The Llamast Jokes Thread... 3

[Lohrenswald]

is alka seltzer like a type of cracker or

 

[Arakhor]

No, it is not. A ten-second search would have told you that.

 

[Lohrenswald]

or I could ask a person that knows

 

[Timsup2nothin]

Alka Seltzer produces a froth when exposed to water. I have no idea what would happen if you introduced it to saliva.

Since it is basically a super powered desiccant I suspect that an alka-seltzer tablet could absorb all the liquid in your mouth without even getting started. Dry mouth to the point of cracking membranes wouldn't surprise me. Once the bleeding got going good it would probably dissolve though.

 

[rah]

But But, in the movies it always seems to generate a good froth that has simulated many life threatening issues.
So it has to work.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

 

[caketastydelish]

Why are humans the only species in the animal kingdom with a gay rights movement?

Spoiler :

Because we are homo-sapiens.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

A - How much to get a singing ensemble?

B - You mean a choir.

A - Fine. How much to acquire a singing ensemble?

 

[Uncle Sparky]

I saw a chameleon today, so I guess it wasn't a very good chameleon...

 

[Uncle Sparky]

Psychic buying clothes

Psychic: That shirt is too small.

Clerk: But you didn't even try it on.

Psychic: I am a medium.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

The best way to keep milk from turning sour... keep it in the cow.

 

[cardgame]

Scientists: Math is a universal language

India: 60,00,000

 

[old_andy]

A woman's menstrual cycle is nothing to laugh at, period



I have a constant ringing in my ears, but then I probably shouldn't wear ear rings

 

[Uncle Sparky]

Ignorance of the law... does not prevent the losing lawyers from collecting their bill.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

What Orwell failed to predict is we would buy the cameras ourselves, and our greatest fear would be that nobody was watching.

 

[old_andy]

Didn't Huxley kinda predict it though?

 

[Uncle Sparky]

I stopped at a roadside stand with a sign that said "Lobster Tales - $2". I paid the man $2 and he said, "Once upon a time there was a lobster..."

 

[old_andy]

I told my wife she'd look sexier with her hair back..







..which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

My housemates are convinced our house is haunted... I've lived here 159 years, and haven't noticed anything strange.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

Before the invention of the crowbar, crows had to do all their drinking at home.