Can you have a soulmate of the gender you aren't hot for?

[downtown]

I think you really need both! There are certain kinds of companionship that I'm not totally sure you can get with your girlfriend, although I'm not totally sure I can articulate it very well. It's nice to have "beer, sports and talk about girls" dude friends, since those are conversations that you can't really have with other women, no matter how close you are...but me and my closest dude friends talk about more complicated and emotional subjects than that.

I think that if the only comfort my girlfriend was giving was the proverbial backrub and "it'll be okay baby" sort of thing though...I wouldn't stay with her that long.

 

[Wolfbeckett]

Depending on how you define soulmate, I guess you could. Jay and Silent Bob are "hetero life partners", that's pretty much what you're talking about I think.

 

[Tani Coyote]

I consider soul mate to be a romantic concept, so no. You must logically be able to pursue romance with that person.

That said, that doesn't mean you can't draw strength from a person of the same sex. In that case, it'd be a friend whose become so close he's more like your brother.

 

[MobBoss]

We'd have to establish that both humans and dogs have souls to be matched in such a way.

Hmmm. What I get from your comment is that one has to believe in a 'soul' in order to have a 'soulmate' type of relationship. Correct?

Anyway, I dont think a soulmate relationship is predicated by sex or romance (although it could very well contain those elements). Fwiw, I think a soulmate is more along the lines of a 'Best Friend Forever' kind of relationship. Kind of like a Kirk/Spock thing if you ask me, but, if you were very fortunate, your BFF could also be your spouse. Those that find their soulmates in a romantic relationship are probably the most fortunate people on the planet.

 

[Farm Boy]

Sexual relations not required for soulmate status, no.

 

[warpus]

To me a soulmate is somebody who you can look at across the room at and just *understand* without having to speak. Somebody who groks you and who you grok. If that happens to be a male, so be it, he will make an excellent friend. I won't tell anyone that he's my soulmate, but that's beside the point

 

[Farm Boy]

+1 for incorporating grok into this discussion.

 

[Takhisis]

A bit like Turk-JD in Scrubs, you mean?

 

[Boundless]

A bit like Turk-JD in Scrubs, you mean?

YES. That's the perfect example.

 

[galdre]

Interesting question. Bonding with someone has nothing to do with gender IMO. My partner is definitely my soul mate, but I know that was just a matter of luck.

 

[warpus]

A bit like Turk-JD in Scrubs, you mean?

I stopped watching that show a couple years ago, but I think that is a good example.

Or like, me and MobBoss *hugs*

 

[NovaKart]

You could use the phrase platonic life partner.

 

[MobBoss]

I stopped watching that show a couple years ago, but I think that is a good example.

Or like, me and MobBoss *hugs*

I think you just watered down the meaning of soul-mate to the point of utter dilution.

 

[Rashiminos]

Hmmm. What I get from your comment is that one has to believe in a 'soul' in order to have a 'soulmate' type of relationship. Correct?

Not exactly. A 'soul' may be a 4-letter stand-in for a set of traits that would distinguish a mate from a soulmate.

There seems to be the familiar pondish divide in this thread over whether a mate is a friend or a spouse.

Edit: Or maybe I need to re-read the OP instead of chasing my own tangent.


Which brings me to a different answer.
The practical answer is no. You have limitations, and you won't consider stepping over them for a friend. Is your friend more important to you than yourself? Don't lie.

 

[warpus]

I think you just watered down the meaning of soul-mate to the point of utter dilution.

Dude, it is SO over

 

[Kozmos]

To me a soulmate is somebody who you can look at across the room at and just *understand* without having to speak. Somebody who groks you and who you grok. If that happens to be a male, so be it, he will make an excellent friend. I won't tell anyone that he's my soulmate, but that's beside the point

This.

But then I get drunk and have these outbursts of crying and declarations of life-debt and love to my best bro and all. (because the man really did save me from the loony bin) Quite embarrassing.

 

[SerriaFox]

Soul mate doesn't have to be your wife/husband. But wife/husbands who are is a stronger bond.

I think evolution does favor this.

 

[Perfection]

Define "soulmate"

 

[phoenix_sprite]

Define "soulmate"

Not to be a smart -as$ but

soul mate
 
–noun
a person with whom one has a strong affinity.

I think that a platonic soul-mate is totally realistic. I'd rather use "greatest of friends (or BFF)" since soul-mate implies romance in itself.

 

[Pokurcz]

I have never realy thought of it in "Soul mate" terms but my wife is my soulmate, she totaly like "completes me".

But at the same time I have four realy close male friends (and one female), that I feel a similar love towards, whom I also have lots of respect fore and that I, when I meet them, sometimes feel a pang of how awesome they are. It's like this conectedness that is very close to a "crush" at times.

So how many "soulmates" can one have?