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The Russians are coming!!! ...to Earth 18 Civs

Discussion in 'Civ4 - Stories & Tales' started by brandon.herren, Oct 29, 2011.

  1. Dumanios

    Dumanios MLG

    Joined:
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    4,882
    So Peter, Catherine, Ivan IV, Alexander II, Nicholas II, Lenin, Stalin, Gorbachev, and Putin are leading Russia at the same time.

    Nice. Let's throw Mendeleev, Yaroslav, and Kruschev in there.
     
  2. Pommes Mit Mayo

    Pommes Mit Mayo Chieftain

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    Germany
    It's really fun to read!
    All that russian leaders are goddamn crazy! (in a good way) :D
     
  3. Princeof Persia

    Princeof Persia Emperor

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    Washington D.C.
  4. Tycho

    Tycho AFK Forum Warrior

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    That's what makes this interesting and funny to read! :)
     
  5. brandon.herren

    brandon.herren NorthKorea Waterbottles:)

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  6. christos200

    christos200 Never tell me the odds

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    Take over mongolia or germany next.
     
  7. brandon.herren

    brandon.herren NorthKorea Waterbottles:)

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    Update :)

    Catherine: We founded another city! Anyone want to guess the name...
    Peter: Peter is awesome city!
    Lenin: Leningrad!
    Stalin: Stalingrad!
    Catherine: Nope! Novograd!
    Lenin: How come I'm not in charge of naming cities...
    Nicholas II: Because every city would be named after you...
    Lenin: Exactly! At least some people see my logic
    Peter: Logic... Sure... Let's go with that!
    Gorbachev: We just discovered Bronze Working. Should we go to slavery...
    Peter: Well... Maybe we should try to be historically accurate...
    Catherine: I vote NO
    Stalin: SLAVERY FTW!!!!!
    Lenin: I second that
    Ivan: I don't see why not...
    Putin: Sure!
    Catherine: Great... All of the violent idiots voted for it...
    Alexander II: I'm against it!
    Peter: Me too!
    Nicholas II: Nope, trust me, those slave revolts can be rough...
    Peter: No
    Gorbachev: No!
    Catherine: Once again the violent psychopaths were defeated!
    Lenin: And I thought we had a chance that time...

    *Saladin enters*

    Saladin: Greetings, barbaric crusaders, we have come to offer an open borders agreement
    Catherine: Accepted, I apologize for Lenin and Peter's behavior.
    Saladin: Great

    *Saladin leaves*

    Peter: Once again! What did I do! Didn't I vote for your side earlier...
    Lenin: ...So, enlightening him on crusades earlier and voting for slavery, was a bad thing... I refuse to believe it!
    Catherine: He's in denial...
    Peter: Seriously though, what did I do...
    Catherine: Time to vote again on who to attack!
    Catherine: I vote France!
    Peter: I just noticed that whoever you vote for always wins...
    Catherine: Naturally...
    Peter: I vote for Germany
    Gorbachev: I vote France!
    Nicholas II: I vote Arabia!
    Alexander II: I vote France
    Lenin: All Anti-CRUSADERS!!!!
    Catherine: That's your vote?
    Lenin: Yeah!
    Stalin: Germany
    Putin: America...
    Catherine: Didn't I tell you before, we haven't met them yet!
    Ivan: Mongolia
    Catherine: France wins!

    *Hatshepsut enters*

    Hatshepsut: Surely the gods have smiled upon you! For they have led you to me :D
    Ivan: Technically the gods led you to us...
    Lenin: Do you like WAR!
    Catherine: Stop scaring her! It's about time another female leader came...
    Hatshepsut: I know, all of those male leaders are crazy...
    Stalin: Lies!
    Putin: Yeah! I'm the only one who isn't!
    Hatshepsut: Ok... Want open borders?
    Catherine: Sure!
    Hatshepsut: Ok then

    *Hatshepsut leaves*

    *Elizabeth enters*

    Elizabeth: I'm Elizabeth, leader of the English Empire!
    Putin: Any chance you've met America yet...
    Elizabeth: No...
    Putin: They must be destroyed!

    *Elizabeth leaves*

    Catherine: Oh great! Yet again we scare off poor leaders...
    Gorbachev: Yeah... Putin, you should have known that the UK and America are allies...
    Catherine: From now on, all communists are banned from talking to leaders! ...That includes you Putin! Don't even try to pretend your a democratic supporter...
    Peter: Anyways, since were declaring war on France, Louis should be here in 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...

    *Louis XIV enters*

    Louis: Hi Russians!
    Peter: I was right! Why did you come here at this exact moment?
    Louis: I had this strange feeling...
    Peter: Weird... Anyways, we declare WAR!
    Louis: So that is what that feeling means...
    Peter: Pretty much, yeah

    *Louis XIV leaves*

    *Isabella enters*

    Isabella: CONVERT to BUDDHISM!
    Catherine: Uh... No...
    Isabella: I HATE you!

    *Isabella leaves*

    Peter: Well, that was peculiar
    Catherine: It's your fault anyway...
    Peter: Am I always to blame...
    Everyone else: Yeah!

    Battle of Paris: 4 Russian Chariots vs 2 French Warriors :lol:

    Russian Chariot 3 vs French Warrior 1
    Combat Odds: 78.3%
    Loss :eek:

    Russian Chariot 4 vs French Warrior 2
    Combat Odds: 79.5%
    Victory!

    Russian Chariot 1 vs French Warrior 1
    Combat Odds: 99.6%
    Victory!

    The Russian Empire captures Paris!

    Lenin: SEE! Crusades always win!
    Catherine: I'm about to beat up Lenin. Any objections...

    *complete silence...*

    Lenin: Uh....
     

    Attached Files:

  8. christos200

    christos200 Never tell me the odds

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    great update.
     
  9. brandon.herren

    brandon.herren NorthKorea Waterbottles:)

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    Thank you. Unfortunately, I think that update was my last chariot-based attack :(
     
  10. Optical

    Optical The Fall of the Eleventh

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    :lol: Another great update! :)
     
  11. brandon.herren

    brandon.herren NorthKorea Waterbottles:)

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    Thanks! BTW, I'm considering creating yet another story soon...
    Hmmm... Quadruple updates??? :crazyeye: Then again, probably not...
     
  12. Optical

    Optical The Fall of the Eleventh

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    Help me. I don't know where I am.
    I've tried doing two at a time and don't recommend even that for the sake of maintaining one's sanity :wallbash:
     
  13. hoplitejoe

    hoplitejoe Top fun-poster

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    I struggle with one :p
     
  14. brandon.herren

    brandon.herren NorthKorea Waterbottles:)

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    I was wrong :)
     
  15. brandon.herren

    brandon.herren NorthKorea Waterbottles:)

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    Update #2 of the Day! Another civ is destoyed :)

    Peter: I think you went a little too far with Lenin...
    Catherine: Jeez, it was just a flesh wound...
    Gorbachev: the doctor said half of his bones were broken...
    Catherine: Well... He deserved it... And he'll never say the word 'crusade' for the rest of his life
    Ivan: ...which is comparatively shorter after your beating...

    *Alexander II enters*

    Stalin: Where were you?
    Alexander II: I was at the hospital... At least some of us care!
    Catherine: Shut up! I'm actually starting to feel bad!
    Gorbachev: You did ruin his dreams. He'll never lead a crusade in his lifetime...
    Catherine: All right, anyone who says another word about this will end up in Lenin's position...

    *complete silence*

    Catherine: That's better! Now we need to vote on what to research. I vote Iron Working!
    Stalin: Metal Casting!
    Gorbachev: Iron Working!
    Peter: Meditation!
    Ivan: Metal Casting!
    Putin: Iron Working
    Nicholas II: Iron Working
    Catherine: Iron Working wins!
    Catherine: Now, who to attack... I vote Isabella! Oh forget it, I'm going to use my new power. Vote for Isabella or face my wrath!
    Everyone: Isabella!
    Catherine: scaredy cats...

    *Isabella enters*

    Peter: The pattern continues! We declare war!
    Isabella: The buddhist gods shall guide me forward
    Putin: Atheist Crusade! Let the dreams of Lenin carry on!

    *Isabella leaves*

    Battle of Barcelona: 2 Russian Chariots vs 2 Spanish Warriors
    Victory, 0 losses
    The Russian Empire razes Barcelona

    Battle of Madrid: 3 Russian Chariots vs 2 Spanish Warriors and 1 Spanish Chariot
    1 Chariot lost, Victory
    The Russian Empire captures Madrid (Make sure to look at the 1st screenshot...)

    Ivan: We win!!!!
    Isabella: I have failed the Buddhist gods!
    Putin: Russian atheists always win ;)
     

    Attached Files:

  16. MaxWar

    MaxWar King

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    Rofl This story is total chaos! :lol: ( not implying that its not good in anyway mind you, on the contrary)
    It almost feels like im reading some obscure unreleased play scripts Ionesco wrote when he was High.

    You did read some of Eugène Ionesco's plays did you?
     
  17. hoplitejoe

    hoplitejoe Top fun-poster

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    Welcome to the world of rounding!
     
  18. Tycho

    Tycho AFK Forum Warrior

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    Keeps getting crazy and crazier :lol:
     
  19. Optical

    Optical The Fall of the Eleventh

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    Help me. I don't know where I am.
    :goodjob: Awesome work, yet again :)
     
  20. brandon.herren

    brandon.herren NorthKorea Waterbottles:)

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    Thanks! I may go for the UK next. They never seem to care enough about actually defending London... :D
     

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