A Corrupt Wish

[SamSniped]

Granted, but one corruptibe one is so disgusting, you jump out a window.

I wish for some coffee.

 

[Logik]

@ General Olaf Granted i'll send my Ninjas out to everyone's bedroom that makes a uncorruptible wish and make em dissappear

@Samsniped you beat me to it.

Granted but is so bitter tasting it makes your jaw lock up.

I wish i had a spaceship so i can travel the stars and get away from this crazy world.

 

[Mosher]

Granted, but the solar radiation makes you ******** and you drive into the Sun.


I wish to rule over the British Empire of old.

 

[Great Overlord]

Granted. You have to manage it as it falls apart, and due to your mismanagement, within few years, it consists only of England.

I wish to archieve Godhood.

 

[Catharsis]

Granted. You are put in charge of an archive of various religious texts and relics from across history. It's a pretty cushy job, but you still ache with disappointment over what might have been, had you not left the genie a spelling-based loophole in your wish.

I wish I was super cool, like Jay-Z.

 

[Logik]

Granted but you realize that between his ugly grill,money hungry woman,and fading clothing line he is not as cool as you thought he was and rather be NAS.


I wish to be with a sexy brazilian chick on the beach.

 

[Optical]

Granted, and so is a tsunami.

I wish I was awesome at everything.

 

[rugbyLEAGUEfan]

Granted . Including falling over , gaining weight , attracting wasps and involuntary yodeling .

I wish I was a rock icon

 

[Mosher]

Granted. You are now an icon on a rock.


I wish to have a wish that isn't corrupted.

 

[Optical]

Granted, but you just used that wish, thus depriving yourself of the million dollars you wanted to wish for.

Including falling over , gaining weight , attracting wasps and involuntary yodeling

But it's AWESOME falling, awesome weight, awesome wasps and let's not forget awesome yodelling.

Speaking of which: I wish I could yodel and it sounded good.

 

[SamSniped]

You yodel so well, that the mountains all around the world simultaneously avalanche...including the one you happened to be standing on.

I wish to be GODZILLA!

 

[rugbyLEAGUEfan]

Granted . Roseanne Barr is Bridezilla

I wish i had the cast of Seinfeld at my disposal to do material on call.

 

[Mosher]

Granted, but they pee in your breakfast/lunch/dinner every day.

I wish the Soviet Union was still around.

 

[EnglishCrusader]

Granted, but the USA see them as a rising threat and start a global nuclear war, devastating the world.

I wish for a new game.

 

[GamezRule]

Granted. You lose the old and new game.

I wish for blue urine.

 

[Mosher]

Granted. It turns out you have a bacterial infection and you die three days later.


I wish S.T.A.L.K.E.R 2 was out.

 

[Yoshiegg737]

Granted. However, they only release 300 copies and you fail to get one of them.

I wish I could see through walls without any negative side-effects or damage to other living or non-living objects or myself

 

[Dhoomstriker]

Granted, yet everywhere that you look, you wish you hadn't... you see your sibling getting undressed, your grandparents engaging in "relations," and tens of thousands of ants, earwigs, spiders, and silverfish crawling throughout the now-invisible-to-you walls. You end up putting on a blindfold and never looking anywhere ever again.

I could go for a warm soft drink and some cold fries right about now.

 

[Mosher]

Granted, but it turns out the soft drink was radioactive and the fries had arsenic in them.

 

[W|M]

Mosher needs to make a wish.

@OP, this thread idea isn't new, there's been about a dozen re-enactments of this already.