Being George Dubya

[Tragdor]

You wake up tommorw only to find that the house your staying at is 1600 Pennslyiana Ave Washington D.C. You see yourself in the mirror and YOU are George W Bush. What would you do? If you idealogy is different how would you explian you sudden change of belives?

 

[CurtSibling]

Say I have turned pagan and have decided to make Odin the god of America.

Then I would take great pleasure in having Rumsfeldt shot.

 

[Sh3kel]

Bomb Iraq.
Oh, wait.

 

[Johann MacLeod]

i would include ashcroft in that list of people shot.

 

[WillJ]

Suddenly convert to Hinduism, just to see how America reacts.

Then resign.

 

[John-LP]

Let`s see...

I would spend billions more on the military so my buddies in military industrial complex could make money off more contracts even though the programs like Nat`l Missile Defense are failures and don`t address the most immediate threat of nuclear attack (IE terrorist suitcase nuke). We can go to war every 10 years to keep their wallets nice and fat...Oh wait thats been done already

OK, I would lie and say I have definitive proof that a country like Iraq has WMD and will hand them off to terrorists that will attack us so my citizenry will support a war on that nation. Oh wait thats been done already

Damn, Well how about starving Iraq into submission for 12 years and letting the infrastructure fall apart so I can take over the country when its completely trashed and award the rebuilding contracts to my buddies so they can get even richer and donate more money to my campaign? Wait thats been done too...hmm

How about I cut taxes for really rich people and and increase government spending in general so I can drive the deficit up so my buddies in the Federal Reserve (a private corporation) can make more money off of the interest it earns them...wait thats been going on for years and years and years....hmmmmmm

How about.....I round up some pretty interns and have sex with them then lie to a grand jury about it? GRRRRR been done!

How about I try to assasinate a foriegn head of state 80 or more times, illegally....dammit, been done

How about...I take away youre right to a trial by jury and due process, by passing a law that says I can do so and all I have to do is claim you are a terrorist, I can also put in that law that we can monitor what books you take out of a library....wait that was done too...

How about I pass an Income Tax law and claim it is just for the duration of a war or something then let it ride and take people`s money illegally for 60 years....ugh, been done...

How about I illegally incarcerate a whole race of people in interment camps for 4 or 5 years just because their ancestoral country attacked us? No damn thats been done too...several times

How about I spend more money on other bullsh*t that isnt neccessary while the schools are failing in the city that my former self lived in...in fact they are threatening to shut them down and leave more than 10,000 children behind and all this after I ran a campaign proclaiming "no child left behind"....wait, we`re in the process of doing that already, good good

How about I make politics in this country so hopeless and predictable that the other 50% of the population doesnt vote either...thats an idea

Need I say more?

 

[Cimbri]

I would get myself a harem… Then forget about everything else…

 

[Ohwell]

I'd issue a public apology to all nations and people of the world, and promise to be a team player in world peace.

 

[CurtSibling]

I would also make my name officially 'Dubya'.

And do something about that hair, dammit.

 

[Perfection]

I'd go streaking!

 

[CurtSibling]

I would wear a Wehrmacht uniform and shout: "WeinProben!" after every sentence.

And then imprison anyone who looked at me funny...

 

[Thadlerian]

I'd issue a ban for those pesky little Segway scooters

 

[Perfection]

What is "Wehrmacht" and "WeinProben" ?

 

[MrPresident]

I would prank call Jacque Chirac.

 

[JollyRoger]

I'd declare SUV drivers enemy combatants on the War on Terror an put the limits of the PATRIOT Act to the test. I'd place a hefty tax on the purchase and display of American flags, flag decals, etc. True patriots would not mind proving their patriotism in a way that helps fund the diplomatic and miltary shennigans necessary to preserve the American way. I'd appoint William Bennett Virtue Czar and see what he can do about setting up Federally run casinos. I'd mess around with better looking interns that Clinton did. I'd pre-emptively pardon my family members from the inevitible 3rd strikes that would mean mandatory jail time. I'd see if my landing on the carrier helped me complete my Texas Air National Guard requirements & if not, I'd get us involved in a war in Vietnam so I can complete my Vietnam era commitments from the safety of the Oval Office.

 

[CurtSibling]

Originally posted by Perfection
What is "Wehrmacht" and "WeinProben" ?

Wehrmacht:
German Army of WW2.

WeinProben:
It's best you don't know...

 

[Johann MacLeod]

I would also change the official language to French, just to irritate people, then I would redo our military uniforms to more reflect the styles of 1750.

 

[nixon]

Commence somekind of amusing leftie persecution orgie, to get some air. Ahhh. HEAVEN.

Waiting for your rolleyes, etc.

 

[Cilpot]

@ nixon:

I guess I agree with Thadlerian. Ban those Scooters

 

[CurtSibling]

Originally posted by nixon
Commence somekind of amusing leftie persecution orgie, to get some air. Ahhh. HEAVEN.

Waiting for your rolleyes, etc.

So if you were Bush, you would utter these kind of maxims?

And I thought my idea was weird!