Bible-based action figures

[cubsfan6506]

When I was in england I actually saw some of these in a little magazine stop in a train stop.

 

[silver 2039]

I've seen religious dildos before. Are those sacriligious?

Hmm.....I've always wondered what it would be like to be sodomized by Jesus. Where can I find these wonderful devices?

Moderator Action: That's inappropriate and trolling - warned.
Please read the forum rules: http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=422889

 

[Gilder]

Wal-Mart, where else?

 

[Wolfe Tone]

The Jesus that Jermemy Clarkson brought to the North Pole on the latest Top Gear special was pretty cool. But I've always wanted to get a Buddy Chris for my dashboard

 

[Elrohir]

I think I'll wait for the "Night Attack" Jesus with super-smiting action. (AKA, a red plastic stick that shoots out of his arm when you press a button on his arm) Or Jesus: The Return action figure, straight out of Revelations, with a robe dipped in blood and a rod of iron to rule the nations with.

I would seriously buy those. Those would be so awesome.

 

[Eran of Arcadia]

Brings new meaning to the term "Jesus Camp", I guess.

 

[The Yankee]

I'd still rather have Buddy Jesus:

I think I'll wait for the "Night Attack" Jesus with super-smiting action.

I prefer the one where the sword comes from his mouth or however that one is supposed to go.

 

[Elrohir]

I'd still rather have Buddy Jesus:

I prefer the one where the sword comes from his mouth or however that one is supposed to go.

I'm pretty sure the sword comes out of the mouth of the Revelations Jesus, so it would go with the whole blood-dipped robe and iron scepter and all that.

 

[C~G]

Or something like this?

Add GI Joe helmet and you got yourself perfect populist figure.

I can BTW see religious people having real trouble of marketing God figure compared to Satan if the figures would be really be based into the images in previous page.

But of course, this is one of the things how to make your nation's religion look even more foolish than it could be ever by any satirist.

 

[civverguy]

I want one of Samson so I can smite the evil Philistines again.

You can do that with Civ.

 

[Aramazd]

This is cool!! I'm not going to buy them, but if I got them as a gift I wouldn't complain.`

 

[downtown]

These have been on sale in Utah for a while. You can also get Book of Mormon action figures.

 

[klazlo]

Yep, I've seen a JAF (Jesus Action Figure) in Flagstaff last year. It was really cool, and I remember it had no accessories, since he did not need any.
Too bad I did not buy one then.

 

[Hundegesicht]

I'm pretty sure the sword comes out of the mouth of the Revelations Jesus, so it would go with the whole blood-dipped robe and iron scepter and all that.

I was in the Spirit on the Lord's day, and heard behind me a great voice, as of a trumpet,
Saying, I am Alpha and Omega, the first and the last: and, What thou seest, write in a book, and send it unto the seven churches which are in Asia; unto Ephesus, and unto Smyrna, and unto Pergamos, and unto Thyatira, and unto Sardis, and unto Philadelphia, and unto Laodicea.
And I turned to see the voice that spake with me. And being turned, I saw seven golden candlesticks;
And in the midst of the seven candlesticks one like unto the Son of man, clothed with a garment down to the foot, and girt about the paps with a golden girdle.
His head and his hairs were white like wool, as white as snow; and his eyes were as a flame of fire;
And his feet like unto fine brass, as if they burned in a furnace; and his voice as the sound of many waters.
And he had in his right hand seven stars: and out of his mouth went a sharp twoedged sword: and his countenance was as the sun shineth in his strength.
And when I saw him, I fell at his feet as dead. And he laid his right hand upon me, saying unto me, Fear not; I am the first and the last: I am he that liveth, and was dead; and, behold, I am alive for evermore, Amen; and have the keys of hell and of death.

Honestly, that'd be a frikkin cool Jesus to own.

And, I couldn't help but notice:

James Dobson's going to have a cow over those two.

 

[The Yankee]

I'm pretty sure the sword comes out of the mouth of the Revelations Jesus, so it would go with the whole blood-dipped robe and iron scepter and all that.

That'd be the one. Coming soon to Wal-Mart for $12.99.

 

[Elrohir]

Seriously - I would pay good money for a toy like that.

 

[QuoVadisNation]

I for one can't WAIT for my Issac and Rebekah dolls!



Surely they'll both come in a pair

and surely one of them won't be eight years old

: D

 

[Erik Mesoy]

I want one or two, they sound cool!

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Bets that the Jesus figure will look like the reconstructed 1st century Israelite, being taken now, odds of 8 to 1.

Bets that the Jesus figure will look like a white male with long hair, also being taken now, odds of 10 to 9.

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Where can I find these wonderful devices?

Ask me on MSN.

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These have been on sale in Utah for a while. You can also get Book of Mormon action figures.

Link and/or pictures, please?

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"I'll be back" These are the words spoken by the action figure Jesus.

That was so bad, it was good.

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optimus prime vs. moses.

battle of the century.

Not even battle of the year, IMO. It'll go one of two ways in the first move:
a) Optimus Prime kills Moses with some superweapon. Moses goes to Heaven.
b) God is with Moses, who lifts his staff and causes Optimus Prime to be smitten/smited.
Either way, their strengths are so different that it will not be one of those let's-have-a-twenty-minute-action-scene things that appear so often between superheroes.

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i want a transformers jesus that transforms from a cross to a robotic jesus with rocket launchers.

Don't be silly. Transformers Jesus turns into bread and wine.

 

[ohcrapitsnico]

The problem with this is that we have no idea what they actually looked like.

Well we know one thing and that is they weren't white.

I don't see any benefit in this really, just of how this might get out of hand. I'm not entirely sure if the people who made these action figure had good or bad ones because of the very nature of this.

 

[JollyRoger]

That 1st century Jesus looks like he should be searched at the airport.