hobbsyoyo
Deity
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- Jul 13, 2012
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@GoodEnoughForMe How was it awful? Just a rehash of Empire?
@GoodEnoughForMe How was it awful? Just a rehash of Empire?
Thank you for your review as well![I'll keep this plot spoiler free, but I'm going to cite some characters. Nothing actually really spoiler but if you literally want 100% ignorance I'm def going to name some characters and allude to what/who I thought sucked.]
That would be forgivable if the movie was good. Like if you squint you can see some plot similarities at the beginning and end. But it's not as bad as Force Awakens. What's worse in that regard is how dialogue and terms and proper nouns are recycled, badly. I can't really give away how or why because of what it reveals. But it makes the final scene almost hilarious, unintentionally, as well as a bunch of other moments.
Every single character's characterization, moral arc, and motivation is warped and changed. It's one thing to crap on Lucas's lore and general ideas - I expect that. But this craps on... Episode VII. Permissively. Rey is warped, Kylo warped, Luke warped, everyone is this weird caricature of what they previously stood for. The plot is simultaneously threadbare and cluttered. For long stretches, nothing ~really~ happens, nothing to actually move things, and yet we are inundated with deus ex machina moments and an overabundance of cheap parlor tricks. Del Toro's entire character is awful, and that entire plot line is pointless and meaningless, to say nothing of Phasma. But Del Toro... he has one of the worst speech disabilities (is it supposed to be drug addled? legit disability? who knows!) I've seen portrayed in a movie. I don't know how you make Del Toro look like he couldn't act in any capacity, but they did. 3/4 of the dialogue is yelling, and what isn't yelling is really contrived, cheap, over-the-top lines delivered for EPIC DRAMA that instead fall horribly, horribly flat. And as for the humour, there are a LOT of attempts at it. Lot is not the key word here, attempts is. Most of it is just bad.
Even the acting has regressed heavily. Any emotional depth from Finn is gone. Same with Poe.
About 1/3 of the way through I thought "this is not that good." About 1/2 through I thought "this is actually pretty bad." About 2/3 of the way through, I thought "the only thing stopping me from walking out is my crushing social anxiety and the fact that I didn't come alone and that this is Star Wars and I am holding out all hope for this thing to pull together."
As a movie, separate from Star Wars, it's awful. As Star Wars, separate from a movie, it's awful. It's logically inconsistent, non-sensible, cringey, and at the end of the day, just not fun.
There are just entire sequences that serve no point and have really easy get out of jail free cards. There's even an entire scene that is - a really, really, really important one too - that is literally, word-for-word, something I'd expect Spaceballs 2 to do if it was made today to parody new Star Wars. Tonally it's weird. Everyone is a smarmy smart ass now. That's ok in, say, Guardians of the Galaxy. It's weird here. There are so many contrived conveniences. The casino planet happens so fast and is so silly and stupid and pointless and rushed and yet not at all important I basically checked out for it. You could cut out 30-40 minutes in the middle and nothing would change. An entire plot line is dragged on for an hour. The final shot is basically Spaceballs again. They have a ring. It looks like it came out of a 25 cent coin machine at my local breakfast cafe. There's even a brand new technology introduced that I flat out hope they retcon out of existence. it completely changes the logistics now of every movie and book post Last Jedi, in a bad way. There's a major reason Lucas specifically avoided it.
Maybe once more people have seen it here I'll go into my major issues with characterization and motivation but there are so many bad ironies too. It's just a mess. And this is mostly just from a movie stand point. From a nerdy "Star Wars" standpoint, ugh.
Like I love the prequels, warts and all. Really truly do. Loved all 8 previous movies to death. This was... this was something. Not good.
There's even a brand new technology introduced that I flat out hope they retcon out of existence. it completely changes the logistics now of every movie and book post Last Jedi, in a bad way. There's a major reason Lucas specifically avoided it.
Thank you for your review as well!
It's striking how much your and civver's summaries have in common. I'm now prepared to be let down. Yet I'm still going to see it in the theater.Well if I'm as disappointed as I think I will be then this will be the last one I see in theaters. Tickets are too expensive these days to see things on a whim and it seems like Star Wars is turning into another superhero franchise that I have no interest in seeing.
I totally agree with everything you said. I think our reviews were very similar, and it was great to hear my thoughts expressed in another's words. I had a hard time expressing exactly what was wrong with last jedi so I appreciate another point of view.
Regarding this tech though what are you referring to? Spoiler your reply for the others I guess.
Spoiler :Is it the tracking through hyperspace tech?
Spoiler :Dear lord I forgot about that. That was a really contrived plot point! I was actually thinking the pervasive cloaking. Like this changes potentially the entire nature of space battles in all future movies. Star Wars is more Top Gun and Star Trek is more naval battles partly because of this. The former is fast and silly, the latter you can hide and can't do rolls and stuff and you just pull up alongside and blast away. If everyone and everything can have cloaking now that's a huge, huge deal.
I read a review in the Atlantic that said it was possibly the best Star Wars film since Empire. I was skeptical that I would see eye-to-eye with the reviewer on that. I didn't like TFA much, but the deciding factor for me to not see the sequel(s) was Han's death, he was the main thing I liked in TFA.
It's the old EU headcanon for me.
Gotcha.
Spoiler :
I had thought you might be referring to that but I seem to remember cloaking in previous star wars movies, it just wasn't this pervasive. Like I thought darth maul's ship cloaked or something. Also in heir to the empire book series thrawn goes to an empire cache of tech to steal a cloaking device and uses it to attack republic shipyards to great effect. But yes it was seen as this super specialized, hard to reproduce tech.
Well if you don't like the original star was cus you find them cheesy or the plot too much good vs evil, too black and white good guys vs bad guys fighting stuff which is what new hope and force awakens epitomize, then you might like this better. It's a big departure from that. Which is why so many people loved rogue one I think, except that rogue one had a proper tone and well written dialogue.
No, no, no, watch it first. It's not a perfect film (there really were too many jokes, too often) but you shouldn't let yourself be driven away by one or two bad reviews on an Internet forum.It's striking how much your and civver's summaries have in common. I'm now prepared to be let down. Yet I'm still going to see it in the theater.