2019 Christmas Thread

[Synobun]

If we are arguing that traditions are never divorced from their origin, then I trust that those decrying this tradition also decry the entire spread of traditional weddings? I hope none of you had a wedding cake, which was originally meant to improve the bride's fertility so her husband could plant his seed ASAP to continue the bloodline. Or wore a white dress, which was imposed as the standard by monarchistic elitism in the 1800s. Or had their wedding in a church, given that the Church is one of the largest anti-feminist and oppressive organizations to exist for millennia. Or had a best man, who were once tasked with protecting the groom from the bride's family or recapturing the bride when she tries to run away.

Now, if your response to any of the above is "But Syn, that's not what any of those things mean today!" then you might consider applying that same standard to Hobbs.

 

[Lexicus]

If we are arguing that traditions are never divorced from their origin, then I trust that those decrying this tradition also decry the entire spread of traditional weddings? I hope none of you had a wedding cake, which was originally meant to improve the bride's fertility so her husband could plant his seed ASAP to continue the bloodline. Or wore a white dress, which was imposed as the standard by monarchistic elitism in the 1800s. Or had their wedding in a church, given that the Church is one of the largest anti-feminist and oppressive organizations to exist for millennia. Or had a best man, who were once tasked with protecting the groom from the bride's family or recapturing the bride when she tries to run away.

Now, if your response to any of the above is "But Syn, that's not what any of those things mean today!" then you might consider applying that same standard to Hobbs.

I'm not a big fan of any of these things, actually, or of a woman taking a man's name either.

 

[Darsnan]

Oh yes, I totally get you it used to be customary (but still wrong), but asking her father for "permission" today is just ... gross.

So just to be clear here, if your referring to me that's not what I said:

And on an even more Christmasy note our daughter's boyfriend called the wifey and I and asked us for permission to marry our daughter.

Its something our future son-in-law wanted to do, not something we expected or requested. And other than him being a Patriots fan, I think he is going to be a wonderful addition to our family, as he treats our daughter with much love and respect. If you find issue with this then so be it, that is your prerogative.

D

 

[Manfred Belheim]

I also feel like the phrase "my wife insisted" has been somewhat ignored here.

 

[Farm Boy]

Glad everyone is pleased! Doesn't sound like the sort of guy that would text from the driveway or, if you're ancient, honk the horn rather than go up to the door.

Those guys always seemed to have a lack of interest in her social bonds and relationships, which pretty much leaves the focus on her crotch.

 

[civvver]

So MaryKB, your father didn't walk you down the isle?

 

[Sommerswerd]

Happy wife, happy life. We give "HINTS" but I like to buy a couple of items that will surprise her. She does also. So we get the best of both worlds.

I use a combination of hints/mental notes from my wife along with a wish list my wife gives her sister for the gifts they exchange. My sister-in-law typically picks one thing on the list so, I just contact her for the list and get the rest of the stuff.

That's usually when dishes need to get done ...

I'm typically too stuffed/drunk by then for any of that... especially on Thanksgiving

I have to agree with Mary here, it is literally patriarchy to ask a woman's father for permission to marry her.

I "asked" my wife's mother for "permission". But as @Farm Boy says, it was more like I made her aware of my intentions, to give her the courtesy of an opportunity to share any thoughts, concerns etc., and also as a sign of respect for her old fashioned traditions/ideals... But I was marrying my wife no matter what the eff her mother or anyone else said/wanted.

 

[Farm Boy]

I think one year we drove 4 hours round trip to eat a late lunch and then nap at each other.

 

[Takhisis]

Or wore a white dress, which was imposed as the standard by monarchistic elitism in the 1800s.

White for virginity!

other than him being a Patriots fan, I think he is going to be a wonderful addition to our family

He supports the sporting opposition? If I were the judge I'd declare a mistrial if you were ever tried for soninlawicide.

 

[red_elk]

- Mom, why the bride is wearing white dress on the wedding?
- Because white color is a symbol of purity, innocence and happiness.
- Hmm, now I understand why the groom is in black.

 

[Manfred Belheim]

So MaryKB, your father didn't walk you down the isle?

That could have been a long walk.

 

[MaryKB]

So MaryKB, your father didn't walk you down the isle?

Absolutely not.

 

[Takhisis]

And down the aisle?

 

[Farm Boy]

It's always interesting to see differing takes on what to put up with to make things work better interpersonally. My entire extended family, devout Methodists for the most part, sat in bad little protestant communion detention during full mass closed communion. I'm sure some of them groused, but not to me.

My brother in law's side put up with my sister's dry reception. Didn't hear any kvetching there either.

 

[Timsup2nothin]

I was pretty pleased that my son opted to "get permission" from his future in-laws. It may seem like patriarchy to some, but to me it is more of an acknowledgement that there are considerations beyond the couple themselves. He also informed me ahead of time that he was expanding our clan. Reasonable courtesy.

 

[shadowplay]

Anyone cooking goose for Christmas?

 

[Timsup2nothin]

Anyone cooking goose for Christmas?

I would never put myself in a position where people would be inclined to tell me "your goose is cooked!"

 

[Farm Boy]

... it is more of an acknowledgement that there are considerations beyond the couple themselves.

Therein lies real beef.

 

[Zardnaar]

I didn't ask permission but got on great with my in-laws.

Basically got adopted into her family mines mostly dead.

Adopt a cat she said. Meow.

 

[Birdjaguar]

Our son-in-law came to us and told us he would propose to our daughter during an upcoming trip. We were thrilled and pleased. He didn't ask permission; he gave us a heads up so we could anticipate the excitement.