The Good State of Offtopic

[Valka D'Ur]

That's what is was asking: If there were PMs sort of going along with the progression of that thread in Mary's case.
Needless to say i would desire more than the answer you have given, but obviously it wouldn't be useful for me to push you towards speculating on that datum.

I'm trying to find a balance between what I know and what it would be ethical for me to say, and what I think I could speculate with reasonable accuracy.

Honestly, the only way for you to know is to ask her yourself and accept that she might not choose to reply.

 

[Hygro]

I invite you to re-read the threads in question.

Game thread and?

 

[ulyssesSgrant]

In your opinion, you mean. I'm not the only non-Mary person who perceived the <stuff> thrown at her as examples of bullying.

Yeah, everything I state is my opinion. I think it's basically a fact she wasn't bullied in that thread, but that, again, is just my opinion. All any of us have to bring to the table is our opinion.

To be clear, if she was bullied via PM, that is obviously bad. I can't imagine anyone would defend that, and obviously most people wouldn't know if she was bullied there. The original claim was that she was bullied in the thread.

Again, the point is that if you tell someone "this is what results from your current course of action" and they continue that course of action they are making a very clear statement of their intentions and I see no reason not to give them the treatment such an intention deserves.

Sure, but you do agree that people are capable of exploiting this, right? What happens if you are the one being perfectly polite and reasonable, and the other party still asserts "this is what results form your current course of action". Is the onus now on you to stop being reasonable, set aside your cognitive faculties, and find a way to please this person? And to be clear, this is what I saw happen. You can't make insulting and incorrect assertions about an entire sex and expect everyone to smile and nod. I mean, I'm not going to analyze it again, it's kind of boring at this point, LM summed it up pretty well in her post.

 

[Hygro]

I suppose this is relevant:
https://forums.civfanatics.com/threads/the-abortion-and-vaccination-thread.641802/

Strong statements were made there by "many sides", anyway.
I'm sure there's more and Valka has better kept track than i did.

Just read every post possibly relevant. Can't be that thread. Definitely "strong statements" made by the opposing "teams" of that thread. The few directly, personally attacking posts were made by persons in the team sharing more likes and more posters. Very contentious discussion, pretty good thread to skim.

 

[Timsup2nothin]

What happens if you are the one being perfectly polite and reasonable,

I avoid this problem by never being polite and reasonable.

 

[Valka D'Ur]

Game thread and?

Oppression Olympics.

LM summed it up pretty well in her post.

In a really dismissive way. One woman does not speak for all women, and at least I'm not in the habit of claiming to definitively know what's going on in other posters' minds; I'm open to allowing them to clarify in case of a misunderstanding.

 

[Hygro]

Oppression Olympics.

She had one post there and two responses, mine, and Berzerkers.

 

[Valka D'Ur]

She had one post there and one response, mine. That the big neon sign?

That, taken with other threads' posts, yes.

She herself mentioned that particular thread to me.

 

[Hygro]

That, taken with other threads' posts, yes.

She herself mentioned that particular thread to me.

Post in question https://forums.civfanatics.com/threads/oppression-olympics.642444/page-2#post-15378306

 

[Akka]

I wonder if the people who argue in favor of the the ability to define reality through how one is feeling are going to consistently apply this reasoning even when it concerns people they do not necessary like...

(that's a rhetorical question BTW, we all know the actual answer)

 

[Kyriakos]

I wonder if the people who argue in favor of the the ability to define reality through how one is feeling are going to consistently apply this reasoning even when it concerns people they do not necessary like...

(that's a rhetorical question BTW, we all know the actual answer)

This isnt formal logic. Furthermore imo if you notice that someone is feeling bullied in a forum you should at least not contribute to that. Posts in a forum mean next to nothing irl anyway, so it shouldnt be hard.

 

[Valka D'Ur]

Posts in a forum mean next to nothing irl anyway, so it shouldnt be hard.

Some posts can have unintended consequences that mean a great deal. For example, there's a very good reason why "kill yourself" posts are not allowed (at least they aren't on the forums I frequent).

 

[Timsup2nothin]

I wonder if the people who argue in favor of the the ability to define reality through how one is feeling...

Who might that be? I'm thinking that the only way to define how someone feels is by how they say they feel, but that's a fairly small sliver of reality.

 

[Lemon Merchant]

Post in question https://forums.civfanatics.com/threads/oppression-olympics.642444/page-2#post-15378306

FWIW, I hate the term "mansplaining". It is never used properly and is unnecessarily sexist.

 

[Akka]

This isnt formal logic. Furthermore imo if you notice that someone is feeling bullied in a forum you should at least not contribute to that. Posts in a forum mean next to nothing irl anyway, so it shouldnt be hard.

I feel bullied and oppressed by the utter stupidity of every single of your post regarding the EU. I hope you'll refrain from posting on the subject ever starting from now, then. As you said it yourself, it shouldn't be hard for you to do so, right ?

 

[Kyriakos]

I feel bullied and oppressed by the utter stupidity of every single of your post regarding the EU. I hope you'll refrain from posting on the subject ever starting from now, then. As you said it yourself, it shouldn't be hard for you to do so, right ?

My friend, you would be really lucky to actually identify your own as intelligent, so why dislike a chance to feel so

 

[Lemon Merchant]

Moderator Action: That's enough, you two.

 

[Valka D'Ur]

FWIW, I hate the term "mansplaining". It is never used properly and is unnecessarily sexist.

How about just "'splaining'", then? After all, I get highly annoyed when women inform me that because I'm female I'm supposed to be obsessed with makeup (never wear it), jewelry (never wear it unless at a science fiction convention - which I haven't attended in over 20 years), shoes (I own 2 pairs of shoes - one for winter and one for the rest of the year, one pair of boots, and 2 pairs of slippers), "chick flicks" (most of them are not very interesting to me), clothes shopping (hate it), and so on. It's perpetuating a stereotype that is just not accurate. Women are not a hive mind any more than men are.

The reason some people use the term "mansplaining" is because... wait for it... they're annoyed when a man (note that I am not saying all men do this) decides he has to explain women to a woman and usually gets it wrong and when called on it, he doubles down.

 

[red_elk]

About bullying, I realize that every person has different sensitivity and quite often somebody feels offended during forum arguments. Question is how person reacts to perceived bullying.
There are several ways to react constructively - report post to the mods if forum rules were violated, put the offender on ignore list or leave discussion.

But you can't tell other people to stop talking only because their words hurt your feelings. It's a manipulation.
Everyone is entitled to their opinion and should be free to express it without others trying to shut their mouth. Either directly or by appealing to emotions.

 

[Yeekim]

If disagreement with one's stated positions gets defined as bullying, we might as well close down the forum now.