What’s Going on With Teens?

[Lexicus]

Plus, you know, any child found identifying with the freaks in the contemporary United States Republican Party is already a deeply alien and suspect anomaly in and of themselves.

I think people don't fully grasp the truth of this. College Republicans were already inevitably Nazi freaks when I was in school, the cohort in Gen Z that identifies as Republican are going to be even more insane.

edit: anyway @topic it's obvious that covid is the reason for the recent suicide spike.

 

[Valka D'Ur]

The recent increase of girls commiting suicide at all time highs is probably because of the fear of creative professions being eliminated as females tend to be more artistically inclined. Social media is likely designed to mess with the female brain more than men because as you should know social media sites like Facebook were invented by Zuckerberg to rate women in college and pressure them into having sex with the tech bois.

Define "creative professions."

Also to a certain extent most of the people here (being still alive) honestly have not killed themselves. I'm not sure if suicidal thoughts were ever a thing that anyone here ever experienced in one's teens, and it's a bit of a private matter so I wouldn't expect people on a public forum to be so open and forthcoming of their experiences.

Once upon a time when CFC was a vBulletin forum with social groups, we had a Depression Support Group. It was only viewable by the members and staff (invitation-only), and was a safe place to discuss depression and other mental health issues.

Then came the unannounced migration to XenForo and zap! No more group.

3. Less social connectivity. Partly related to two. Watch an 80's movie with BMX. Don't really see kids cycling around that much. Mentioned this to parents and it's "to dangerous". No cycle across town age 7 or 10km cycle down the coast anymore unsupervised.

4. Mollycoddling. Life was kinda harder in sone ways in 80's and 90's easier in others (cheap rent). Eg physical discipline was used at school. Teenagers these days aren't really trained in dealing with life's disappointments. Was the default back then. Had to look after yourselves now it's illegal to be unsupervised under age of 14.

When I see how much supervision the current generation of parents expect to have over their kids, not to mention 10-12 years ago when I was participating on a "lifestyle" site (honestly, the place turned out to be a scam, but it took awhile to realize it; thankfully I didn't lose any actual money, just lots and lots of time)... it's mindcroggling.

I learned to ride a bike at age 9 (actually it was my birthday the day my balance and coordination finally cooperated enough for me to wobble down the street and make it home). From that time on, riding a bike to school was expected, unless I preferred to walk. We were too close to bother with the bus (brisk 15-minute walk), and the only time we were ever driven was about 3 times in the winter of 1972 that was insanely cold and it would have meant frostbite to walk to school. My dad piled about 15 kids (the 3 of us in the house plus various friends from the surrounding close and one family's worth from the next street) into the car (yes, you can fit 4 kids in one front passenger seat, and in the back we were triple-stacked in each others' laps) and took us to school. Thank goodness there were no seatbelt laws back then and no cop ever noticed. It was definitely unsafe and illegal, but at least we made it to school unfrozen.

Just a couple of years ago in the comment section of a CBC.ca article on school buses (a constant political issue in Calgary, the large city about 90 minutes south of me), I learned there are actually parents who think kids should not be allowed to walk to school without their parents until they're at least 14.

My reaction: WTH!

At the school I attended from 1972-74, parents didn't even consider coddling their kid like that. Grade 1 kids were expected to walk with older siblings or another group of kids. Kids older than that were expected to find their own way to school. The odd parent would drive younger ones, particularly in cold weather, but those situations were looked at as the odd ones. Everyone else walked or rode a bike. All of us were younger than 14.

There have been cases where social workers have been called in because a parent let his younger-than-12 kids take city transit by themselves. He quite sensibly asked how they'd ever learn to navigate the transit system alone if they weren't allowed to try? It's not like he didn't know where they intended to go, for how long, and at least one of them always had a phone so they could call for help if needed.

And then the times when social workers and cops have intervened because kids were seen on the street alone, or... GASP! playing in their own front yard without a parent being right there. Apparently watching them from a window wasn't good enough.

Kinda makes me wonder how my generation ever survived. According to modern parents I should have been dead at least 50 times over.

Is religion a more helpful way of dealing with one's struggles with age?

It depends on if you're religious in the first place. It did nothing for my parents as they aged.

Even if my dad had qualified for MAID, there would have been a hard time actually getting it carried through, as he was in a Catholic-run nursing home run by a company that thinks it has the right to do an end-run around the Charter of Rights when it comes to both religious and medical decisions of the residents.

There's a terrible sort of clarity to checking the paper everyday to see which of your friends has died,

Yep. I'm actually surprised that any of my old teachers are still alive, but there are a few that I know of. One of them is in one of the political groups I'm part of on FB. Another is long-retired, but still active in local politics; he's the one who - back in 1974 - decided that our social studies class wasn't too young to learn about politics. In the decades since then, many of us from that class have maintained an interest in politics and voting. He was one of the best teachers I ever had.

 

[Zardnaar]

Define "creative professions."



Once upon a time when CFC was a vBulletin forum with social groups, we had a Depression Support Group. It was only viewable by the members and staff (invitation-only), and was a safe place to discuss depression and other mental health issues.

Then came the unannounced migration to XenForo and zap! No more group.



When I see how much supervision the current generation of parents expect to have over their kids, not to mention 10-12 years ago when I was participating on a "lifestyle" site (honestly, the place turned out to be a scam, but it took awhile to realize it; thankfully I didn't lose any actual money, just lots and lots of time)... it's mindcroggling.

I learned to ride a bike at age 9 (actually it was my birthday the day my balance and coordination finally cooperated enough for me to wobble down the street and make it home). From that time on, riding a bike to school was expected, unless I preferred to walk. We were too close to bother with the bus (brisk 15-minute walk), and the only time we were ever driven was about 3 times in the winter of 1972 that was insanely cold and it would have meant frostbite to walk to school. My dad piled about 15 kids (the 3 of us in the house plus various friends from the surrounding close and one family's worth from the next street) into the car (yes, you can fit 4 kids in one front passenger seat, and in the back we were triple-stacked in each others' laps) and took us to school. Thank goodness there were no seatbelt laws back then and no cop ever noticed. It was definitely unsafe and illegal, but at least we made it to school unfrozen.

Just a couple of years ago in the comment section of a CBC.ca article on school buses (a constant political issue in Calgary, the large city about 90 minutes south of me), I learned there are actually parents who think kids should not be allowed to walk to school without their parents until they're at least 14.

My reaction: WTH!

At the school I attended from 1972-74, parents didn't even consider coddling their kid like that. Grade 1 kids were expected to walk with older siblings or another group of kids. Kids older than that were expected to find their own way to school. The odd parent would drive younger ones, particularly in cold weather, but those situations were looked at as the odd ones. Everyone else walked or rode a bike. All of us were younger than 14.

There have been cases where social workers have been called in because a parent let his younger-than-12 kids take city transit by themselves. He quite sensibly asked how they'd ever learn to navigate the transit system alone if they weren't allowed to try? It's not like he didn't know where they intended to go, for how long, and at least one of them always had a phone so they could call for help if needed.

And then the times when social workers and cops have intervened because kids were seen on the street alone, or... GASP! playing in their own front yard without a parent being right there. Apparently watching them from a window wasn't good enough.

Kinda makes me wonder how my generation ever survived. According to modern parents I should have been dead at least 50 times over.



It depends on if you're religious in the first place. It did nothing for my parents as they aged.

Even if my dad had qualified for MAID, there would have been a hard time actually getting it carried through, as he was in a Catholic-run nursing home run by a company that thinks it has the right to do an end-run around the Charter of Rights when it comes to both religious and medical decisions of the residents.



Yep. I'm actually surprised that any of my old teachers are still alive, but there are a few that I know of. One of them is in one of the political groups I'm part of on FB. Another is long-retired, but still active in local politics; he's the one who - back in 1974 - decided that our social studies class wasn't too young to learn about politics. In the decades since then, many of us from that class have maintained an interest in politics and voting. He was one of the best teachers I ever had.

I cant really remember learning to ride a bike. My mother walked me to school a few times around age 5. Once I knew how to get there I was on my own.

Eater 86 (age 7) BMX ride down to harbor and vacation that was 2-3km each way. Parents were still together so pre mid 1988 if my memory is out a year.

Age 10 4-5km ride to intermediate. Same BMX.

I'm not 100% sure but boredom seems to contribute a lot to mental health. One of my friends gad depression. He woukd cone and stay for the weekend and go home 6 weeks later. Kept him busy with D&D, games etc.

Mum kinda adopted the neighbour's kids and baked for them eg scones, cakes, cinnamon wheels.

Turns out my mother and friends Dads collided. She was kinda mother figure, took us to river.

He took us out camping, beaches, forests type stuff and mates dad had caravan.

First broken heart just went swimming at the river ever day.

When we went camping this year myb8 year old nephew stayed sane place we camped in 80's with cubs same river we used to swim in (live 100km away now).

 

[Kyriakos]

I remember learning to ride a bike (also BMX), because it almost led to my death
It was in our family holiday mansion ( ), shared with two other families (siblings of my father), and the yard was where cars would drive up to, since it was built on a steep elevation.
So I was using the bicycle, and my uncle almost hit me with his car.

I also recall that I could not stop pedaling (earlier), out of fear that I'd just fall to the ground along with the bicycle.

 

[Zardnaar]

I remember learning to ride a bike (also BMX), because it almost led to my death
It was in our family holiday mansion ( ), shared with two other families lived (siblings of my father), and the yard was where cars would drive up to, since it was built on a steep elevation.
So I was using the bicycle, and my uncle almost hit me with his car.

I also recall that I could not stop pedaling (earlier), out of fear that I'd just fall to the ground along with the bicycle.

I want afraid learning to ride the bike. The hitting the ground part.....

Nephew can't cycle, tie his shoelaces and he is supposed to be a good swimmer but will barely get in the river and won't swim in the ocean.

One of my jieces is now 14. She's really smart and creative comparatively but clueless in other even as far as 14 year Olds go.

Brother in laws nephews wonder how they're gonna turn out. Ones got anger issues, one brat hit his mother, one seems OK. Age 9-13.

He'll if I even though of hitting my mother the ol strap would have come out.

 

[Kyriakos]

Hm, anyway, you can't know what is going on in the family. Violence is easier to observe, but I suppose the norm is quiet resentment in many problematic families.

 

[Zardnaar]

Hm, anyway, you can't know what it going on in the family. Violence is easier to observe, but I suppose the norm is quiet resentment in many problematic families.

Divorce dad moved to Australia kids blame mum for leaving dad. Kids were to young.

Dad wasnt that nice a person mum has shielded kids from truth. Dad treated mum like hot garbage and that just what we witnessed.

Dad recently got fired in Australia due to his bad behavior. Dad was in management position as well.

 

[Kyriakos]

^My parents divorced too (when I was 11-12).

 

[Valka D'Ur]

^My parents divorced too (when I was 11-12).

I was 8 when mine divorced. Best thing that could have happened. My mother was physically and verbally abusive and my dad got custody. So no more living with my mother, and I eventually got to live with my grandparents (after 2 miserable years with my dad's girlfriend). So it eventually turned out.

Bike riding is one of the few positive things that happened during those 2 years. As for falling and hitting the ground, it's just one of the things that goes with learning how to ride a bike. And that was back before helmets were mandatory. In all the years I rode bikes, I had a few accidents - but the worst injury was a scraped knee and torn pants (when my pant leg got caught in the chain). Oh, and the last bike I had didn't fare well when I tried to ride it and hadn't realized that my dad raised the seat so he could ride it and didn't bother telling me.

family holiday mansion

Just how big was this "holiday mansion"?

Something tells me you wouldn't have liked the 2-3-room cabins we had for holidays. The first one was an A-frame with a main area, a tiny kitchen, and a loft where my grandfather slept (that was before I got over my fear of ladders).

The second was a 2-room cabin on a lake where there wasn't much between us and the train tracks. The crossing was fairly close, so we had to get used to train horns 3 times/night, in addition to however many times during the day. We only spent one summer there before going back to the first place (where my grandfather bought and finished a cabin between the A-frame and our neighbor; that one was downright roomy with a main area, a bedroom, kitchen, and the houseboat that was hauled up on the beach to become yet another room).

None of these cabins had electricity, indoor plumbing, or running water (as the saying went: if you want running water, you have to run and fetch it yourself).

 

[Kyriakos]

The holiday mansion was three identical 2-floor apartments, each with a large living room, kitchen and a small bathroom in the ground floor, and two bedrooms and another bath in the second floor. Each family owned one of them, and they built it as a consortium. The building was one, three doors to either side.
What was more impressive was where it was built; something like 30 meters above the road - with the sea further down.
Though once I almost died when hiking towards the mansion, instead of using the stairway

I think I only once returned there, after the divorce. Not sure if I even stayed.

 

[Valka D'Ur]

The holiday mansion was three identical 2-floor apartments, each with a large living room, kitchen and a small bathroom in the ground floor, and two bedrooms and another bath in the second floor. Each family owned one of them, and they built it as a consortium. The building was one, three doors to either side.
What was more impressive was where it was built; something like 30 meters above the road - with the sea further down.
Though once I almost died when hiking towards the mansion, instead of using the stairway

I think I only once returned there, after the divorce. Not sure if I even stayed.

Oh, so just a shack, then.

I remember one of the years when we had the A-frame cabin and the lake and creek had flooded. This part of the lake had a couple of dozen cabins, mostly 1-2 room ones with an outdoor biffy across the road, and it was on reserve land (not sure which indigenous reserve it was). The road had to be rebuilt, the owners refused to bother, so the cottagers had to get together and do it ourselves. I was about 6 at the time, and remember having to hike in from where the road hadn't flooded.

Other than no road, it was an interesting experience. The pier was partly underwater, so the motorboat was tied to the porch railing, and I could actually sit on the porch railing and fish.

Amazing the stuff kids don't mind. I don't think my teenage self would have enjoyed it as much, though I do recall living in the top section of my uncle's Winnebago for 3 weeks one summer when I was in college and my dad and I were staying with my great-uncle for awhile before heading out to Vancouver Island and Washington state. Give me enough books to read and I'm okay just about anywhere, though nowadays I need electricity and refrigeration

 

[Zardnaar]

^My parents divorced too (when I was 11-12).

Age 10.

 

[Zardnaar]

Oh, so just a shack, then.

I remember one of the years when we had the A-frame cabin and the lake and creek had flooded. This part of the lake had a couple of dozen cabins, mostly 1-2 room ones with an outdoor biffy across the road, and it was on reserve land (not sure which indigenous reserve it was). The road had to be rebuilt, the owners refused to bother, so the cottagers had to get together and do it ourselves. I was about 6 at the time, and remember having to hike in from where the road hadn't flooded.

Other than no road, it was an interesting experience. The pier was partly underwater, so the motorboat was tied to the porch railing, and I could actually sit on the porch railing and fish.

Amazing the stuff kids don't mind. I don't think my teenage self would have enjoyed it as much, though I do recall living in the top section of my uncle's Winnebago for 3 weeks one summer when I was in college and my dad and I were staying with my great-uncle for awhile before heading out to Vancouver Island and Washington state. Give me enough books to read and I'm okay just about anywhere, though nowadays I need electricity and refrigeration

They're called a Bach or crib here. Traditionally no electricity water most of the time even if it's a cistern.

Friends dad had a holiday home at nearby village so they had electricity. More modern ones are more or less the same as any other house.

 

[stfoskey12]

edit: anyway @topic it's obvious that covid is the reason for the recent suicide spike.

But the numbers were going up even before covid.

 

[Joij21]

But the numbers were going up even before covid.

Maybe he means the more recent rise in female suicides.

 

[thetrooper]

Quite simple really. Ask these questions: 1. What is the purpose of life in general? 2. What is the purpose of my life? I bet that the returns are depressing.

 

[TheMeInTeam]

Quite simple really. Ask these questions: 1. What is the purpose of life in general? 2. What is the purpose of my life? I bet that the returns are depressing.

is it though? it's odd that one needs a "purpose" to enjoy life. even making and acting on a purpose requires subjective evaluation, and who is to decide which action(s) are best beyond the person making them?

i don't think an *objective* sense of purpose or meaning is possible, and that definitely doesn't have to lead to being depressed about it.

 

[thetrooper]

it is of course possible to go full Mercury leapfrogging those questions, yes?

 

[Valka D'Ur]

They're called a Bach or crib here. Traditionally no electricity water most of the time even if it's a cistern.

Friends dad had a holiday home at nearby village so they had electricity. More modern ones are more or less the same as any other house.

I'm referring to small cabins of various types located on what were then called Indian reservations. The time we were there was in the 1960s-1970s. By the time of the mid-late '80s, gentrification and modern buildings started appearing all over the lakes where older cabins used to be - on Mara Lake, Shuswap Lake, Okanagan Lake (where two of our cabins were), Kalamalka Lake... it's actually depressing to think about.

There are reserves that to this day have no indoor plumbing or running water. And those aren't casual holiday places where non-indigenous spend a few weeks. Those are year-round places where these people are expected to live. Every time an election rolls around, the party leaders pledge to have all of them fixed, but always fall short.

Nowadays, the places on the lake where cabins were (at least those not on indigenous land) aren't cabins. The land got bought up, the little cabins got knocked down, and what I'd call a mansion got built there. They aren't "cabins" any more.

 

[TheMeInTeam]

it is of course possible to go full Mercury leapfrogging those questions, yes?

now sure what you mean by that. i just don't see how realizing that there's no "objective" sense of meaning or purpose necessarily leads to depression, or is even particularly likely to do so.