jackelgull
An aberration of nature
Sorry for taking such a long break, I was forced to attend the Turkots re education camps known a school, a foreign import from Germany (Who says that the Europeans have nothing to offer to Middle Eastern dictators?) There I learned that up is down, down is up and that war is a bad thing
Anyways:
Before Suleiman announced his dictatorship, he took a poll to see if his citizens wanted a national theme song, the first and last time this dictator will give a fig about public opinion, No really Suleiman is giving out figs, imported from some unknown foreign location. I think the green is a bad sign though.
His citizens march in to the capital with slogans of democracy and freedom (impossible as liberalism hasn't even been teched yet.) Suleiman sweats, he doesn't know these bands, how can he decide? In reality, only two people actually voted and it was a tie. Using all the skills of politics he had at his disposal, Suleiman took a lesson from the Americans and shoved responsibility on to someone else.
He pointed to a random person in the crowd and asked, "What is your name?"
"I'm alternate reality Justin Bieber."
"Give us a theme song."
"Okay.
Oh baby..."
THe future subjects of the Turkot empire felt a collective shiver go down their spines as the most oppressive empire in the world gained the worst theme song in the world by the most disliked artist the world has to offer.
Initially the Turkots besieged Mailand but gave up and preferred to March on Rome( the alternative historical parallels are amazing) My government minder warns me not to create a paradox, that is the brit's thing with their doctor who.
Note: Ooops, wrong attachment for this one.
Meanwhile on a less important note, vermin get into the granary of Baghdad because of unsanitary government practices. Suleiman ponders whether to take any action over this, then resorts to his standard approach to domestic problems- he has his slaves... er advisors throws money at it. Not so different from the Americans in that regard.
March on Rome is complete, the empire moves on to take whatitsname (the author simply doesn't care enough to remember what its name before assimilation is) after the march on Rome is completed with government secrecy. No screenshots allowed. Suleiman wonders if he should raze the city to parade the fact before all those catholic nations that he burned their Holy City to a crisp, but his slaves/advisors restrain him reminding him that he doesn't want all the powers of Europe against him.
The breakthrough in German and Turkot relations came when the Fuhrer of farts realized something. P- Russia, Pee on Russia, Prussia was insulting Russia. And a childish taunt towards a barely agnostic civ is the perfect reason for the Turkots to sign a defensive pact with them.( and yes I did rip that off from Constantinople-the government moderator applauds me for this, because this is how the Turkots operate- no new ideas allowed, only old ones repeated in different ways. Don't have to be very different just a little bit. Why else don't we have liberalism?)
Suleiman begins to construct a fleet of privateers in Mecca to harass European shipping. In a standard display of government efficiency, most of them are scrapped and the ones that are built never see combat.
Thanks to the defensive pact with Germany, the Turkots got involved in a war with France. Suleiman prepared some popcorn and watched from the sidelines as the Spanish and Germans ripped the French to pieces. The French were barely saved from becoming the joke nation of Europe after the Spanish collapsed under its own weight and the French could walk back in its cities as Portugal gobbled up what remained of the Spanish empire. (The dubious title would have gone to Austrians had they not collapsed out of shame following the Turkot austria war)
Suleiman mouses over his eight unit SoD in Europe wondering if he can take the dutch with it then sends a stack of 4 cavalry to carry off their women in the towns as the dutch cower. (What else could he do? Carry of the men? That wouldn't nearly be so repressive). Incidentally the women also provided much of the hammers and commerce generated from the towns. With only men left, the Amsterdam is back in the stone age. Suleiman sues for peace and gets what left of the Dutch's treasury which is mostly rockshaped pennies.
Also Suleiman had the war with Iran to consider. This was more eventful then the European war. Hopelessly out matched the pathetic Iranian military operating on a shoe string budet (the soldiers were literally paid in shoe strings for their service. It was an upgrade from their stone budget of earlier and recruitment had never been higher)
The Turkot empire tries to soften Korea up with a small bribe to make it more willing to trade Scientific Method but no dice. Suleiman is puzzled as to why such a weak nation still exists, especially when existing next to the Chinese
Finally the capital is taken and Suleiman takes control of all the oil in the middle east( he's not suppose to know, we haven't gotten scientific method yet) and Iran is vassalized. To not make them the joke nation of Asia ,Suleiman takes an independent city and gifts it to them, then forces the Khmer out of one of theirs (Oh how Suleiman loves bullying civilizations smaller then him.)
More screen shots+candidates tomorrow. Jackelgull out.
Anyways:
Before Suleiman announced his dictatorship, he took a poll to see if his citizens wanted a national theme song, the first and last time this dictator will give a fig about public opinion, No really Suleiman is giving out figs, imported from some unknown foreign location. I think the green is a bad sign though.
His citizens march in to the capital with slogans of democracy and freedom (impossible as liberalism hasn't even been teched yet.) Suleiman sweats, he doesn't know these bands, how can he decide? In reality, only two people actually voted and it was a tie. Using all the skills of politics he had at his disposal, Suleiman took a lesson from the Americans and shoved responsibility on to someone else.
He pointed to a random person in the crowd and asked, "What is your name?"
"I'm alternate reality Justin Bieber."
"Give us a theme song."
"Okay.
Oh baby..."
THe future subjects of the Turkot empire felt a collective shiver go down their spines as the most oppressive empire in the world gained the worst theme song in the world by the most disliked artist the world has to offer.
Initially the Turkots besieged Mailand but gave up and preferred to March on Rome( the alternative historical parallels are amazing) My government minder warns me not to create a paradox, that is the brit's thing with their doctor who.
Note: Ooops, wrong attachment for this one.
Meanwhile on a less important note, vermin get into the granary of Baghdad because of unsanitary government practices. Suleiman ponders whether to take any action over this, then resorts to his standard approach to domestic problems- he has his slaves... er advisors throws money at it. Not so different from the Americans in that regard.
March on Rome is complete, the empire moves on to take whatitsname (the author simply doesn't care enough to remember what its name before assimilation is) after the march on Rome is completed with government secrecy. No screenshots allowed. Suleiman wonders if he should raze the city to parade the fact before all those catholic nations that he burned their Holy City to a crisp, but his slaves/advisors restrain him reminding him that he doesn't want all the powers of Europe against him.
The breakthrough in German and Turkot relations came when the Fuhrer of farts realized something. P- Russia, Pee on Russia, Prussia was insulting Russia. And a childish taunt towards a barely agnostic civ is the perfect reason for the Turkots to sign a defensive pact with them.( and yes I did rip that off from Constantinople-the government moderator applauds me for this, because this is how the Turkots operate- no new ideas allowed, only old ones repeated in different ways. Don't have to be very different just a little bit. Why else don't we have liberalism?)
Suleiman begins to construct a fleet of privateers in Mecca to harass European shipping. In a standard display of government efficiency, most of them are scrapped and the ones that are built never see combat.
Thanks to the defensive pact with Germany, the Turkots got involved in a war with France. Suleiman prepared some popcorn and watched from the sidelines as the Spanish and Germans ripped the French to pieces. The French were barely saved from becoming the joke nation of Europe after the Spanish collapsed under its own weight and the French could walk back in its cities as Portugal gobbled up what remained of the Spanish empire. (The dubious title would have gone to Austrians had they not collapsed out of shame following the Turkot austria war)
Suleiman mouses over his eight unit SoD in Europe wondering if he can take the dutch with it then sends a stack of 4 cavalry to carry off their women in the towns as the dutch cower. (What else could he do? Carry of the men? That wouldn't nearly be so repressive). Incidentally the women also provided much of the hammers and commerce generated from the towns. With only men left, the Amsterdam is back in the stone age. Suleiman sues for peace and gets what left of the Dutch's treasury which is mostly rockshaped pennies.
Also Suleiman had the war with Iran to consider. This was more eventful then the European war. Hopelessly out matched the pathetic Iranian military operating on a shoe string budet (the soldiers were literally paid in shoe strings for their service. It was an upgrade from their stone budget of earlier and recruitment had never been higher)
The Turkot empire tries to soften Korea up with a small bribe to make it more willing to trade Scientific Method but no dice. Suleiman is puzzled as to why such a weak nation still exists, especially when existing next to the Chinese
Finally the capital is taken and Suleiman takes control of all the oil in the middle east( he's not suppose to know, we haven't gotten scientific method yet) and Iran is vassalized. To not make them the joke nation of Asia ,Suleiman takes an independent city and gifts it to them, then forces the Khmer out of one of theirs (Oh how Suleiman loves bullying civilizations smaller then him.)
More screen shots+candidates tomorrow. Jackelgull out.
Also, subbed
