up is if you wear your clothing backwards, fill your pockets with as many rubber frogs as you possibly can stuff and quack like a duck as loud as you can! The best effect is surprisingly not in front of a church but in the middle of a town or city square. You'll summon every hellfire preaching minister within a 100 mile radius for sure!

 

[kingjoshi]

There was a report recently about a farmer hearing a noise late at night and went to go check on it. And he found a man having sex with his goat (sheep?). He went to the elder councils and they told him not to press charges. They decided the criminal should pay a dowry and marry the animal. I can't remember if that was Afghanistan or Pakistan. Hilarious though

 

[King Alexander]

There was a report recently about a farmer hearing a noise late at night and went to go check on it. And he found a man having sex with his goat (sheep?). He went to the elder councils and they told him not to press charges. They decided the criminal should pay a dowry and marry the animal. I can't remember if that was Afghanistan or Pakistan. Hilarious though

No, in such places in the twilight zone, the law says to KILL the (whatever)animal and not to sell it's meat to your village(but you can sell it to the next village, it's ok, if you want 50 virgins to wait for you at Paradises' Gates).

btw: it would be interesting if the penalty for such acts at such countries would be to have the animal do it the same to it's rapist...it'd be very interesting...especially with cows/horses/mules/etc...

 

[Sophie 378]

OK, since a mod has started this thread, can I start one on WTH is up with the current fad of men seeming to find lesbians more attractive than heterosexual girls? I know several girls who've pretended to be lesbians for the sole purpose of attracting men. Why should a guy find someone more attractive if there's practically zero chance that they'll find him attractive? Rape fantasies, or grass-is-greener, or what? Or would that be too sexual for this forum?

 

[King Alexander]

OK, since a mod has started this thread, can I start one on WTH is up with the current fad of men seeming to find lesbians more attractive than heterosexual girls?

Most people here are KIDS who never had sex so far, is it clear? To claim that most men find lesbians more attractive than heterosexual girls is false.

It's just the childish idea in most men's head that they'll get to have sex with two women(if the later are a couple, rather than only one if it were heterosexual), which means men will have sex twice as much with two women(well, if they have the stamina that is, because if they need breaks for viagra... )

I know several girls who've pretended to be lesbians for the sole purpose of attracting men. Why should a guy find someone more attractive if there's practically zero chance that they'll find him attractive?

See above. It's not that it finds them more attractive BUT the idea of having twice as much sex.

Maybe also experiment more in the sexual field, if we assume that lesbians are more "open-minded"? I don't know, I'm just guessing... Anything could be possible inside men's heads...

Rape fantasies, or grass-is-greener, or what?

I don't get what you want to say.

edited

 

[Fifty]

Who needs sheep? All I need is a gigantic smelly human foot and a can of pork n' beans!

 

[Kan' Sharuminar]

Who needs sheep? All I need is a gigantic smelly human foot and a can of pork n' beans!

I don't think any of us expected that.

In addition, I just remembered that I come from Aberdeen, Scotland, which for some reason has a reputation for this sort of Sheep-based activities. I do believe we even give fans of Aberdeen F.C the nickname 'sheeps' (or at least the people I speak to do )

Sadly, have absolutely no idea where this reputation comes from, and for the record, I want to leave.

 

[Fifty]

I don't think any of us expected that.

Is that sarcastic, because I'm well known to be immature and wierd, or is it serious, because you haven't seen many of my posts in any thread even remotely related to sex?

 

[Kan' Sharuminar]

Is that sarcastic, because I'm well known to be immature and wierd, or is it serious, because you haven't seen many of my posts in any thread even remotely related to sex?

Yeah it was sarcastic

Well to be fair, I honestly wasn't expecting anyone to say what you did, but it did make me chuckle.

 

[mrtn]

Sophie, I think that's got to do with overcoming difficult odds. If you manage to make it with a lesbian you must be unbelievably hot, mustn't you?

I think there's some kind of logic in there somewhere.

 

[kingjoshi]

it's simple. Two pretty girls are more attractive then one.

Anything beyond is rationalization. Do you actually think men think? I mean, when I think a women attractive, I'm not going, "The size of her hips increases the chances of the babies survival through pregnancy. The symmetry of her face signifies a long line of healthy genes. The size of those mammary glands ensures the baby will be well fed." etc.. It's beyond thinking.

And when we do think about women, most men are retards. "If I say this line, this girl is going to fall all over me." With double the attracive women, the less blood in the brain and less rational though involved. It just simply, "ooh, more women for me." A realization that we cannot get the women does not deter the excitement we get from seeing them.

Well, that's my theory for now at least...

 

[cegman]

Well in videos you don't want to see the guy and this just got worse to what we have now.

 

[Shaihulud]

So, the veteran shepherd is breaking in the new shepherd and going over the job requirements, etc. Toward the end the veteran explains that the job is very lonely, and when you get horny enough, just use one of the sheep. The rookie is of course appalled at the thought, and says he will never do such a thing.

They spend the next two weeks out together on the training run, and toward the end the rookie starts to get very horny and decides to do one of the sheep. When he is done and is walking back to camp, he sees the veteran laughing hysterically and shouts, "What!? You said I should use one of the sheep when I get horny!"

"Yes," the veteran replies, "but you picked the ugliest one in the herd."

I have heard a variation of this story, but with camels. An American officer was posted to a dump in Iraq. His commanding Officer told him that if he was to feel the urges, he could use one of the Camels. As the days roll by. The young officer, unable to tolerate it any longer obliged, and was caught by his aghasted OC. Of course when the OC said to use the camel, he meant to travel on it to the city for prostitutes.

 

[PrinceOfLeigh]

OK, since a mod has started this thread, can I start one on WTH is up with the current fad of men seeming to find lesbians more attractive than heterosexual girls?

I think it's mainly men who have led a sheltered life who like the lesbian thing. Simply because they believe what porn & Jerry Springer tells them in that all lesbians are hawt.

When these people go to university and see the LGBT society, that's the wake up call.

Are you talking about Lesbian Sheep by the way? Because that I have no knowledge about.

 

[Erik Mesoy]

Furries in our forums!!!

"Furophobes in our forums!!! "



You think that's bad?

 

[Heretic_Cata]

What i meant was that the sheep is very simbolic to christians. So this would be very popular because this would piss off christians (as Jaws clearly showed this).
And i bet the church would be more upset than God.