What if Civilization was created by...

[_random_]

^
Probably not, but since it's alive, you might as well post.

 

[Princeps]

Ford: Civilization wont sell because of its high gas consumption.

 

[MrPopov]

Westwood: Workers mine ore hills to build tanks which roll across the battlefield until you build more than the other player and win.

 

[CivCube]

LucasArts: A Civ game tends to be the same every time, but you don't care. It's so entertaining to take a Civ to Act Two and enter the Insult Sword-Fighting contest again.

TellTale Games: At long last, a new Civ is released after being cancelled by LucasArts. Everyone else is loving it, but you're not sure if you like it. Ten dollars for a two-hour scenario?

Cyan Worlds: The last "real" Civ was ten years ago. Civ 3 and 4 were made by third-party developers. The "Civu: Eras Beyond Civ" MMO is never advertised and thrown into the $5 bin. Sid claims they can make it sell, despite it not selling the first three times.

MECC: Two words: Tech Muncher.

 

[scy12]

Microsoft . Everyone buys one only to find out that he must constantly pay for something called "Uprades" , to make it work. Eventually civilization decides to format the system rather than another hour of agony.

 

[SirLamphead]

Hello I'm new to Civfanatics but not to the game.
Anywho what if Civilization was created by George Bush.....

There would be frequent mispellings and mispronunciations. Not to mention where the advisor (advisor=Karl Rove) does all the work. All the player does is make the world a worse place then when their Civ was first created.

 

[amazingorange]

Infinity Ward- The game would take about 3 minutes to complete but would be one heck of a blast.

 

[Rusted Armor]

EA: Instead of 2 expansion packs you will get:
CIV IV City Stuff
CIV IV Leader Stuff
CIV IV Civilization Stuff
CIV IV Unit Stuff
CIV IV Religion Stuff
CIV IV Army Stuff
CIV IV Wonder Stuff
CIV IV Great People Stuff
CIV IV Culture Stuff
CIV IV Diplomatic Stuff
CIV IV Alpha Centauri Stuff
CIV IV Conquest Stuff
CIV IV Domination Stuff
CIV IV Ancient Stuff
CIV IV Classical Stuff
CIV IV Medieval Stuff
CIV IV Renaissance Stuff
CIV IV Idustrial Stuff
CIV IV Modern Stuff
They will all cost $30 to get them on launch day and if you do get it, you get a game filled with glitchs and bugs taking longer then a month to release a patch.

 

[salty mud]

I lol'd.

And nice bump!

 

[Hitti-Litti]

EA: Instead of 2 expansion packs you will get:
CIV IV City Stuff
CIV IV Leader Stuff
CIV IV Civilization Stuff
CIV IV Unit Stuff
CIV IV Religion Stuff
CIV IV Army Stuff
CIV IV Wonder Stuff
CIV IV Great People Stuff
CIV IV Culture Stuff
CIV IV Diplomatic Stuff
CIV IV Alpha Centauri Stuff
CIV IV Conquest Stuff
CIV IV Domination Stuff
CIV IV Ancient Stuff
CIV IV Classical Stuff
CIV IV Medieval Stuff
CIV IV Renaissance Stuff
CIV IV Idustrial Stuff
CIV IV Modern Stuff
They will all cost $30 to get them on launch day and if you do get it, you get a game filled with glitchs and bugs taking longer then a month to release a patch.

You forgot CIV IV Improvements Stuff!

 

[salty mud]

Civ IV Scenario Stuff?

 

[Galacticat42]

Insomniac: All your enemies come in mass, but are weak, while EVERY ONE OF YOUR UNITS has an extremely overpowered gun of some sort, even the workers and settlers.

Naughty Dog: Each proceeding Civ game will explain details that the previous game left out, sucking in every gamer that comes across it, but blows it all off by making Civ IV into a racing game.

Disney Interactive: Everyone will be fully detailed, with feet twice the size of their bodies, and all vehicles made out of blocks.

Nazi Germany: Everyone is blonde, and has muscular graphics. There will be no such thing as religion, and the game always ends by Germany taking over most of the planet, and the leader commits suicide, letting the allies win.

 

[SG-17]

Pandemic: Oh my unit fell through the floor again, and the AI is in the glitch!


(Pandemic makes really glitching games, *cough*SWBFII*cough*)

 

[Rusted Armor]

You forgot CIV IV Improvements Stuff!

LOL, I guess i did.

 

[Squonk]

me: it wouldn't be done yet.

thelastone: there would be a polish civ. And no russian, and no german one.

 

[DroopyTofu]

Al Gore- you automatically lose if you build a factory, coal plant, forge, airport, Florida, or research assembly line first

Game Freak- You're goal is to complete the Civdex, by meeting varios civilivations throughout the game.

Company that made Guitar Hero- The game comes with a "warrior club controller", and you use it to control all warriors. Upon copleting bronze working, you had to buy a "axe controller", at twice the proce of the game. The same rule applies to every new unit you research, but the more a unit costs, the more the controller.

 

[TheBladeRoden]

*doesn't feel like reading back if it's already been done*

Epic: Uses Civ Revolution as the model for Civ 5. Civ 5 flops on the PC. Epic blames piracy and declares PC gaming dead.

 

[Tank_Guy#3]

Westwood: Workers mine ore hills to build tanks which roll across the battlefield until you build more than the other player and win.

What about hordes of useless infantry and not so great heroes?

Created by Tank Guy#3: The American civ would be the all powerful, no chance in hell of beating us civ. No religious buildings or technologies. There would also be a new result of remaining in a war for a long time: war giddiness. Where the people get happier, production vastly increases, and workers can actually terraform again!!!

 

[Firestorm94]

Al Gore: Global warming's effects would be so serious that when you build a forge, it turns surrounding tiles to dessert
Michael Jackson: all leaderheads would be replaced with pictures of little boys... oh! and all units would moonwalk

 

[Huayna Capac357]

Al Gore: Global warming's effects would be so serious that when you build a forge, it turns surrounding tiles to dessert

(bolface mine)

Mmmmm....tiles made completely of cake....would produce +100000000000000 food.

Anyhoo,

Will Wright: Would make many new concepts and an overall good game, but then would release approximately 10,000 expansion packs.