The Russians are coming!!! ...to Earth 18 Civs

Well, for an "old" computer, it's actually rather new, Windows 7, which we got in 2009. But of course after 2 years of everyone putting random junk on it, it's become super slow. I've tried many a times to write updates on there, only to have it crash 4 times before I finished.
 
Update!

Delhi Governor: Sir, we have several troops that we can upgrade to Knights!
Lenin: Knights!!!! :D Upgrade them!!!! CRUSADE!!!!
Catherine: NO!!!!! :cry:

Spoiler :


*Cyrus enters*

Cyrus: Persia offers your nasty little civilization Sheep for Wheat
Ivan: It's terrible, not nasty :p
Catherine: It depends on who your talking to, since Lenin is certainly nasty...
Lenin: What does that mean?
Catherine: Epic Crusader....
Lenin: Oh! Well, in that case, I'm the nastiest person in the whole wide world! :smug:
Catherine: :lol: How right you are.... Anyways, we refuse the deal, since it just doesn't seem logical for some reason...

Spoiler :


*Cyrus leaves*

Lenin: Let's attack China!!!!
Catherine: I agree!
Lenin: See, Catherine is getting over her anger issues. She even called me nasty earlier, isn't that nice :)
Nicholas II: Um.... *Catherine glares* ...Sure...
Peter: Right.... I'll agree
Ivan: I agree
Putin: I agree
Gorbachev: I agree...
Peter: What? No evil plan this time :p
Stalin: *Looks up from notes* I agree!
Peter: What are you writing?
Stalin: Oh, just something called the 5 year plan, nothing important.... :satan:

Spoiler :


Peter: We should also upgrade our legal system.
Lenin: What's the need, our legal system is super advanced according to the cool chart thingy
Catherine: Yeah Peter! Isn't that obvious :p

Spoiler :


*Cyrus enters*

Cyrus: Once again, we offer your nasty Civilization a deal... of Open Borders
Lenin: Why thank you! :) Your so kind!
Cyrus: What? :confused:
Catherine: Ignore him... We agree!

*Cyrus leaves*

Spoiler :


*Doorbell rings*

Peter: Since when do we have a doorbell????

*Peter opens door, finds box, opens box*

Qin Shi Huang: WHO PUT ME IN THAT BOX!!!! :mad:
Peter: I don't know... WE DECLARE WAR!!!! :D
Qin Shi Huang: :gripe: stupid Airmail.....

Spoiler :


Lenin: Go CRUSADERS!!!!!
Qin Shi Huang: What are those weird units?
Catherine: Just pray that you never have to build one... or hear the C word...

Battle of Nanjing
6 Russian Maceman, 2 Russian Knights, 1 Russian Crossbowmen vs 1 Chinese Archer, 1 Chinese Swordsman, 2 Chinese Axeman
Casualties: 3 Maceman
VICTORY!!!! :woohoo:

Spoiler :


Catherine: We win!!!
Qin Shi Huang: Hate to rain on your parade... But we still have 9 other cities...
Catherine: Spoilsport.... :p
Lenin: Oh well... The CRUSADE SHALL TRIUMPH!!!!! :smug:
Catherine: :aargh:
 
Yup, 9 more cities... That's Qin Shi for ya... Though surprisingly low garrison... Usually he's über powerful. I'd say watch your back in that newly conquered city, cos it's probably all off somewhere else.
 
thecaesar said:
Yup, 9 more cities... That's Qin Shi for ya... Though surprisingly low garrison... Usually he's über powerful. I'd say watch your back in that newly conquered city, cos it's probably all off somewhere else.
Click to expand...

Yeah, I'm just hoping that I can capture Beijing before then, and get them to :bowdown:

MaxWar said:
Wow, everyone is Jewish except Japan ...
Click to expand...

Probably because I destroyed all of the Buddhists :p
 
Sheep for Wheat, Sheep for Wheat... what does Cyrus think he's playing, Settlers of Catan? :p

Great work on the update :)
 
General Olaf said:
Sheep for Wheat, Sheep for Wheat... what does Cyrus thick he's playing, Settlers of Catan? :p

Great work on the update :)
Click to expand...

Thanks. I've actually played that game before. :) Anyways, just finished a 4 hour game, in which by scamming the AI's I was able to get 100 gold per turn for hit singles :D
 
Your order is exactly the same as my Rome conquest on E-18 Civs. That was on noble though. Took Industrialism as my liberalism tech sometime in the 1200-1300s and won with a score of 160000 in 1350-60 something.


Regarding monty, there was a game [E-18 civs] as hatty a lond time ago on cheftain on which I had tanks and he had maces. But he actually[seriously!] had so many that it took me half a century to get through them, even with my blitz tanks.


Anyways, a great story brandon! Complete pandemonium in the Russian Palace/General Secretary's Office/Kremlin
 
brandon.herren said:
Thank you. Yeah, I think Montezuma's policy is: at least 5 units garrisoned in each city, and one huge stack of 100 maceman and jaguars moving around randomly :p Poor Roosevelt can never keep up...
Click to expand...

Lol not many ppl can, when they "waste" all those hammers building infrastructure and development...:rolleyes:
 
*Messenger enters*

Messenger: We built Notre Dame in Moscow
Ivan: *Shudders* Too cultural...
Lenin: I agree!
Catherine: Stupid warmongers... have no sense of culture...

Spoiler :


*Asoka enters*

Asoka: I'm making you a deal you can't refuse...
Gorbachev: Than we refuse, shoo!
Asoka: But!
Gorbachev: Shoo, Vassal!
Asoka: Note to self: Don't capitulate to the Russians...

*Asoka leaves*

Spoiler :


Lenin: Have you noticed all of the angry people gripe way to much... Like Catherine.
Catherine: I'm not angry :mad:
Lenin: Your face says otherwise...
Peter: It's ok, Catherine. We can fix you barbaric anger :p Well... Maybe anyway
Catherine: That's nice coming from a warmonger...
Lenin: Don't worry, your both barbaric
Stalin: I'd have to agree with Lenin!
Catherine: Oh please, communist traitors!
Peter: BTW that tech will never be researched!
Lenin: Oh yeah! Your the real losers than!
Stalin: You'll never know the secrets!
Putin: Long live Communism!!!!!!
Churchill: *facepalm* WHY COULDN'T I HAVE RULED A PEACEFUL NATION!!!!
Nicholas II: I feel your pain
Alexander II: I'm so sick of they're arguing!
Churchill: I have an idea... Come on

*Churchill, Gorbachev, Alexander II, and Nicholas II leave room*

Churchill: *Locks door* Ha we trapped them in the meeting room :D
Nicholas II: Although I doubt they will even notice :p
Gorbachev: Yeah Time to start running the nation. Chaos free

Meanwhile inside the room...

Peter: They locked us in!!!
Catherine: It's all your fault Peter!
Lenin: :aargh: With those softies running the nation, we're doomed!!!!
Peter: *banging on door* LET US OUT!!!!!
*no response*

Peter: Dang it! They must have ditched us.....
Stalin: The Communism God will save us!!! :bowdown:
Lenin: So true. Have faith in the Communism God!!!!
Ivan, Putin, Stalin and Lenin: :bowdown:
Catherine: Idiots! There is no such thing as a communism god!!!
Peter: How will we get out???
Catherine: Just stop being so barbaric!!!!
Peter, Putin, Ivan, Stalin, and Lenin: :bowdown:
Catherine: Why did they trap me in here with these fools!!!

Meanwhile with the others...

*Messenger enters*

Messenger: We built the Hagia Sophia!
Churchill: Great! Improving the :culture: in the Empire!
Lenin's voice: NO!!!! They're ruining our nation!!!

*Qin Shi Huang enters*

Qin: We just took back Nanjing :woohoo: We rock!
Lenin's voice: No!!!! I told you guys not to garrison only one unit!!!!
Qin: Is that Lenin? Where is he?
Nicholas II: We locked them in the Meeting Room.
Qin: About time, I suppose

Spoiler :


Lenin's voice: We'll take it back! CRUSADE!!!!
Catherine's voice: SHUT UP!!!
Churchill: Dang! We should have locked them in the basement instead
Qin: :aargh: Can you guys just attack already! I'm getting a headache...
Churchill: Your just lucky you don't rule with them....

3rd Battle of Nanjing
Spoiler :


Qin: I'm not capitulating
Gorbachev: Don't worry, evil plan #4 will get you to capitulate... :evil:

*Messenger enters*

Messenger: We built the University of Sankore :D
Lenin's voice: :aargh: I'm getting a culture headache!!!!!
Alexander II: :woohoo: That's 3 wonders in 1 Update :D
Lenin's voice: It hurts so bad!!!!
Messenger: Oh, and we got Rifling!
Churchill: Hmm... What to research... getting Frigates or education...Ok, reseach Education now :D
Lenin: *bangs on door* I HATE ALL OF YOU!!! [pissed]

Spoiler :


Alexander II: Time to attack Shanghai!!!! I hear it's a pretty rich city
Qin: You'll never take it!!!

Battle of Shanghai

Spoiler Before :


Spoiler After :


Qin: Fine, I'll capitulate, although I here bad things from Asoka
Churchill: Don't worry, it's not that bad as long as were ruling the country!

Spoiler :


Catherine's voice: Great, you guys won. NOW LET US OUT!!!! :mad:
Lenin's voice: Yeah!!!!
Peter's voice: Please!!!!
Nicholas II: Nah, I think we'll leave you all in there for a while..
Catherine: :aargh: If I stay in here with these idiots for one more minute, I think I'm going to explode!!!!
Alexander II: Too bad, were out to get coffee :p
Catherine: Don't leave me!!! :cry:
 
:lol:, very funny brandon.herren, interested in seeing a lot more!
 
Trolololololo
 
:lol:

What's Churchill doing here? Or is he here because Gorbachev, Alexander II, and Nicholas II aren't enough to stop the warmongers and Catherine?
 
Tycho said:
:lol:, very funny brandon.herren, interested in seeing a lot more!
Click to expand...

Thank you :)

MaxWar said:
If Catherine explodes, maybe it will breach the locked door. :p
Click to expand...

I'm sure Lenin and Peter are hoping for that :p

Dumanios said:
:lol:

What's Churchill doing here? Or is he here because Gorbachev, Alexander II, and Nicholas II aren't enough to stop the warmongers and Catherine?
Click to expand...

Warmongers and Catherine... There isn't that much of a difference... :p Anyways, Gorbachev is normal, as long as he isn't on a evil plan spree :p
 
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