I don't think where you settled gold is much of an issue either way. Net effect is pretty much the same. (I had settled one N of oasis myself probably just thinking about the wines which really are not that much to think about, but in a food poor city it is something..conversely, you spared a green farm-able tile). There is logic in having more forest to chop. The big question here is why are you not chopping gold city? Library? Granary? This city's main focus right now is growing from oasis to completed gold tile for the commerce boost, which it will work continuously and indefinitely. The grass farm is low priority over chopping a cheap library (to boost that commerce) here and the granary. In the short term, farming that tile is wasted worker turns...city ain't gonna work it for quite a long time.
Diplo/Spying - For spying, I'd keep it simple at this point. Focus EP on EP screen toward one target AI by changing weight to 1. Generally that target, for me, is a good teching AI. You do this to see what they are teching which helps facilitate trades later among other things like judging tech pace. I think you have done this with Sury, he's decent. Most FIN leaders are good targets (Rags probably being an exception), and IMP leaders are always strong (Justy, Joao, Cathy), but if Mansa is on the map he is always a given. Not only is he generally the best techer in the game, but he is the friendliest of traders. You want to know what he is doing...his tech decisions can majorly impact yours. Mansa on a map where most AIs are going to meet each other reasonably early means ...generally..that a game going to have faster overall tech place. Mansa is the only AI that trades indiscriminately - with AI or human.
As for Diplo, it can get complex, but there are some rather simple things to keep in mind. Open Borders is a given. It will build up to +2 relations over time. But note Worst Enemies as you might have to navigate around this. Some AIs are notoriously disliked, but even more complex is Peaceweights. AIs have different Peace Weights. Think of the Montys, Rags, Nappys, Shakas, and then think of the Gandhi's, Mansa's, Darius's. These groups always dislike the others. Warmongers vs. peaceniks. So sometimes you have to choose a side as best suits your game, or simply to keep those that are neighbors happy. And depending on the mix, one type of group may far outweigh the other. An, ofc, religion can be a major factor especially among those leaders more zealous in nature. Very hard to get on Izzy's good side unless you share her religion..and well, whether you choose to get on her good side depends entirely on your goals, or what benefits you most. It's a decision you sometimes have to make. So to point, I generally open borders with everyone unless doing so with a particular AI would be more problematic, or even dangerous. It may not be worth it to maintain that relationship while other AI are requesting or demanding you cease it. On the other hand, oftentimes I just don't care as I feel confident in my position and rather would have the foreign trade routes, resource/gold trades and tech trades. (Keep track of WEs as well, as they can change) I'd also note that some leaders have basically neutral peaceweights like Justy, Zara and Joao....interestingly those 3 are pretty effective AIs too. Wang, DeGaulle, and Brennus some to have a lot of diplo issues (with most AIs), and then there is..um..Toku.
edit: Major point that I'm not sure I made clear above, is that you should start to really get to know the leaders in the game. You have some experience with the game and the leaders. You know Shaka wants to kill you, and Gandhi wants to be your friend. But I mean really get to know them. They are all coded differently. Things like Gandhi will never plot at Pleased. Mansa is a huge peacnik and does not like to fight wars, but..hey..he can and will plot war at Pleased. Cathy is the only AI in the game that can be bribed into war at Friendly. Boudi loves to fight, but she never will with you if she is Pleased with you. Not sure if you are familiar with this strat article, but it helps a lot:
https://forums.civfanatics.com/threads/civ-illustrated-1-know-your-enemy.478563/
Other things that help. Religion, of course. Choose a religious bloc or even ignore religion for the time being. Religion can have nice benefits like the civics, especially OR and Pacifism, but sometimes it can be best to just not adopt one until things sort themselves out and you feel comfortable joining one. Try though not to be odd man out though religion wise. Ha...I've seen new players come on here so keen on founding and adopting their early religion and then asking why everyone else is attacking them. Trade resources as soon as you can. Generally, you are not going to trade single happy resources, but single health resources? Sure, if I"m healthy enough. And if your leader is EXP you have a lot more leeway here on giving up single health resources for a while just to get that trade modifier building, which takes time to reach +1 and then +2. And once Currency is in (important tech), always look to trade extra resources for GPT...very important. That is gold for you as well as the trade bonus over time. Fair trade bonus up to +4 comes as you trade techs to AIs especially when more in their favor, which is really not that hard to do if you are tracking things closely, especially when Currency is in. Definitely trade old junk techs for chunks of gold. Good for you for teching, but good for relations. But even relatively newer tech can be traded or gifted if otherwise not giving up some advantage, especially on higher levels. The good meticulous players around here check that trade screen every turn, and pull up diplo screens to gauge tech trades to see whether AIs are close to a particular tech. Idea here is that if they are going to finish it anyway, then get some gold for it or even just gift it. You'll not only keep the Fair Trade bonus up, but eventually hit a new diplo modifier called "You share your technology with us" (Each AI has a different cap on # of tech from, I think, 7 to like 20 but the bonus has no limit as far as I know other than total techs in the game divided by said cap). Not a major bonus as it does take a while to hit for many AIs, but it IS there. Shared war is another thing, ofc, and like religion, how it grows with another AI seems directly related to the type of leader.
And lastly, I'd like to add more to My's comments about the slider above. Yep, this is actually a pretty big thing for newer players to understand. Definitely, do not get caught up with slider percentage. Once you settle your first city, you are going to hit deficit research. So for some time simply get used to the 0% or 100% slider guideline. Run 0% until you have just enough gold to finish the next tech, then boom 100%. Rinse/repeat. For one, you are funding your expansion. But also, need to explain that there is a rounding issue with beakers/gold the is remedied by running at min/max. This will get remedied later once you have more multipliers in place, as well as being able to get access to chunks of gold. We can try to point this out to you later, but you can see this pretty clearly in your game. Move slider to 0% and note beakers vs. gpt. Now try 10% and check beakers vs gpt. It does not add up does it. That will change, but probably not until you have your first academy and running a few scientists around.
One other thing, you do know that your scout can be used as a spawnbuster, right? After initial scouting for city spots he should be a buster for some time, at least until everything is secure.
ha ha..that is great about your son..is he old enough play yet?
edit: ha..still glancing back up at your post and looking at things, so thoughts still pop up after I post something.
One thing to be think about is Aksum and what it should be doing vs. what other cities are doing. Aksum is your cap, and very good cottage bureau cap at that. It is still early so you are still in expansion mode. But once you settle a couple of strong cities..namely the food cities, those cities can start taking the brunt of expansion needs, i.e., settlers, workers, or even units as need.
Point is that once those cities are set up, Aksum should focus on getting that first Library, which honestly with a Creative leader should already be built with some well timed settler whips and chops. Then, get that city working 2 scientists asap for that academy in Aksum which will definitely payoff huge in a nice city like this and go bonkers later with Bureaucracy. So early, once library is in, Aksum will focus less on those cottages and more on getting that first GS. That is what this nice helper cities do for you. They keep that those cottages growing during this time...not that Aksum can't work some too, ofc...just depends on the happy cap coming out of the previous whipping, but it will get there. Other good food cities can run scientists as well once things stabilize expansion wise)
Likewise, I'd really like to see those two other nearby cities by now. Gondar should have no forests. Can Lali grow to 4 and whip that settler?
And I saw some comments about happy cap. Yes, you generally avoid running unhappies for long. You pay for each citizen. However, an unhappy citizen is still a citizen and still worth 30H, so don't be afraid to grow into unhappy temporarily to whip something, although in that case it should be a 2popper or 3 popper.
Although I'd at least chop a Lib in gold city, as well as get it to size 2 for the gold tile, technically that city is good for a settler there simply from chopping forests. Don't they say "chop forests, ask questions later"
another edit..cause that is what I do: Be careful trading for cheap techs like Myst, Fishing or cheap religious techs. You have trade caps with AIs - all different - that cause one to hit "WFYABTA"..we fear you are becoming too advanced. Those techs you will probably tech in one turn soon or very quickly so don't bother trading for those. You want to always be able to make important trades later, so don't add to that cap with cheap techs. (You probably do want to tech Fishing soon for that city...later Sailing is something I don't mind trade for..especially for trade routes)