Why do we over dramatize love???

[Golden Touch]

Have you noticed that the current trend on breaking up with someone is to moon over them for months and to cry for weeks because you've lost the love of your life? That if you have a crush on someone your in love with them and can't be without them? That teenagers are having the 'so where are we going' chat, instead of just getting on with it?

When did we start over dramatizing love to the point of being ridiculous? and why do we do it, when essentially you could probably get over a failed relationship pretty damn quickly if you didnt insist on being all EMO about it?!

 

[Fugitive Sisyphus]

I blame the media.

 

[Golden Touch]

god knows I'm the worst at this, just ask abaddon. I think, for me anway, its strongly linked into being bored. what else is a girl meant to do during her exams et al. other than obsess and be really rather dull?!

however, its not only a girl thing! Many a time i've had the 'where are we going' chat and I've thought what the hell is going on here, we've been together a month and we're having fun. isn't that enough!?!

Do you think there is always a 'needier' one in every relationship?

 

[mrt144]

we started over dramaticizing it when economic and social concerns stopped being one of the major reasons we got married and into relationships.

 

[Nylan]

Have you noticed that the current trend on breaking up with someone is to moon over them for months and to cry for weeks because you've lost the love of your life? That if you have a crush on someone your in love with them and can't be without them? That teenagers are having the 'so where are we going' chat, instead of just getting on with it?

When did we start over dramatizing love to the point of being ridiculous? and why do we do it, when essentially you could probably get over a failed relationship pretty damn quickly if you didnt insist on being all EMO about it?!

You answered your own question. The advent of emo and the image of the media confuse infatuation and love, and depict this lesser feeling of attachment as being incredibly powerful. All relationships are dramatic romances in the media, so teenagers now assume that's the way its supposed to be. Emo music certainly hasn't helped, and I seriously doubt its helped anyone fix, improve, or find a lasting relationship.

I used to be dramatic in a very ******** way. It was not until I fell on my face a couple times that I figured it out the hard way. In fact I'm thrilled that I fell on my face, because I would have stepped into a minefield and gone through a great amount of pain and unhappiness had I not.

An added factor might be kids having relationships at younger and younger ages. Most kids under the age of 16 are ill prepared to handle the complexities of a relationship, let alone understand what love really is, and so it tends to cause a lot of problems.

 

[GoodEnoughForMe]

I try to stay away from love at all costs. I want no part of it. Partly because it's so overdone.

 

[Godwynn]

People just need to get some self-esteem, motivation, and confidence.

 

[Golden Touch]

do you also think that unrealistic expectations are being encouraged by the media???

I know of people who think that first flush of 'love', which is basically infatuation, should last until your 80 and there will be no problems. i'm slightly more realistic having spoken to my mum, shes told me that couples have to work at their relationship to keep it successful. but I cant deny the idea of a perfect love being plain sailing all the way is attractive!! but people seem to end perfectly good relationships just because things get a little harder.

 

[Yeeek]

I believe you once promised to give me some phone numbers of your female friends Golden Touch. I'm still waiting!

 

[Nylan]

do you also think that unrealistic expectations are being encouraged by the media???

I know of people who think that first flush of 'love', which is basically infatuation, should last until your 80 and there will be no problems. i'm slightly more realistic having spoken to my mum, shes told me that couples have to work at their relationship to keep it successful. but I cant deny the idea of a perfect love being plain sailing all the way is attractive!! but people seem to end perfectly good relationships just because things get a little harder.

Yes

love is a journey, not an instant paradise. This is similar to the world's distorted view of feminine beauty, all the good qualities are shown and often ridiculously enlarged, while the negative qualities, or the parts that actually require effort (gasp!) are skipped over.

 

[classical_hero]

do you also think that unrealistic expectations are being encouraged by the media???

I know of people who think that first flush of 'love', which is basically infatuation, should last until your 80 and there will be no problems. i'm slightly more realistic having spoken to my mum, shes told me that couples have to work at their relationship to keep it successful. but I cant deny the idea of a perfect love being plain sailing all the way is attractive!! but people seem to end perfectly good relationships just because things get a little harder.

What you are describing here is love, but you first started talking about romance beforehand. That is the problem since people do not realise that love requires lots of work to happen in the first place.

 

[Yeeek]

How many people here are under 20, virgin and talking about Love like they know what it is?

 

[Nylan]

How many people here are under 20, virgin and talking about Love like they know what it is?

That's another flaw. Being a virgin, contrary to society's portrayal, does not make one inexperienced in love.

Nor does having been extremely promiscuous make one knowledgeable in the ways of love.

Love does not equal sex, and can exist without it.

 

[mrt144]

the other thing about love though, is that it isnt something that is worth harming yourself over, or sacrificing much of your future happiness over. if the situation is awful between you and someone you love, perhaps it's best to be away from that person.

 

[Yeeek]

Not in my world, i'm afraid! sex in the late teens, early twenty is meaningless. We are having fun, that's it. When you are in your late 20 and over its part of your relationship. Things have changed, your body changed, everything changed. Sex is important part of Love. I'm talking about the Love you have for the man/woman of your life. Not the "Love" you feel for your classmate.

 

[Swedishguy]

I propose changing the word "love" to "clone" and "clone" to "love". "Love" sounds way too positive.

 

[Bozo Erectus]

Kids have been getting lovesick since way before this emo stuff. Anybody ever hear of Romeo and Juliette?

 

[Eran of Arcadia]

Heck, Romeo and Juliet were the original emos.

Anyways, sex is overrated. Just because our existence is the result of millions of acts of sexual intercourse over a billion years . . .

 

[C~G]

I think sometimes it's the opposite. It has become habit that people say that "life goes on" or "there are more ducks in the pond". Unfortunately that just isn't the case always.

Certain special relationships do define us to ourselves and losing that special someone can be huge blow. In psychology there's thing called closure. Person needs to go through certain ritual or stages before he/she can live with the fact it's over and move on, if possible.

Of course this is just plain stupid when it comes to each and every teenage infatuation or crush. But you meet young people all the time that over dramatize all the things. It has become indeed part of the culture as they try to build narrations (meanings) about their life. It's the stories that interest people especially young girls and that's why sometimes they don't actually enjoy love but just the process of making all the drama up. Hence the term "drama queen".

But one of the most painful things to face in life is that your love hasn't meant anything and it's all for nothing. So I cannot judge whether someone is overreacting or not (unless I know their background and other relationships they have been in). For those that go through the pain it doesn't necessarily show up as melodrama but actual hurting. Nowadays it's really hard to tell what is real and what is not.

 

[Bozo Erectus]

Anyways, sex is overrated. Just because our existence is the result of millions of acts of sexual intercourse over a billion years . . .

If its only been millions in the past billion years, no wonder humans are so cranky.