Comedy Improv One-Liner Contest Thread, Part Two

[Lord of Elves]

Life is like a thread in Off Topic...

Life is like a thread in Off Topic, potentially dangerous to your health and almost always endorsing socialism.

 

[Fr8monkey]

Life is like a thread in Off Topic... Full of Trolls.

 

[Kennigit]

Life is like a thread in Off Topic: there is no God there.

 

[Lord Baal]

Life is like a thread in Off Topic: completely nonsensical and depressing.

 

[classical_hero]

Life is like a thread in Off Topic: full of people who think the know everything, but know nothing.

 

[Perfection]

Life is like a thread in Off Topic: Once Narz shows up it's never the same.

 

[kill fire]

Life is like a thread in OT: those who can figure it out with logic do, those who can't, troll.

 

[madviking]

Life is like a thread in OT: No one knows where Poland is.

 

[Narz]

Life is like a thread in Off Topic: Once Narz shows up it's never the same.

Perfection wins. Not because he mentioned me but because his was the most surprising & amusing (and true ).

 

[Perfection]

Perfection wins. Not because he mentioned me but because his was the most surprising & amusing (and true ).

Yeah right.


When life gives you lemons...

 

[Frank Drebin]

make free lemon juice for everyone.

 

[madviking]

When life gives you lemons...squeeze me baby, till the juice runs down my leg.

 

[Bobbtjoe]

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade! Assuming, of course, that life also gives you sugar and water.

 

[Kennigit]

When life gives you lemons, employ small children to squeeze the lemons to make your lemonade. Ssssssh, don't tell those children about the scary "minimum wage" or "humane working conditions."

 

[Zack]

When life gives you lemons, tell life to give you apples next time.

Also, Bobbtjoe's cheating because he's quoting someone....

 

[Narz]

Yeah right.

Last time I try to complement you.

When life gives you lemons...

Exchange them at the supermarket for grapefruit.

 

[Lord of Elves]

When life gives you lemons create a chemical substance capable of inflaming lemonade and then burn life's house down. Serves it right.

 

[Fr8monkey]

When life gives you lemons...

Find someone with Rum and make Hell on Earth

 

[kill fire]

When life gives you lemons, re-gift them to life at a later holiday.

 

[Lord Baal]

When life gives you lemons, trade them for crack.

What do you mean, is that something I came up with myself? Of course it is.