Discussion in 'Humor & Jokes' started by Uncle Sparky, Dec 31, 2017.
is alka seltzer like a type of cracker or
No, it is not. A ten-second search would have told you that.
or I could ask a person that knows
Since it is basically a super powered desiccant I suspect that an alka-seltzer tablet could absorb all the liquid in your mouth without even getting started. Dry mouth to the point of cracking membranes wouldn't surprise me. Once the bleeding got going good it would probably dissolve though.
But But, in the movies it always seems to generate a good froth that has simulated many life threatening issues.
So it has to work.
Why are humans the only species in the animal kingdom with a gay rights movement?
Because we are homo-sapiens.
A - How much to get a singing ensemble?
B - You mean a choir.
A - Fine. How much to acquire a singing ensemble?
I saw a chameleon today, so I guess it wasn't a very good chameleon...
Psychic buying clothes
Psychic: That shirt is too small.
Clerk: But you didn't even try it on.
Psychic: I am a medium.
The best way to keep milk from turning sour... keep it in the cow.
Scientists: Math is a universal language
A woman's menstrual cycle is nothing to laugh at, period
I have a constant ringing in my ears, but then I probably shouldn't wear ear rings
Ignorance of the law... does not prevent the losing lawyers from collecting their bill.
What Orwell failed to predict is we would buy the cameras ourselves, and our greatest fear would be that nobody was watching.
Didn't Huxley kinda predict it though?
I stopped at a roadside stand with a sign that said "Lobster Tales - $2". I paid the man $2 and he said, "Once upon a time there was a lobster..."
I told my wife she'd look sexier with her hair back..
..which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient.
My housemates are convinced our house is haunted... I've lived here 159 years, and haven't noticed anything strange.
Before the invention of the crowbar, crows had to do all their drinking at home.
Separate names with a comma.