Going back and reading the responses on this thread, I am even more interested in hearing about the differences you seem to identify in appreciation of trans women from cis men versus trans men or trans women.
[RD] Ask a trans person II: 2 trans 2 sexual
- Thread starter sophie
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dusters
Emperor
Not sure if this was aimed at me or OP.
I am a de-transitioned MTF. I would love to find someone who is FTM, transitioned, de-transitioned or in any configuration. Most trans people in Latvia has used the rights to travel Europe freely and have emigrated to countries where you can get a free bottom surgery which is still about 10 - 14k euros AFAIK.
I don't plan posting on tinder that I have trans history, but I certainly would find communicating with women who understand gender dysphoria easier.
De-transitioned MTF means that your birth assignment was female, you transitioned to male and then de-transitioned back to female? Or is it the other way around? Or something else?
Yes it made sense to me that trans folk would see benefits in dating other trans persons for so many reasons, but my question was, given those dynamics, why would a trans woman specifically value being seen as attractive/beautiful and similar by a cis man?
dusters
Emperor
Birth assignment was male, I got orchiectomy and started hormones at 28 years old, de-transitioned at 35 years old...
I dunno, didn't apply to me, I dated lesbians. And yes, sure, they wanted all the correct body parts. And i wanted to be included. So many debates about women only spaces, should they include so called ex-men or not. I was included in lesbian online forums, in real life I had lesbian friends, I felt fine. After orchiectomy and growing breasts I felt even better.
So yes, the external validation is nice, but not necessary for me. I feel like I am made for marriage and if my dream woman wants me to have full surgery, I would have done it.
Turned out that my dream woman was asexual so it wasn't an issue.
I dunno, didn't apply to me, I dated lesbians. And yes, sure, they wanted all the correct body parts. And i wanted to be included. So many debates about women only spaces, should they include so called ex-men or not. I was included in lesbian online forums, in real life I had lesbian friends, I felt fine. After orchiectomy and growing breasts I felt even better.
So yes, the external validation is nice, but not necessary for me. I feel like I am made for marriage and if my dream woman wants me to have full surgery, I would have done it.
Turned out that my dream woman was asexual so it wasn't an issue.
So I had it reversed, I apologize. So de-transitioned MTF means you were assigned male, took transitioning steps for female, which included hormones and removing testis but not penis, as well as growing breasts, then after 7 years discontinued hormones, correct? So now you identify as female and lesbian but no longer take hormones?
Its good to hear you have a compatible partner. I am assuming that by asexual your partner does not identify as lesbian but please correct me if I am wrong.
dusters
Emperor
The first part is correct. I identify as bi-gender I guess. Not sure about correct label. Just 50% male, 50% female in every day expression, but I legally changed my name back to male name and I wear male attire now. And I take testosterone now, because after removal of testis my physical strength was abysmally low. I had problems climbing stairs or lifting anything heavier than 5 pounds.
She died. Passed away. But as in Queen song "Show must go on". And I should live for myself. Yea, sure, I wanna marry again, but I have to be 100% self-sustaining adult first.
She died. Passed away. But as in Queen song "Show must go on". And I should live for myself. Yea, sure, I wanna marry again, but I have to be 100% self-sustaining adult first.
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JohannaK
Heroically Clueless
Going off estrogen with an orchiectomy is akin to going through menopause, taking some form of sexual hormones is typically recommended to prevent the loss of bone density and other stuff.
I know plenty of asexual lesbians, because we ned to take intoaccount the romantic dimension of things as well, and the interplay between sexuality and romantic attraction is a big thing (in fact I know plenty of asexual people who are VERY kinky and do practice kink-related sexual activities, they just do not experience sexual attraction, but they can have a libido, asexuality is a world of its own).
I know plenty of asexual lesbians, because we ned to take intoaccount the romantic dimension of things as well, and the interplay between sexuality and romantic attraction is a big thing (in fact I know plenty of asexual people who are VERY kinky and do practice kink-related sexual activities, they just do not experience sexual attraction, but they can have a libido, asexuality is a world of its own).
Crap... so very sorry for you...
TIL I apparently don't know what asexuality is.
How can one be "asexual lesbian" then? Doesn't "lesbian" imply attraction to women??
There's more types of attraction than merely sexual - romantic (I'm in love with you), aesthetic (you look gorgeous), sensual (I'd love to cuddle with you) and platonic (I really want to be your friend).
Even if you might not want to have sex with someone, you could seek out a relationship (or experience attraction) in several other ways.
Even if you might not want to have sex with someone, you could seek out a relationship (or experience attraction) in several other ways.
dusters
Emperor
Crap... so very sorry for you...
TIL I apparently don't know what asexuality is.
How can one be "asexual lesbian" then? Doesn't "lesbian" imply attraction to women??
it is called homo-romantic.
raises hand Asexual lesbian here. Well, sapphic greysexual, if we're being more nuanced.
I'm not particularly into intercourse (though I've done it some, as part of two marriages). Naughty bits below the waist are fairly meh for me, mix in fluids and I get to 'averse'. But lesbian - I use 'sapphic' to make sure people understand I'm not purely into binary women - because I'm turned on by the female form, where the male equivalents are definitely not-hot. And, kinky as heck - into a lot of the usual BDSMy stuff plus some more er exotic layers on top of that that I won't go into here lest the mods get spurred to action.
I'm not particularly into intercourse (though I've done it some, as part of two marriages). Naughty bits below the waist are fairly meh for me, mix in fluids and I get to 'averse'. But lesbian - I use 'sapphic' to make sure people understand I'm not purely into binary women - because I'm turned on by the female form, where the male equivalents are definitely not-hot. And, kinky as heck - into a lot of the usual BDSMy stuff plus some more er exotic layers on top of that that I won't go into here lest the mods get spurred to action.
I hope you find someone again.
Klaus Hergersheimer
Emperor
When two people are discussing someone and refer to that person as "he" or "she" when they're there in the same room.
Perhaps I'm one of the few who finds this just as uncomfortable as apparently mis-labeling someone.
Perhaps not being on the receiving end of any "apparent mis-labeling" biases your findings a bit.
Cloud_Strife
Deity
So it's a purely you problem then
Klaus Hergersheimer
Emperor
So do you do what I described or not?
Crezth
i knew you were a real man of the left
Dude this thread is not about how weird you think being referred to in the third person in mixed company is. As a trans person my recommendation in this ask a trans thread is that you get out more and experience some ordinary conversation so you can appreciate it’s really not that weird.
fy00sh
Nonbinary | Peaceful Builder
- Joined
- Jun 24, 2020
- Messages
- 755
here's an example of this i encounter regularly working in retail at a big box store: i'm bagging groceries at a checklane, and I have the handheld barcode scanner. a customer stands in front of the cashier and goes to lift up a large case of water for the cashier to scan. the cashier then says "oh you can go ahead and leave that on your cart, once you pull forward they'll be able to scan that for you" and gestures at me.
except they usually don't say "they" even though i wear a large colorful pin next to my name tag that says "THEY/THEM". which is annoying, not because i'm being referred to in 3rd person, but rather because i'm being referred to with a wrong pronoun.
in fact, i think if instead the cashier said "oh you can go ahead and leave that on your cart, and" [turning to me] "fy00sh, you can go ahead and scan it when" [turning back to customer] "you pull forward", i would find that even more annoying than if they simply migendered me
Er, yes, consensually. I'm just completely mystified as to why you think it's relevant enough to bring it up in a thread titled 'LGBTQ News'.
GenMarshall
High Elven ISB Capt & Ghost Agent
Not to get nitpicky or anything. Last I checked “They’ll” is a contraction of “they shall, they will”, so what makes the use of “they’ll” to be considered wrong pronoun use? Since when I read the words, I read it as "oh you can go ahead and leave that on your cart, once you pull forward they shall be able to scan that for you" (I’m using they shall in this context since it’s more polite than the commanding “they will”).
