The Rules of Being a Man

[C~G]

I guess some people take things a bit too seriously.

Sorry, should have added a smilie but then again I thought you were actually serious.

But I agree with Bozo.

EDIT: Again forgot the smilie.

 

[Bozo Erectus]

You are wrong about c). It's also okay to cry if you're doing it in front of a woman and you want her to think you're all sensitive and stuff. Basicly, crying for love, or even just to get laid, I say is a-o-k.

Agreed. And thanks. That's going in!

Would Clint Eastwood, John Wayne, or Sean Connery cry for sex?

 

[downtown]

The next guy who makes a post saying "REAL MEN DONT FOLLOW RULES" needs to get a kick in the head by a real man

 

[Rossiya]

i thought that nearly all those rules/guidelines were quite accurate.

 

[Rambuchan]

Would Clint Eastwood, John Wayne, or Sean Connery cry for sex?

OMG. You obviously don't know your Bond films.

Do you not remember that classic scene in "You Only Live Twice" (one of Connery's finest)? Let me recall it for you...

Bond is in Japan. He's bedded his co-agent. They lie in each others' arms, moonlight falling through the wooden window slats. But a shadow moves. Above them stalks a ninja. An assassin to end Bond's sensual tryst. Sent to end his life itself.

The ninja uncoils a silken thread and reveals a small glass vial. Its viscous contents glisten in the pale light and the sleeping belle in Bond's arms stirs below. Oh so gently. The ninja lowers the thread towards Bond's lips. He tips the vial and the liquid races down the thread, like a snake. Bond seems unaware that his death approaches. But, at the last moment, he wakes up. Sees the ninja. The ninja sees him. And Bond howls: "Ahhahahaha!! The ninja's scaring me! I want my mommy!!"

At this the seductive co-agent wakes up, sees the ninja, reaches for the blade under her pillow and flicks it deftly into the ninjas throat. As Bond wails away, the ninja falls to his death in the courtyard below. When calm reigns again, the covert maiden dries Bond's weeping eyes, feels empathy for her beloved little puppy and beds him instantly in a heated, furious rage of sympathy.

 

[IglooDame]

Would Clint Eastwood, John Wayne, or Sean Connery cry for sex?

No, they'd get sex by making other men cry. Or something.

 

[Bozo Erectus]

Bah! Connery would just smother the ninja in his chest hair.

 

[Whomp]

RULE 18 ~ Real Men do not wear shoulder pads, especially when playing FOOTball.


Again this speaks for itself.

Rule 18 will never be recognized as a rule by the Monsters of the Midway Chicago contingent of real men.

Whether it's Australian rules football, Canadian rules football, European head butting gets a red card football or the U.S "Bronco Nagurski is a great football name and you get a 15 yard penalty for a head butt" football.
The Chicago contingent of real men proposes "football is football and real men play it and watch it".


I would like to propose to the rules committee another rule.
It's a fact that women use 20,000 words a day and men use 7,000 words.
Any man who uses 20,000 words a day is likely a girly man or a politician hence not a real man. Real men choose their words carefully. The only exception to this rule is if the man's life would depend on it.

 

[Veritass]

When you are at that chick movie, or when your girl is telling you something very poignant, turn away slightly and pull out a couple of nose hairs. This will make your eyes water slightly, and the girl will think you are very sensitive. Every girl knows that sensitive men make better lovers.

 

[mrtn]

When you are at that chick movie, or when your girl is telling you something very poignant, turn away slightly and pull out a couple of nose hairs. This will make your eyes water slightly, and the girl will think you are very sensitive. Every girl knows that sensitive men make better lovers.

Eh, I usually sneeze when I pull out nose hairs.
Anyone here sneezed to get laid?

 

[Dann]

You are wrong about c). It's also okay to cry if you're doing it in front of a woman and you want her to think you're all sensitive and stuff. Basicly, crying for love, or even just to get laid, I say is a-o-k.

That is just..... wrong. It's one thing to pretend to be sensitive and sniffle along while she's crying her heart out while you two are watching some mushy girly movie, it's another deal if you're crying ang begging to get laid. That spells "girlie wuss" so loud it's guaranteed that she'll ditch you.

No, they'd get sex by making other men cry. Or something.

Damn right. And sometimes by making the woman cry too. Or something.

 

[greenpeace]

lmbo, that was funny, honestly I never thought about being macho in my entire life. For example, one guy kept elbowing me so instead of getting all tough about it I simply said " ok fine, I'll make you happy, but you come to my house and it has to be at 7pm, deal?." I like solving problems like that, because
1. no one gets harmed
2. I don't start a scene
3. I get to deal with it my wat, that is the pacifist's way.
4. cause it's funny
Other guys sometimes call me gay but I never take offense (that would not only insult gays, but also make me look like an idiot) I simply say something like
"wanna test that hypothesis." Its so funny to see their facial expressions!!! . Ironically, many females like that I'm not manly and say that they like that I don't break out into fights and stuff like that. I personally don't really care, cause I know I'm still an idiot and if I did then it would be machoish. Some of the main resons I intend not to be macho is:
1. its very sexist
2. it distracts me from more important things like academics and CFC
3. It completly contradicts my personality
4. It isn't exactly (in other words its not at all) a trait that a Buddhists like myself relish
5. who cares, that your even more an idot than I am (although I will admit that is a very hard thing to accomplish)
anyway, I would like to make a shout out,
[spam] RAM IS COOL!!! [/spam]

 

[Perfection]

See this is why you get the role of "biatch" on road trips.

 

[greenpeace]

See this is why you get the role of "biatch" on road trips.

lol, in a car with a guy trying to make his car chase with a ferrari, I probably would be less of a "biatch" and more like a guy trying to save his (and others) life.

 

[Bartleby]

Real men don't follow rules.




I'm waiting.

 

[Perfection]

Real men don't follow rules.

They don't follow rules explicitly it's just that thier actions tend to work according to the rules.

 

[Bartleby]

And here I was expecting kick from a real man.

 

[JoeM]

No, they'd get sex by making other men cry. Or something.

Eh, I usually sneeze when I pull out nose hairs.
Anyone here sneezed to get laid?

If 'Fist Full Of Dollars' is anything to go by, and of course it is, before you take that girl to the cinema, be sure to gun her husband down in cold blood, let her do the crying.

In fact, skip the cinema bit.

 

[Eukaryote]

That is just..... wrong. It's one thing to pretend to be sensitive and sniffle along while she's crying her heart out while you two are watching some mushy girly movie, it's another deal if you're crying ang begging to get laid. That spells "girlie wuss" so loud it's guaranteed that she'll ditch you.

That's not exactly what I ment Dann. You silly goose! I ment you should try to cry during mushy movies and stuff, or when she telling you a sad story. Might be the thing that secures you a second date after all.

 

[Dann]

You should know by now that anything you say in this thread can and will be misinterpreted to serve a higher purpose.

"Secure a second date"? Hah! With real men it's the female who should worry whether the man wants to see her again or not.