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The Llamast Jokes Thread... 3

Discussion in 'Humor & Jokes' started by Uncle Sparky, Dec 31, 2017.

  1. Lohrenswald

    Lohrenswald 老仁森林

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    is alka seltzer like a type of cracker or
     
  2. Arakhor

    Arakhor Dremora Courtier Moderator

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    No, it is not. A ten-second search would have told you that.
     
  3. Lohrenswald

    Lohrenswald 老仁森林

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    or I could ask a person that knows
     
  4. Timsup2nothin

    Timsup2nothin Quad B

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    Since it is basically a super powered desiccant I suspect that an alka-seltzer tablet could absorb all the liquid in your mouth without even getting started. Dry mouth to the point of cracking membranes wouldn't surprise me. Once the bleeding got going good it would probably dissolve though.
     
  5. rah

    rah Deity Supporter

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    But But, in the movies it always seems to generate a good froth that has simulated many life threatening issues. ;)
    So it has to work.
     
  6. Uncle Sparky

    Uncle Sparky Pheasant Plucker

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  7. caketastydelish

    caketastydelish By any means necessary

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    Why are humans the only species in the animal kingdom with a gay rights movement?

    Spoiler :
    Because we are homo-sapiens.
     
  8. Uncle Sparky

    Uncle Sparky Pheasant Plucker

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    A - How much to get a singing ensemble?

    B - You mean a choir.

    A - Fine. How much to acquire a singing ensemble?
     
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  9. Uncle Sparky

    Uncle Sparky Pheasant Plucker

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    I saw a chameleon today, so I guess it wasn't a very good chameleon...
     
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  10. Uncle Sparky

    Uncle Sparky Pheasant Plucker

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    Psychic buying clothes

    Psychic: That shirt is too small.

    Clerk: But you didn't even try it on.

    Psychic: I am a medium.
     
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  11. Uncle Sparky

    Uncle Sparky Pheasant Plucker

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    The best way to keep milk from turning sour... keep it in the cow.
     
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  12. cardgame

    cardgame Sensual Kitten

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    Scientists: Math is a universal language

    India: 60,00,000
     
  13. old_andy

    old_andy Chieftain

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    A woman's menstrual cycle is nothing to laugh at, period



    I have a constant ringing in my ears, but then I probably shouldn't wear ear rings
     
  14. Uncle Sparky

    Uncle Sparky Pheasant Plucker

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    Ignorance of the law... does not prevent the losing lawyers from collecting their bill.
     
  15. Uncle Sparky

    Uncle Sparky Pheasant Plucker

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    What Orwell failed to predict is we would buy the cameras ourselves, and our greatest fear would be that nobody was watching.
     
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  16. old_andy

    old_andy Chieftain

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    Didn't Huxley kinda predict it though?
     
  17. Uncle Sparky

    Uncle Sparky Pheasant Plucker

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    I stopped at a roadside stand with a sign that said "Lobster Tales - $2". I paid the man $2 and he said, "Once upon a time there was a lobster..."
     
  18. old_andy

    old_andy Chieftain

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    I told my wife she'd look sexier with her hair back..







    ..which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient.
     
  19. Uncle Sparky

    Uncle Sparky Pheasant Plucker

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    My housemates are convinced our house is haunted... I've lived here 159 years, and haven't noticed anything strange.
     
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  20. Uncle Sparky

    Uncle Sparky Pheasant Plucker

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    Before the invention of the crowbar, crows had to do all their drinking at home.
     
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