So you're in love with your best friend, Part Deux
- Thread starter Cheezy the Wiz
- Start date
Cheezy the Wiz
Socialist In A Hurry
Catbackwards, you never answered this question, I'm very curious as to the answer.
I don't follow.
Thank you all for your advice! Now that I have the cards, I have to decide what to play...
Although, we are going to the Cherry Blossom Festival in a few weeks.
Catbackwards
Chieftain
Going with what you said: yes it is also loving the other person for who they are, but it's a bit more complex than that. You have to know when...
I believe Nylan already answered a good portion of this. It's about balance, trust, support, unconditional love..
Balance: Knowing when you're going to far, knowing how to keep yourself in control, etc.
Unconditional Love: No matter what they do, in the end you will always love them.
It's really hard to explain..
"It's all about balance. You can have control, but still react emotinally in given situations. I can't give examples, you'll just know when the time comes. Crying out of sheer joy in some contexts can be very badly timed, but in others (like a deep, true love that you have described) it can mean the world to a girl, even if you've done everything not to break down." <--but this is really good.
Immature love constantly wants.
Mature love wants to give. But that is just my opinion.
I guess..everyone has their own ideas of what is mature and what is immature.
Alright you know what, in this jumble of words, the most important thing is BALANCE.
Just remember that.
Cheezy the Wiz
Socialist In A Hurry
I wasn't aware I was giving the impression that this is a wanting love. I want her to be happy foremost, if that means not being with me, then that's what I want for her, because I love her.
Kozmos
Jew Detective
I am Cleric. The self-proclaimed god of beer. I COMMAND YOU TO DRINK!
Get smashed so hard you wont remember who she is....and once you do curse her and repeat step one again until all good memories of her are washed away by the incessant puking.
Get smashed so hard you wont remember who she is....and once you do curse her and repeat step one again until all good memories of her are washed away by the incessant puking.
Catbackwards
Chieftain
Good thing there's not really a god of beer...oh how screwed up this world would be.
Kozmos
Jew Detective
Screwed up....or awesome?
jameson
Emperor
First of all, compliments on maintaining the friendship even though the girl isn't interested in you the way you'd like her to be. That being said though, get the hell out of there.
When you can't have who you want, the solution is to start wanting someone else. If your best friend eventually decides she is after all interested in you, she'll be sure to let you know. If not, you'll simply be wasting your time waiting for something that will never happen. I hate pulling out the 'plenty of fish in the sea'-trope here but it's true anyway. Spend whatever time you need feeling sorry for yourself, then get over it.
And yes, I speak from experience
.
When you can't have who you want, the solution is to start wanting someone else. If your best friend eventually decides she is after all interested in you, she'll be sure to let you know. If not, you'll simply be wasting your time waiting for something that will never happen. I hate pulling out the 'plenty of fish in the sea'-trope here but it's true anyway. Spend whatever time you need feeling sorry for yourself, then get over it.
And yes, I speak from experience
.
warpus
Sommerswerd asked me to change this
First of all, compliments on maintaining the friendship even though the girl isn't interested in you the way you'd like her to be. That being said though, get the hell out of there.
When you can't have who you want, the solution is to start wanting someone else. If your best friend eventually decides she is after all interested in you, she'll be sure to let you know. If not, you'll simply be wasting your time waiting for something that will never happen. I hate pulling out the 'plenty of fish in the sea'-trope here but it's true anyway. Spend whatever time you need feeling sorry for yourself, then get over it.
And yes, I speak from experience
Some good advice there.
Also, be careful about showing her some of this love you feel for her.. and I'm not talking about hugs and kisses or whatever. I'm talking about taking special care of her when she's around.. don't fall into the 'boyfriend but not really' role.
She knows how you feel.. try to be just friends.. distance yourself from her a bit.. if she starts developing feelings for you you will find out.. but until then you don't want to be too close to her. it will just hurt you.
Kozmos
Jew Detective
Yup, he's in the friends zone. A sort of a hell that is.
Nylan
Characters Welcome
"Just Friends" anyone? 
"When Jamie smiles...it takes me miles...."
"When Jamie smiles...it takes me miles...."
Kozmos
Jew Detective
"Just Friends" anyone?
"When Jamie smiles...it takes me miles...."
I watched that.....hilarious.
If you wish a classical authority, try Ovid's Remedia Amoris. I'm not sure if it will reassure you or not that people were writing about this two millennia ago. 
A nice bit:
A nice bit:
Homie
Anti-Lefty
I've never felt the way you feel about this woman, and I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Bad, because I'm missing out, and may be incapable of feeling that strongly for someone (I'm 22). Or good, because I'm not in your situation, loving a girl who doesn't love me back.
My advice: forget the whole thing. It's not going to happen. Take a nice long walk by yourself and realize you're better off without the trouble of a love triangle.
I found myself in your shoes once or twice, and I found it better to let it pass. You will to, in time.
I found myself in your shoes once or twice, and I found it better to let it pass. You will to, in time.
Gr3yL3gion
Voice of Madness
Yes, or try to jump off a cliff.
Nylan
Characters Welcome
It has happened before and it might
but it might not and I wouldn't force it
Be grateful she is still a friend. Stay a friend, no more no less, and wait to see what time brings your way. Her or someone else, you'll still be happy.
but it might not and I wouldn't force it
Be grateful she is still a friend. Stay a friend, no more no less, and wait to see what time brings your way. Her or someone else, you'll still be happy.
Rossiya
Fridge Magnet Porn
- Joined
- Mar 10, 2006
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Cheezy the Wiz
Socialist In A Hurry
I should have thought of that.
Well I talked to her best friend, who is also a good friend of mine. Basically, I just spilled it all out, and let her (the friend) realize exactly what was going on in my head. She relayed to me that this girl values my friendship greatly, but (and apparently they've talked about this before) she would never consider me as a life partner. I've always felt like this was the case, you know, that "gut" feeling, but, being me, I knew I needed to hear it said, confirmed, by someone who knew, if not directly from the horse's mouth.
So that's it, I guess. I'll have to settle for her being a friend. Not a bad compromise, I might add, but still not what I'd hoped for. But hey, I'm nineteen years old, I've got a lot more ahead of me. I'm transferring to Towson, across the state, in the fall, I'm sure I'll met someone there, and if not, abroad, in the Navy. It's not like it's the end of the world, but it sure it a stab in the gut.
Of course, if she ever changes her mind...
but I'm not going to push it any more.Similar threads
