What is wrong with sexual promiscuity?

[GenMarshall]

Who cares? Gonahreah and genital warts never killed anyone.

But it does cause pain to the human male .

 

[wongfeihung]

The problem with promiscuity is the shallowness of relationships coupled with (usually) sex taking place far too soon in the relationship.

Romantic Relationships ought to be aimed at the union of two persons into a close intimacy. Promiscuity prevents the true deeping of the relationship and dependency because of the split loyalties/ faithfulnesses. Part of intimacy is faithfulness and faithfulness is a difficult thing to divide.

The promiscuous person is not truly interested in a deep codependency, thus they are not truly committed to a person with whom they are physically intimate? Why would you seek to be that way? It is settling for less than a romantic relationship was meant to be and become?


Sex is a truly holy, sacred thing. It is best experienced as an act of union consummating physically a relationship that has started spritually and emotionally between two lovers. Sex is an outpouring of one's love for another, and thus should only be given when two people are in a caring relationship.

Sex before commitment in a relationship always bring baggage and often pain when one is not ready.

But after a while of gaining the physical pleasure, but lacking the emotional attachment, people stop expecting it. They become accostomed to not forming attachment, just functional sex sessions. Their sex becomes only slightly pleasurable so they must seek new thrills and experiment with new methods. But they've exchanged a greater pleasure for a lesser one and thus are unable to be content.

Too many people want the physical pleasure of sex without realizing how enhanced it is by the emotional pleasure built up within the relationship.

 

[Pasi Nurminen]

The problem with promiscuity is the shallowness of relationships coupled with (usually) sex taking place far too soon in the relationship.

Who are you to decide what is a shallow relationship or sex taking place far too soon in a relationship for other people? Everyone is different. It's entirely possible to love someone emotionally and intellectualy without sexual monogamy. Though most people don't do things that way and it is socially expected for two people in a relationship to be sexually monogamous, not everyone needs to be. It's entirely possible to have a serious significant other or spouse but allow each other to freely engage in sexual activity with whomever one pleases, because some people are mature enough to realize that sex is sometimes just sex.

As for sex taking place too soon, again, who are you? People vary with regards to relationships, some people will be willing to get ultra serious right from the get-go, while others will want endless periods of casual dating before willing to move onto a more serious level. Of course, most people fall somewhere in between. If two people are appropriately compatable and are mature enough, there's no reason to think that they can't get serious quickly. Some people prefer to have sex soon after the first date, to get everything out in the open.

I guess that's the kicker here: some people on these forums just can't deal with the fact that some others don't conduct their personal lives according to what's become "traditional" or "socially acceptable" in Western society.

Romantic Relationships ought to be aimed at the union of two persons into a close intimacy. Promiscuity prevents the true deeping of the relationship and dependency because of the split loyalties/ faithfulnesses. Part of intimacy is faithfulness and faithfulness is a difficult thing to divide.

Again, this is your personal opinion and how you would conduct yourself in a relationship and is not a guideline for everyone. Romantic relationships don't exist for a set purpose; they exist because two people have feelings for each other. If said two people can maintain their feelings and a workable relationship while still allowing sexual freedom, more power to them.

The promiscuous person is not truly interested in a deep codependency, thus they are not truly committed to a person with whom they are physically intimate? Why would you seek to be that way? It is settling for less than a romantic relationship was meant to be and become?

What are you trying to say here? That casual, unattached sex is wrong? That's bs. Moving back to the original point of the OP, if one isn't in a relationship, who cares who they have sex with? Sex is a recreational activity, and if someone wants to have a one night stand or a ****-friend, why not let them? They're just having sex for pleasure, not to establish some deep seated committment for another human being. What's wrong with having sex for pleasure? What's wrong with not wanting to be committed to someone you've had sex with? Are you a virgin? I think so.

Sex is a truly holy, sacred thing. It is best experienced as an act of union consummating physically a relationship that has started spritually and emotionally between two lovers. Sex is an outpouring of one's love for another, and thus should only be given when two people are in a caring relationship.

Definitely a virgin. Why should everyone put ***** on a pedastal? Sex is not the outpouring of one's love for another, true love is displayed in much more relevant ways than not sticking your dick in somebody else. True love is manifested in emotional and mental faithfulness, by standing by someone. But sex is just a pleasureable act

Doing something for pleasure is not a violation of true love.

Sex before commitment in a relationship always bring baggage and often pain when one is not ready.

For you, maybe, but not for everynoe. Some people can perfectly handle sex in a casual relationship without committment.

But after a while of gaining the physical pleasure, but lacking the emotional attachment, people stop expecting it. They become accostomed to not forming attachment, just functional sex sessions. Their sex becomes only slightly pleasurable so they must seek new thrills and experiment with new methods. But they've exchanged a greater pleasure for a lesser one and thus are unable to be content.

For you, maybe, but there are plenty of people in this world who can have sex without an emotional attachment, just like there are plenty of people who can have an emotional attachment without having sex. The two are not mutually exclusive. You don't know even a tiny percentage of the people in this world, so who are you to judge them all? You don't even have any experiences with any cultures other than your own. What if you were to come across a culture in a foreign land that didn't value sex as highly as you do, where people were allowed to choose sexual partners casually and enjoy it simply for the physical pleasure of the act without being judged by people like you? Would you tell them how awful their lifestyle is?

Please don't have sex before marriage! It might cause people to break out into an orgy of rape and violence! Sex is a stepping stone drug!

Too many people want the physical pleasure of sex without realizing how enhanced it is by the emotional pleasure built up within the relationship.

Again, for you. I personally find that while sex with an emotional attachment can be more satisfying, the physical act of it is not necessarily better, it simply depends on the skill/talent of your sexual partner in the bedroom.

 

[Shigga]

I think promiscuity is not a bad thing at all. BUT it is conducted in a bad way quite often.

Bad conduct means:

Not protecting yourself and your sex partner.
Being in a relationship with one part having no clue that the other is promiscuous.
Deliberately deceive the persons you have sex with about your motives- implicating a possible emotional long-term relationship while in truth you just want to **** around as much as possible.
Having sex with someone you know being emotionally attached to you- even in love- while yourself are just exploiting the fact.
etc.

Humans, like all other creatures of nature, are not being made for monogamy. It would be a serious evolutionary disadvantage. That is why so many ppl are not faithful.

That's why sex and love are two different things imo, even if one can enhance the experience of the other.

Conclusion: promiscuity is not immoral per se but the manner in which it is conducted can be.

 

[wongfeihung]

Who are you to decide what is a shallow relationship or sex taking place far too soon in a relationship for other people?

Why must you attack my words by calling them intolerant, by asking who are you? I can ask the same question of you. Who are you to say that promiscuity is a good thing. That's not getting us anywhere.

Everyone is different. It's entirely possible to love someone emotionally and intellectualy without sexual monogamy. Though most people don't do things that way and it is socially expected for two people in a relationship to be sexually monogamous, not everyone needs to be. It's entirely possible to have a serious significant other or spouse but allow each other to freely engage in sexual activity with whomever one pleases, because some people are mature enough to realize that sex is sometimes just sex.

As for sex taking place too soon, again, who are you? People vary with regards to relationships, some people will be willing to get ultra serious right from the get-go, while others will want endless periods of casual dating before willing to move onto a more serious level. Of course, most people fall somewhere in between. If two people are appropriately compatable and are mature enough, there's no reason to think that they can't get serious quickly. Some people prefer to have sex soon after the first date, to get everything out in the open.

Yes everyone is different, but again who are you to determine that everyone can't and shouldn't act in some similar ways. Are we a people, a humanity or a bunch of autonomous individuals. We devised values in ethics because we interact with other people, our choices affect them too.

I guess that's the kicker here: some people on these forums just can't deal with the fact that some others don't conduct their personal lives according to what's become "traditional" or "socially acceptable" in Western society.

Please get beyond the West/ not West thing. I am a Christian, I'll admit it, but it does not matter where I come from, I could be Laotian or Chinese Christian and still feel the same way.

Some people are unable to deal with traditional beliefs. They have rejected them and are unwilling to allow others to hold to them either. Please don't think that because I disagree with you that I coming to your house to watch your sexual activity. I thought we were having an ethical discussion, why are you trying to go on into a personal attack. Please back off.

Again, this is your personal opinion and how you would conduct yourself in a relationship and is not a guideline for everyone. Romantic relationships don't exist for a set purpose; they exist because two people have feelings for each other. If said two people can maintain their feelings and a workable relationship while still allowing sexual freedom, more power to them.



What are you trying to say here? That casual, unattached sex is wrong? That's bs. Moving back to the original point of the OP, if one isn't in a relationship, who cares who they have sex with? Sex is a recreational activity, and if someone wants to have a one night stand or a ****-friend, why not let them? They're just having sex for pleasure, not to establish some deep seated committment for another human being. What's wrong with having sex for pleasure? What's wrong with not wanting to be committed to someone you've had sex with? Are you a virgin? I think so.

You seem not to be a virgin, or at least to think that it is important.

Purity is a virtue. I would not exactly call myself a virgin. I am however a recovering sex/masterbation addict. I can tell you that the desire for physical pleasure consumed me for a long time, but I found it addictive, compelling and it lead me into depression.

Definitely a virgin. Why should everyone put ***** on a pedastal? Sex is not the outpouring of one's love for another, true love is displayed in much more relevant ways than not sticking your dick in somebody else.

Your reference to sex by the f-word and sticking your dick is strange. Why should we call sex by a name acknowledged to carry a connotation of offensiveness or material. Because it shows toughness? what?
[/QUOTE]

True love is manifested in emotional and mental faithfulness, by standing by someone. But sex is just a pleasureable act
[/QUOTE]

Just a pleasurable act. Wow, sex is like what? Golfing for pleasure?

Doing something for pleasure is not a violation of true love.

I never said it was, but pleasure in a relationship must be bound by love. You cannot squander your love on many other things if you have a true love. Granted you will seek and have pleasures, but hopefully not ones that strain the bond of affection. Part of standing by someone is giving yourself to them.

Also, why should the validity of other ways of expressing love negate sex as an act of love. Its not the only act of love, not even by far the highest, but I never argued that. Faithfulness is manifest in standing by someone and committing yourself to someone at all times. So sometimes other pleasures should be forgone for the pleasure of remaining faithful.

But beyond that sex as merely a pleasurable act has spread STDs. Yes I think that voluntary acts that expose oneself and others to diseases is wrong. I'll call something wrong if it leads to hurting people.

For you, maybe, but not for everynoe. Some people can perfectly handle sex in a casual relationship without committment.

But the question is: is that a good thing. Do you think so?

For you, maybe, but there are plenty of people in this world who can have sex without an emotional attachment, just like there are plenty of people who can have an emotional attachment without having sex. The two are not mutually exclusive. You don't know even a tiny percentage of the people in this world, so who are you to judge them all? You don't even have any experiences with any cultures other than your own.

Judge, not lest you be judged. Am I condemning you for your acts? No. I don't know anything about you, except that you have made some well-reasoned posts in other threads. I rather like you. I've studied some aspects of a promiscuous african tribe called the Kung.
Actually I do have experiences with other cultures (medium length trips to two other countries on two other continents) and even myself, becuase my own culture/ethic has been changed from typical American teenager (who very often approve of promiscuity)to Christian. I was there, I speak from some experience, although limited.

What if you were to come across a culture in a foreign land that didn't value sex as highly as you do, where people were allowed to choose sexual partners casually and enjoy it simply for the physical pleasure of the act without being judged by people like you? Would you tell them how awful their lifestyle is?

Why are you turning this discussion into a condemnation fest. No I would not tell them how awful their lifestyle is.

First of all I would befriend them before giving them any council on how to live their personal lives. Then I would tell them how awful my life was without monogamy, if they agree so be it. If they disagree, why should I love them as friends less? They are people not cattle or dirt. Do I condemn them, no? Do I try as gently as possible to led them to a better way, yes. Why can't I advocate a better way without devaluing their culture and them as persons, culture and traditions can and often do change.

But promiscuity as a public ethical value leads to jealousy, confused family relations (b/c of children) and sexually transmitted diseases.

Please don't have sex before marriage! It might cause people to break out into an orgy of rape and violence! Sex is a stepping stone drug!

Mock it, go ahead. But I, and many others with similar and even dissimilar systems of ethics view purity as important. Purity is manifested in other ways, as loyalty and faithfulness, but to scorn its value is to lose something which is good. Sex is too good for promiscuity.

Again, for you. I personally find that while sex with an emotional attachment can be more satisfying, the physical act of it is not necessarily better, it simply depends on the skill/talent of your sexual partner in the bedroom.

I suppose one could say that that's just my opinion. But many others share the same experience. I am trying to represent their views too. If I did so too bluntly I apologize.



Sex is not so much a recreational activity as a procreational activity my friend. I know that's old fashioned to say that, but many, many cultures through times have acknowledged it as such. It also a wholistic act involving your body, mind, and spirit. Another old fashioned thing to say, but your actually arguing that I don't think lowly enough of sex.

Sex is just this or that... Well, sex is sex, but I thought that traditionalists like me were supposed to have a lower view of sex because we advocate limitations on it. Maybe thats not what you think of me, I hope not after you have read what I have written.

 

[Ramius75]

I think if i dont mind my partner to fool and sleep around and vice versa, then its not a problem. If i expect mine to be faithful to me, then i should be also.

 

[Brighteye]

Yes everyone is different, but again who are you to determine that everyone can't and shouldn't act in some similar ways.
...
Just a pleasurable act. Wow, sex is like what? Golfing for pleasure?
...
Judge, not lest you be judged. Am I condemning you for your acts? ... Why can't I advocate a better way without devaluing their culture and them as persons, culture and traditions can and often do change.

But promiscuity as a public ethical value leads to jealousy, confused family relations (b/c of children) and sexually transmitted diseases.

The problem in this thread is that everyone thinks they're being attacked by the other side.
The people supporting promiscuity are simply saying that there is nothing intrinsically wrong with promiscuity; the problem is that those who dislike it are imposing their views on us. We are not attacking monogamy at all.
And then those who dislike it reply by saying 'stop trying to force promiscuity on us'. We're not. We're trying to get you to accept that it's an acceptable and not inferior and wrong lifestyle. Your personal values are just that: personal values, not universal ones. We do not share them.
So yes, you are condemning us for our acts. The whole point of this thread was to establish that promiscuity is not wrong; that it is acceptable and even normal. Yet here you say ' a better way'. That's called judging us, not us judging you.
Promiscuity as a public ethic does not lead to jealousy. If people accept it as an ethic then they are specifically not being jealous. The problem comes when people do not accept promiscuity and become jealous without saying that they do not allow other people to live a perfectly legitimate lifestyle.

I don't try to stop you jogging every morning, so why do you want to stop me being promiscuous, or condemn me for it?

 

[Brighteye]

You should view it as it is wrong for you by also respecting yourself. I mean, then you know you got some respect out of it right? Maybe not the other parties but for yourself.

I don't understand what you're trying to say here.

There are plenty of selfish people in the world that will use you exactly or worse than how you would use them. They may lie to you about their STD status due to emotional stress, or they may go buy a gun if you leave her.

I'm not trying to use anyone. People can lie to me even now. It's the lying that's wrong, not the promiscuity.

We are talking about sex, not bridge.

What's the relevant difference that makes this an unfair comparison?

Just like the tramp should ask what the money is for. If someone just hands you money you are going to take it and do nothing. BUt I wouldn't trust someone that walks up with 1000 bucks and just said "Here. Take this." I would want to know WTH was going on first.

So every time anyone gives me anything I should ask what's the catch and ask them specifically to state that there is none? It seems pointless. if someone doesn't add anything extra, in normal life we assume that there isn't anything. The law would support the tramp if he claimed that he didn't have to paint the fence.
When I offered the people in the lab. some chocolates I had, they didn't say "I'll only take these if it's no strings attached". They said "thanks, I'll have this one". It's up to me to say that they can only have chocolate if they buy me a pint later, or else they won't and it's unreasonable to expect them to.

 

[GinandTonic]

Sex is a truly holy, sacred thing. It is best experienced as an act of union consummating physically a relationship that has started spritually and emotionally between two lovers. Sex is an outpouring of one's love for another, and thus should only be given when two people are in a caring relationship.

Sex can be a truly holy thing. It can also be fun. Making love is a wonderful thing, but shagging also has its moments.

One does not preclude the other.

 

[Ansar]

But it does cause pain to the human male .

That's because Xanikk isnt a human male.

 

[wongfeihung]

The problem in this thread is that everyone thinks they're being attacked by the other side.
The people supporting promiscuity are simply saying that there is nothing intrinsically wrong with promiscuity; the problem is that those who dislike it are imposing their views on us. We are not attacking monogamy at all.
And then those who dislike it reply by saying 'stop trying to force promiscuity on us'. We're not. We're trying to get you to accept that it's an acceptable and not inferior and wrong lifestyle. Your personal values are just that: personal values, not universal ones. We do not share them.
So yes, you are condemning us for our acts. The whole point of this thread was to establish that promiscuity is not wrong; that it is acceptable and even normal. Yet here you say ' a better way'. That's called judging us, not us judging you.

Promiscuity is wrong. That said does the fact that you commit a wrong act mean that I hate and condemn you? No. I can say that you don't tell the truth about sex, but I value your opinions and your humanity and I think you most likely do hold to other good practices, like playing civiliztion for one or your desire for toleration- these are good.

I am not going to allow you to say that critizing you means condemning you, it just isn't.

Promiscuity as a public ethic does not lead to jealousy. If people accept it as an ethic then they are specifically not being jealous. The problem comes when people do not accept promiscuity and become jealous without saying that they do not allow other people to live a perfectly legitimate lifestyle.

Yes people do not accept promiscuity, hence the problem for the promiscuous. But the question is what does one gain from promiscuity? If your answer is pleasure, then many would argue that greater pleasures are obtained by faithfulness in relationships. I think you might counterargue that pleasure in faithfulness is really no greater than . Is one of these views correct, I think so, I think you do too.

Promiscuity is common and easy given the range of human sexual desires, the question is:
Is it equally legitmate giving equal pleasure to promiscuous as faithfulness does to others.

You seem to argue for the equality, I disagree.

I don't try to stop you jogging every morning, so why do you want to stop me being promiscuous, or condemn me for it?

Buddy, I ain't gunna play police with you, I'm not stopping you from being promiscuous.

However, others who value faithfulness in relationships are going to tell you about it when your decisions affect their lives (like your dating their daughter). Are these the people you have a problem with?
Your jogging or my jogging probably doesn't affect others, but I would say that sometimes your sexual decisions do affect others (other than sex partners).

 

[GenMarshall]

That's because Xanikk isnt a human male.

Don't tell me he is an alien who escaped Area 51! .

Even though wongfeihung is new, he has gained my attention. Especially in reading that I do share similar views with him.

I am however a recovering sex/masterbation addict. I can tell you that the desire for physical pleasure consumed me for a long time, but I found it addictive, compelling and it lead me into depression.

I wonder if you have any pointers since I am facing those kind of issues right now. Though its more towards porn and the M-word .

 

[Katheryn]

As a female brought up in a very promiscuous times, I can tell you that promiscuity is degrading the females. Don't believe it if you don't want to but it is the truth. Polls bear out that fact. Women want attention, and end up having to give sex as the price.

What they want is companionship before they are willing to give out their secrets. And giving sexual satisfaction to a women is a secret to each one.

 

[mdwh]

As a female brought up in a very promiscuous times, I can tell you that promiscuity is degrading the females. Don't believe it if you don't want to but it is the truth. Polls bear out that fact. Women want attention, and end up having to give sex as the price.

What they want is companionship before they are willing to give out their secrets. And giving sexual satisfaction to a women is a secret to each one.

But there are plenty of people who have relationships (yes, they usually have sex too, but it's in a relationship, not promiscuous). Yes, it can be hard finding a relationship, but that's life - it's hard for a guy too.

It's not unsurprising that finding a one night stand is easier than a relationship, because the latter requires finding someone you can stand spending a lot of time with, so that's not the relevant issue. The issue is, I don't see how some men and women having one night stands makes it harder to find a relationship.

In other words, if someone women choose to have casual sex for attention, that may be sad, but that's their choice and responsibility - they still have the option to find a relationship.

And what polls are you referring to? How can a poll measure what is "degrading"?

 

[warpus]

But the question is what does one gain from promiscuity? If your answer is pleasure, then many would argue that greater pleasures are obtained by faithfulness in relationships.

What business do you have dictating what should and what shouldn't happen between 2 consenting adults?

Who cares what they get out of it? It's their business, not yours.

(like your dating their daughter).

In this case it would be your business However, I'd take it up with your daughter for being a slut, and not fault Brighteye for taking advantage of an opportunity.

I wonder if you have any pointers since I am facing those kind of issues right now. Though its more towards porn and the M-word

THere is nothing wrong with masturbation and it is indeed healthy.. in healthy doses However, I would suggest that you find a girlfriend who could take care of these.. things.. for you.

As a female brought up in a very promiscuous times, I can tell you that promiscuity is degrading the females. Don't believe it if you don't want to but it is the truth. Polls bear out that fact. Women want attention, and end up having to give sex as the price.

Hey, if a girl wants attention and is willing to be degraded, that's her own fault, not anybody else's.

Also, there are plenty of girls who are promiscuous who don't feel degraded at all. THey just enjoy it and are fine with it.

 

[GenMarshall]

THere is nothing wrong with masturbation and it is indeed healthy.. in healthy doses However, I would suggest that you find a girlfriend who could take care of these.. things.. for you.

As a Christian, Masturbation IS wrong and unhealthy! I don't want to be committing that sin any longer.

 

[Abaddon]

Seems very silly to me.. doesnt have anyone.

 

[GinandTonic]

Seems very silly to me.. doesnt have anyone.

Was that a freudian slit?

 

[JohnRM]

As a Christian, Masturbation IS wrong and unhealthy! I don't want to be committing that sin any longer.

Now we are going too far.

 

[warpus]

As a Christian, Masturbation IS wrong and unhealthy! I don't want to be committing that sin any longer.

Well, like I said, find a girlfriend Those urges aren't going away anytime soon.