What have you learnt from video games?

[Annex]

Ive learned that in combat, you are only able to call in airstrikes if you've killed five enemies without dying.

 

[Alpine Trooper]

Resources exist to be consumed. And consumed they will be, if not by this generation then by some future. By what right does this forgotten
future seek to deny us our birthright? None I say! Let us take what is ours, chew and eat our fill.

I've learned that the Morgans fear what may not be purchased, for a trader cannot comprehend a thing that is priceless.

 

[Leonel]

Crack gives you more action points for shooting

 

[philippe]

if you hear "Get behind me doctor!", be afraid, very afraid.

 

[Dachs]

I've learned that ancient Germany was populated by screaming buxom women who carried daggers everywhere and men who fought like Greeks.

I've learned that you can recover from extremely serious injuries just by eating a sandvich.

I've learned that you can kill somebody by pointing at them and saying "pow".

I've learned that vintage Cadillacs were the most deadly fighters available to Rogue Squadron.

I've learned that tanks are no good against infantry.

I've learned that the battlefields of the second World War had more attack dogs on them than they had humans.

I've learned that the laws of physics do not apply to bullets you shoot if you shoot and move at the same time.

I've learned that armies of 100 infantry are considered rather large.

I've learned that you can jump and shoot a rocket at your feet, and not only will you travel far and high but you will not die on impact.

 

[Ziggy Stardust]

I have learnt that time passes differently not only in a videogame, but it also adjusts the speed at which time goes by in the real world.

Start a game at 22:00. Play for an hour. Look at the clock. 02:00.

 

[Sharwood]

I've learned that vintage Cadillacs were the most deadly fighters available to Rogue Squadron.

I've learned that tanks are no good against infantry.

I've learnt that tanks cannot defeat spearmen. Ever.

 

[silver 2039]

I've learned that pigs can be used as a deadly weapon and when charged against an enemy will promptly explode.

I've learned that looting a National Guard armory with your drugged up friend is actually a strategically sound and intelligent move and will result in great respect among your peers

I've learned cops routinely pay gangbangers visits at their houses to give them mocking missions.

 

[Grisu]

I've learned that if you shovel crap for long enough, you become better at talking

I've learned that most women fight better if they're wearing very revealing leather outfits

I've learned that when you've just died, you're invincible for a few seconds.

I've learned that falling rainbows are deadly to your enemies

I've learned that France is a bloody pain in the butt....always

I've learned that it's pretty futile attacking Lobster with projectile weapons

I've learned that chainsaws never run out of gas (the perfect fallback weapon)

 

[azzaman333]

Even if you're nowhere it, if a spy starts sapping it you're instantly compelled to yell out "Spy sapping mah <insert object>"

No matter how many times the counter terrorists defeat the terrorists, or the terrorists kill the counter terrorists, they'll keep respawning.

 

[LucyDuke]

Jeez. Thats not a Duke Nukem thing anyone would understand. If you want to refer to the Duke, refer to shooting the hookers pole dancing.

Obscure references are way more fun.

I hugely disagree on both counts. Perhaps its a guy thing.

Perhaps it is a guy thing. As a non-guy, I have no innate video game talent, and my video game abilities are acquired, not natural.

(Though I'm sure you would agree that perseverence is also incredibly important in the honing of skills, just as in basically any other activity at all.)

I don't see it as any different from being proud of being good at, say, a sport, or a musical instrument. It takes a certain amount of expertise to beat Captain Falcon with a Jigglypuff, or to put a 7.62 through a Ruskie's head; however applicable or productive that is in real life is subject to debate, but it sure is fun as hell.

Well, yes, I see more productivity in kicking ass at basketball than I do in making it through SMB3 without taking a single hit. But then, productivity is hardly the point of recreation. I'll back off this one.

Although at least I find it an awkward thing to be proud of.

I have learnt that time passes differently not only in a videogame, but it also adjusts the speed at which time goes by in the real world.

Start a game at 22:00. Play for an hour. Look at the clock. 02:00.

 

[pau17]

Diablo 2 was a great vocabulary builder with all those properties on the magical items.

 

[Murky]

It's a lot easier to pretend to be a great hero than to actually be one.

 

[Cheezy the Wiz]

if you hear "Get behind me doctor!", be afraid, very afraid.

I've learned that four-legged jumping eggs can be hazardous to your health.

 

[Nylan]

I've learned that if you can take it, you probably should.

Also, always trade with shady lamp dealers.

 

[Brighteye]

I learned that sheep and bananas are more powerful explosives than dynamite and that a baseball bat or a punch do more damage than a shotgun or a handgun.
I have learned that nations' leaders live for thousands of years (extra incentive to be a politician).
I have learned that even the weakest weapon can destroy thick armour given time.

Most of all, however, I have learned that no-one else ever plays fair. If your opponent is less able, you can be sure that someone in control will have weighted things to make it easier for him.

 

[Gilder]

Mushrooms can make me bigger, and giant turtles have a thing for blondes.

 

[holy king]

i've learnt that you can be a 2 meter tall bald guy with a bar code tatooed on the back of your head and malaysian policemen will still believe you're one of them if you wear a malaysian police uniform.

 

[Cheezy the Wiz]

I've learned Conversational German for the American Soldier:

Ihre papiere, bitte (your papers please).

Verzeihung, aber die hat ihre grenade fergessen!(excuse me, but your forgot your grenade!).

Der Amerikaner hat hundekuchen in der tasche (the American has dog biscuits in his pocket).

Rennt um euer leben, er hat 'ne panzerfaust! (run for your lives, he has a bazooka!)

 

[Smellincoffee]

I've learned that Borg cubes typically have glowing green boxes mounted on the walls that when shot, disable all drones in that area.

I've learned that you can jump from skyscrapers without killing yourself.

I've learned that painkillers can take care of everything -- from being shot to having pieces of shrapnel embedded in your skin.

I've learned that Nazis never run out of attack dogs.

I've also learned that the police can walk past a street filled with dead gangsters and the burned-out remains of their cars without so much blinking an eye -- but will notice if your car moves so much as a millimeter past a red light.