The Rules of Being a Man

[GinandTonic]

Agreed. But this scenario is impossible because you'll never agree to go to any social gathering in the first place when you're broke.

Few things better than being invited to some sort of really posh social event when you are broke. A posh wedding or party or whatever doesnt expect you to bring money, just be charming. Make someones great-aunt laugh as the champaign flows...

But generally speaking you have a point.

 

[JoeM]

A real man is generous, but this isnt limited to money. If a person is needs money, be generous with it. If a person needs time, be generous with it. If a person needs support, help, a shoulder to cry on, whatever - be generous. Insisting on paying for all of dinner when the other person (of whatever gender) is loaded and you are broke isnt generosity but foolish egocentric pride.

Pffffft!!! <splutter> <splutter> Now look what you've done, there's beer everywhere! Have I stumbled into the thread on rules on how to be a complete nancy?

May I suggest that you take your collection of guns into the bush and shoot animals until you've got it out of your system?
Replace the first emboldened with merciless and the second with a bullet in the head and return to manliness.

For shame...

 

[Brighteye]

I'll back that one up, I've dogmatically paid for the first round for years and doubt that I've lived down that sordid past yet. Not even sure how I got the rep. Especially after shelling out £120 on drinks in one particular night out with just one friend.

What are alligator arms in this context?

 

[GinandTonic]

Pffffft!!! <splutter> <splutter> Now look what you've done, there's beer everywhere! Have I stumbled into the thread on rules on how to be a complete nancy?

You would withold your shoulder from a crying woman? No kind of gent...

As for a crying man, so long as he is crying in acordance with rule 9 and rule 4 is observed, its fine.

 

[Brighteye]

A crying woman has women-friends for shoulders. The man's way to deal with it is to leave her to get over it, and meanwhile do something else.

 

[Rambuchan]

I don't get it. Are you saying because someone wears equipment they're not real men? Even though the player has destroyed a man's will to do a 10 yard crossing route for fear of having his head lopped off?

Instead you'll allow the melodrama of a get carried off on a stretcher, red card pulled because of a pseudo head butt dive play?

That's simply bad football etiquette on a global scale.

I have issues with the nancies that go lolling about the soccer football pitch, looking for oscars, just as much as I have issues with ponces that go prancing about the american football pitch, with shoulderpads on.

Like PrinceOfLeigh, I'm viewing this from a Rugby Football perspective, and you find none of this in such a game. Those guys destory both a man's will - and a man - with the aid of no equipment and no thespian awards.

 

[GinandTonic]

A crying woman has women-friends for shoulders. The man's way to deal with it is to leave her to get over it, and meanwhile do something else.

Obviously shedule in women-friends asap and upon thier arrival go to the pub. In the meantime you have to fill the gap.

Woman - God, Ive just found out my mother died! *Collapses crying*
Man - Well, Ill be in the Rose and Crown when youve pulled yourself togeather and made dinner. *Steps over destrought woman to door*

This is not the action of a man.

 

[PrinceOfLeigh]

I wouldn't want to disclude the Association Footballers from gaining Real Man status. Participation in that game is better than nothing i suppose. Obviously it is not as closely linked to War as Rugby or Aussie Football, but there are some who deserve Real Man Status.

Perhaps an express provision determining that the behaviour of the Soccer player should be reviewed and a decision taken rather than granting them arbitrary 'Real Man' Status?

Obviously shedule in women-friends asap and upon thier arrival go to the pub. In the meantime you have to fill the gap.

Woman - God, Ive just found out my mother died! *Collapses crying*
Man - Well, Ill be in the Rose and Crown when youve pulled yourself togeather and made dinner. *Steps over destrought woman to door*

This is not the action of a man.

Although it would take some guts to do it. I'd never sleep within stabbing distance of that woman again.

 

[Winston Khan]

I wouldn't want to disclude the Association Footballers from gaining Real Man status. Participation in that game is better than nothing i suppose. Obviously it is not as closely linked to War as Rugby or Aussie Football, but there are some who deserve Real Man Status.
Perhaps an express provision determining that the behaviour of the Soccer player should be reviewed and a decision taken rather than granting them arbitrary 'Real Man' Status?
Although it would take some guts to do it. I'd never sleep within stabbing distance of that woman again.

There are some very contentious issues here chaps, firstly Amercian Football is for big girls that like to drop soap in the shower to see what they find pertruding from an unseen orafice . Fancy wearing shoulder pads and leg braces in order to play a sport? This cannot be right, real men take pain with gusto, it is our birthright; not try to protect themselves from the impact of sport.

Taking Rugby as a prime example, do you see Lawrence D'lalligio (However its spelt) wearing some kinda sports bra protect himself, no, he throws himself, hard into every challenge he has to make to win the game. And they rarely stop playing for a constant 80 minutes, not sharing a 'gatorade' on the touch line for 5 minutes while the referees decide who touched 'his helmet' in a dodgy way....

Real Men don't play American Football, its just gay.

Soccer is not a gay sport, it is however; fairies that play it professionally these days.

 

[Whomp]

To question their manlinhood smacks of anti-realmanamericanism. Woo hits ,as Ronnie Lott would say, is when you separate a man from his soul. This is the norm.

I've never questioned the toughness of rugby player or Aussie rules football. Both are tough, our football players are simply bigger, faster and as violent. This equals more pain. It's what we do. We're a violent people. But hey, they're all crazy when you think about it. So here's to rugby AND association football!

Pain train...
http://youtube.com/watch?v=JIcrFmU34KQ

 

[Bigfoot]

Good one Whomp!

When I was a kid we used to play tackle football (without any pads) on a dirt field. Our mothers were all horrified because we would regularly come home bruised and bloodied (but oh so manly!). If I am not mistaken the practice of wearing helmets and pads developed due to public outcry over the number of serious injuries (and in some cases, deaths) that used to occur. Even with pads American football is plenty rugged, and certainly qualifies as a 'manly' pasttime. For our friends who think otherwise, all I can say is try it sometime. And be prepared for some serious pain.

Regarding coffee, I agree that manliness is proportional to the strength of the beverage being consumed. Espresso and Turkish coffee are definitely macho, and at a minimum it should be taken black and strong. The latte and frappe crowd may as well dress up in Disney costumes and belt out showtunes...

 

[Rossiya]

Soccer is not a gay sport, it is however; fairies that play it professionally these days.

Cough Cristiano Ronaldo.

Ewww, I hurt myself wefewee. Give him an ickle wed card.

 

[Irish Caesar]

Perhaps a whole new rule regarding the 'Real Man' participation of Poker and his behaviour whilst so doing?

Men play poker with a stone face. No emotion at all.

The amount of betting does not really matter, as a Man's pride is worth more than any amount of chips. Men play for pride--but they must have some actual financial investment in the game.

 

[Rossiya]

Men do all the chasing after women. It's not that men like doing it, it's just that women demand it.

 

[Civrules]

Men do all the chasing after women. It's not that men like doing it, it's just that women demand it.

I can't emphasis how wrong this observation is, with all respect.

That's another topic though for another forum. After taking psychology and studying how attraction between guys and girls works for months (which isn't a long time), there are some revelations which are priceless.
Especially for "nice guys."

Everything in a vague nutshell:
Have the mindset that the guy (you) is always the prize.
Being called a "nice guy" is NOT a compliment. =)

 

[Taliesin]

Might it perhaps be acceptable to eat quiche, if you call it "scrambled-egg pie" and vigorously pour brown sauce on it?

 

[Rossiya]

Might it perhaps be acceptable to eat quiche, if you call it "scrambled-egg pie" and vigorously pour brown sauce on it?

Don't forget the over-exagerrated amounts of salt smothered all over it.

 

[Irish Caesar]

Might it perhaps be acceptable to eat quiche, if you call it "scrambled-egg pie" and vigorously pour brown sauce on it?

If there is steak in it, you could convince others that it is a steak-and-egg sandwich.

But deep down, you know in your heart that it is really quiche.

 

[Bigfoot]

If you drown it in enough 'Kick Yo Ass' hot sauce you might get away with it.

 

[Rossiya]

If you drown it in enough 'Kick Yo Ass' hot sauce you might get away with it.

That or "Your mum" will do.