What would you do if a bird picked you up?

[Farm Boy]

Multipurpose!

I've had a tangential to point series of discussions regarding the abundance of rabbits last year, the scarcity of rabbits this year, and the fundamental truth regarding unattended(for short periods of time) beagle puppies and the nature of (rarely directly seen) coyotes.

 

[EnglishEdward]

My friend asked a bunch of us this question, and we ended up having a very interesting discussion as several of us had very different reactions. Just for fun.

Imagine you're out walking or something on a warm summer's day, and suddenly out of nowhere you're lifted into the air by a giant bird that swooped down and grabbed you, and now you're off flying.

How do you feel you'll react? Do you wait and see where you're taken, or do you try to struggle and make it let you go?

There are a number of possible responses.

For an intelligent bird:

"Dear Sir, I am fitted with a tamper proof tracker, and am fully paid up with my revenge insurance with the old firm
of Claymore McMafia who take great pride in their 100% record of terminating assassins, cannibals and kidnappers"

"Dear Sir, I must advise you that because we are still in the European Union, I am, as a sentient food item,
legally obliged to imform you under directive EU778955566 that due to excessive consumption of tuna and
mayonnaise I exceed the safe concentration of xxx/yy of mercury to be fed to infants and that under EU766677
you should ring 999 888 888 to obtain the decode number to switch off the anti-proton reactor in my pacemake"

For an unintelligent bird, I'd recommend an immediate attack on its wedding tackle.

 

[Timsup2nothin]

Multipurpose!

I've had a tangential to point series of discussions regarding the abundance of rabbits last year, the scarcity of rabbits this year, and the fundamental truth regarding unattended(for short periods of time) beagle puppies and the nature of (rarely directly seen) coyotes.

It may surprise you, or may not, that there are multiple threads there. Rabbit scarcity may be DUE to the sometimes unsupervised beagle puppies OR to present but unseen coyotes. An additional data point, hopefully avoided, would be required to determine which.

 

[Farm Boy]

At the density I do hear/see them, and the guys with chickens hear/see/suffer them, I know where the rabbits went. Younger county deputies have been having to reacclimate themselves to individuals conducting pest control on particularly bold/hungry ones with long rifles on personal property at night. They've bounced back along with the harriers. Additional data point? I haven't seen a fox in years.

 

[Takhisis]

Tortoise = Land
Turtle = Water
??? = Space

What shall we call the shelled reptile carrying the world?

**Edit**
Huh, it's a star turtle.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Discworld_(world)

Take THAT, @Takhisis!

You said tortoise, I said turtle. Since I'm living in an Olympic city, I might as well say that your comment's like the last-placed entrant laughing at the silver medallist for not havign come in first.

Your responses are all very interesting, I feel it's fascinating how so many expect something horrible to happen to you, and even plan violence against this bird.

You have pointed out a glaring defficiency in my planning. From now on I'll wear diapers, just to prevent a possible ‘videogame addicted nerd kidnapped by mutant condor, poops pants’ headline.

 

[Hrothbern]

We have foxes everywhere, up to in the old centre of Amsterdam (mostly young males).

 

[Farm Boy]

Jealous. I liked them better than the coyotes.

 

[Timsup2nothin]

At the density I do hear/see them, and the guys with chickens hear/see/suffer them, I know where the rabbits went. Younger county deputies have been having to reacclimate themselves to individuals conducting pest control on particularly bold/hungry ones with long rifles on personal property at night. They've bounced back along with the harriers. Additional data point? I haven't seen a fox in years.

I was considering the disappearing puppy as the definitive data point, though I suppose all those chickens will do. It does seem reasonable that rabbits might want to avoid a bunch of playful beagle puppies and go hang out down the street though.

 

[Farm Boy]

Ah, that makes sense. It's one puppy though, and I hadn't mentioned it, but the order of appearance/disappearance is wrong for that particular explanation. I guess most people don't pay coyotes much mind past the explanation of what they're hearing.

 

[Timsup2nothin]

Ah, that makes sense. It's one puppy though, and I hadn't mentioned it, but the order of appearance/disappearance is wrong for that particular explanation. I guess most people don't pay coyotes much mind past the explanation of what they're hearing.

Sorry to hear that. I was thinking more of a speculative potential puppy rather than thinking one had actually been had. Depending on the child, the parent, and the urgency I could picture a parent saying "You have gotta keep these little guys wrangled up, they are scaring away the rabbits!" even if they know there is a potentially darker explanation for the lack of rabbits that makes keeping the pups under supervision more significant. Farms may call for a more starkly realistic negotiation though.

 

[Hrothbern]

Jealous. I liked them better than the coyotes.

There are here no coyotes, but I do like foxes since I read the 13th century beast fable Reynaert the Fox as little child in the expurgated version
The fox outfoxing everyone using the greed, vanity and stupidity of the other animals, including the King Lion.
On the surface the story is:

Satire about a fox who kills and bullies, and gets away with his deeds. The rest of society isn't much better. The nobility is being portrayed as lazy and often stupid. Clergymen are sexually active. The common population is often violent and cruel. Many women are sexually promiscuous and include prostitutes.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Van_den_vos_Reynaerde

In historical context it is:

It is supposed that Willem wrote Van den Vos Reinaerde to encourage Siger III, chatelain of the Counts’ Castle in Ghent, who was unjustly deprived of his post around 1210 by Philip the Noble, Count of Namur and Regent of Flanders. The figure of the concupiscent and vacillating Noble the Lion seems to be based on Philip, who slavishly followed the King of France’s orders and handed over two princesses as hostages to his master. Reinaert’s castle is actually Siger III’s country retreat at Destelbergen, which appears on later maps by the same name as Reinaert’s lair, Malpertuus, meaning Hell’s Gate.[4]
De Vries argues that the animal characters represent barons who conspired against the Count of Flanders. He is accused of various crimes, but generally outwits his accusers. Nevertheless, he is in the end sent into exile.

Like the struggle of the British Barons against the Crown and King John in the same decade.

 

[Farm Boy]

Sorry to hear that. I was thinking more of a speculative potential puppy rather than thinking one had actually been had. Depending on the child, the parent, and the urgency I could picture a parent saying "You have gotta keep these little guys wrangled up, they are scaring away the rabbits!" even if they know there is a potentially darker explanation for the lack of rabbits that makes keeping the pups under supervision more significant. Farms may call for a more starkly realistic negotiation though.

Argh. Specificity. Right. Nothing tragic, unless one was a rabbit or a chicken!

Rabbits everywhere last year, many less rabbits this year. Many vocal coyotes last year, harder to hear this year, thus, there are coyotes and it can safely be implied that they are hungry and thus desperate enough to be bold. The guy I know with chickens supports this theory, he was getting ghosted by one in the middle of the day on his lawnmower while he had his chickens out, and did manage to lose some during the middle of the day, rather than have them broken into at night.

The (singular) puppy was adopted later, and the stern conversations regarding its aptitude for defending itself against a hungry coyote(s) and just how long the latter would need were to follow shortly thereafter. It was more with the spouse than the son regarding giving it outside time in the evening after dark to sniff and play and relieve itself.

Edit: You can also safely assume I've lost a series of life decisions, at this point, if the dog is being given "outside time" in the first place instead being a breed which would be able to consider outside time as simply "time." I so very much loathe inside dogs.

 

[Takhisis]

Tickle it.
https://www.tigerknight.com/ss/7-14

Excellent.

Will Synsensa read this?

 

[Timsup2nothin]

I so very much loathe inside dogs.

You're fired.

Not by me.

Just passing it on after reading your message to the furbodies that run this establishment. They are still a bit irked by the uppity staff having installed a dog door so as to not be required to serve as doorman at their whim.

 

[Takhisis]

Is one of your dogs called ‘Donald’?

 

[Timsup2nothin]

Is one of your dogs called ‘Donald’?

No, and I'd have changed it if they were.

 

[Takhisis]

Well, it is a short-fingered creature with strange hair that considers humans to be staff and goes around barking ‘you're fired’, so it was possible.

 

[Timsup2nothin]

Well, it is a short-fingered creature with strange hair that considers humans to be staff and goes around barking ‘you're fired’, so it was possible.

Fair point. I would argue the "strange hair" part, but they are due at the groomers tomorrow so any defense of hair is currently off the menu. (@Farm Boy it might be best not to mention that groomer bit to your wife, or maybe you should if that offers one where you think you can win)

 

[Farm Boy]

Not enough hair to need groomed. Which means I had to put significantly more effort into insulating a dog bed than I ever thought I would. I'm going to add drywall to the top as well as the floor, I think. That damn bay. It sleeps in the garage.

 

[Timsup2nothin]

Not enough hair to need groomed. Which means I had to put significantly more effort into insulating a dog bed than I ever thought I would. I'm going to add drywall to the top as well as the floor, I think. That damn bay. It sleeps in the garage.

I just had this flash image of what it would be like if we lived somewhere that got really cold and my dogs put on the full coats they are capable of producing.

Tomorrow at the groomers we will leave enough hair to fill a standard kitchen trash bag.