Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by emzie, Jan 7, 2011.
Might not have be what happens often now, but that's the symbolism of the act, yes.
My parents spent about $200 on their wedding and they were married for a little over 15 years I think. My Dad spent $10,000 for my sister's wedding and she divorced 8 months later. He was pretty upset about it. Her 2nd wedding her and her husband paid for it and they've been married ever since.
When I was in Azerbaijan they had the most annoying custom. They invite a large amount of people to weddings and everyone is expected to give money, at least around $100. My BF doesn't make much money but he was invited to about 7 weddings in a month which means spending about $700. I told him he should just not go or make up an excuse but he said - in Azerbaijan isn't possible-. If someone attended your wedding or your relatives wedding you are obligated to go. I went to two weddings and there was a large amount of good food and vodka which made up for it but it's not something I could afford every week. Fortunately the next month was Muharram during which weddings are forbidden.
Strangely, while the wedding halls there are always very nice looking, the bathrooms are usually nasty with foul smelling squat toilets.
Do you have to bring this up so often? Personal finances and professional economics have little relation to each other.
I think everyone took my joke far too seriously.
You would think that, but my father has worked in the finance business for all of his life and he is the last person I would want to trust with money, since he really does not fully understand how it works, even though he has made a lot of it. If he had been prudent enough, he could have retired by now and still be very wealthy, but he "has to" work long weeks and then take big holidays to relieve the pressure and the the cycle stasrts itself again. So unfortunately it is not always true, but you are definitely one who is good with his money.
I'm sure some astrologers know a bit about astronomy too
symbolism is what you make of it. It may be your symbolism, but it certainly wasn't ours.
Another thing to keep in mind about wedding bills: if you're going to have a bar at the reception, it's entirely possible to go buy a bunch of liquor wholesale, and just hire a bartender to serve it all (there's special licenses for these types of things). I've had friends who've pulled that manouevre, and they've made a few thousand dollars back - and the booze wasn't even expensive.
You do not even need to be intelligent to realize that spending tens of thousands of dollars on a party is too much money. Everyone knows this, but lavish weddings still go on for 2 reasons:
1. tradition, especially religious. The ceremony especially often involves religious officiants and various rituals which are considered obligatory to make a marriage good. Any lapse in this is taken with trepidation and an invitation to a bad marriage.
2. Many women love lavish weddings because it allows them to plan a large and opulent event, and gain attention and envy from their friends and family.
My wife and I did not have a big wedding. We got married in a courtroom by a judge, and then went out to a nice dinner, which, although in an expensive restaurant, was still paltry compared to any amount one could spend on a wedding. Best of all, we had plenty of money left over to afford a good honeymoon, which is the best wedding gift of all.
Any couple these days would be stupid to spend money on a large and lavish wedding.
Why would I want to attend a wedding where I have to pay for booze?
what's the median cost of a wedding? I think a few outliers are pushing up the average, because i just can't see ~50% of people being able to afford 20k for a wedding, and I don't think banks are likely to give out a loan for one.
That said I don't get lavish ceremonies, but even a church wedding with an average wedding dress, typical cake, and reception for about 100 people is rather expensive.
People (middle-class & upper-middle-class) in America are narcissistic & grandiose (in general).
Personally if I ever got married (unlikely) I could see spending up to a g to rent a space, maybe get my buddy to DJ.
I would want to prepare the food myself. No liquor, no drawn out ceremony, just a quick, meaningful one & then a bunch of causal hanging out, dancing & socializing.
I wouldn't want anyone I didn't know there (waiters, photographers, etc.), I would have people among my friends take pictures & I would cook myself & clean up myself (probably again with help from friends).
It's a celebration for the merging of two families. We had a wedding of about 150 people, but we did it on the cheap (about 10K, yes, that is cheap these days, especially for where we did it and the number of people we had.) It's one of the few times in your life that you have an excuse to bring together all the people you love and to party with all of them at the same time, and when you and your wife are the reason for making everyone so happy, it's kind of a special feeling.
It was the best day of my life, no joke. If wedding day was a drug I would probably shoot it up and be living in a cardboard box, begging for money to get more of it.
I've pleaded poverty enough to where it went from around a $5,000 target, with catering and such, to maybe $2,000 and asking anyone who wants to do a gift to send cash, since we already have furniture and such.
That's still a significant amount of our take-home pay...but much more manageable.
If we ever break out of lower middle class, then maybe we can do the fancy party sometime later.
In Scotland, it's an excuse for various middle-aged male uncles to wear skirts, get drunk and tell rude jokes. I, for one, support the tradition, on the basis that I will one day be a middle-aged male uncle.
I see weddings as a sort of Casual Sex Funeral. And they also tell the parents that they *might* be grandparents soon, which is about the number one thing that the parents of adults want. So those things border on the "meaning of life" which apparently justifies the cost of a wedding.
I thought the Scottish didn't need excuses for that.
It's the skirts that tips it.
Big weddings as conspicuous consumption: You do it to show that you can.
An excuse for epic parties
The cheez and crackers at mine will show everyone I can't.
I don't understand the multi-million-dollar weddings. But that extends to birthday parties, New Year's parties, and blow-lots-of-cash parties.
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