Correct to be kind

[Bozo Erectus]

Not just here in OT, but in your interactions with friends, families and coworkers, which do you feel is most important: to be correct, or to be kind? Have you ever stopped yourself in mid argument, because you realize that in your zeal to show how correct you are (and how wrong the other person is), youve stopped educating, and have instead turned into a bully, and are being unkind?

 

[azzaman333]

I just use sarcasm too much that I can't be taken seriously if I insult someone in an argument.

 

[bhsup]

Kindness rules. I feel bad because I frequently let it slip here in CFC OT. I thnk it has something to do with the nature of our interaction here. I never really meet any of you.

 

[pboily]

I'm reminded of something I witnessed when I was volunteering at a hospital's kid wing.

Around Christmas-time, they have one of the staff dress-up as Santa Claus: he brings presents to the kids whose have to stay in for a long time. One of the patients (not sure about his age, close to 14-15) kept on telling the kids that the Old Man did not exist and that it was just a disguised staffer. Technically, he was correct, but one kids' reaction was priceless: something to the effect that they all "knew" SC didn't exist, but it was fun to pretend. (A very particular poster comes across as that teenager in religious discussions...)

Those who strive for kindness are very often correct as well, but those who strive for correctness are rarely kind (and in my experience, they often fail at being correct as well...).

I've seen it in colleagues too: the mathematicians that are more likely to make mistakes are the ones who kill students for making them. Could they wear their insecurities on their sleeves any more obviously...

 

[PrinceOfLeigh]

I prefer to be kind. I've often heard friends and family make comments that I know to be false but I've not corrected them.

No one likes a smart-arse do they?

 

[Ramius75]

Not just here in OT, but in your interactions with friends, families and coworkers, which do you feel is most important: to be correct, or to be kind? Have you ever stopped yourself in mid argument, because you realize that in your zeal to show how correct you are (and how wrong the other person is), youve stopped educating, and have instead turned into a bully, and are being unkind?

indeed, when i first join the forum, i wanted to show ppl how wrong it is to support bush, but after a long time of talking, i think im becoming more of a bully recently, but not there yet.

 

[aimeeandbeatles]

I'd rather people do a balance between the too. Be honest, but 'soften the blow'. (that looks weird when typed out)

 

[El_Machinae]

My desire to be correct is blunted by my lack of desire to be forced to drink hemlock.

 

[Perfection]

Neither, I'm a devious lying jerk.

 

[Brighteye]

Correct of course. Why pretend to be a dolt just to make other people feel better?
I certainly like to find out new things, and if someone knew but hadn't told me when I was espousing a different idea I'd be annoyed that he hadn't spoken.

 

[classical_hero]

It is better to tell the truth than to lie, because a the truth might hurt, but a lie hurts even more. Obviously there are situations where it is correct to be kind, because there are some things that you need to show kindness to.

 

[Irish Caesar]

If you are correct but never kind, you end up on ignore lists, and then nobody learns anything.

 

[Jawz II]

I dunno man, I try to be cool, but sometimes I get really really pissed, I can't help it.

I'll keep trying.

 

[stormbind]

I dunno. I try to be honest.. which equates to correct.. and I get really hurt if someone does not believe me.

And if I'm really hurt, then I get angry and scarey

I am just really sick of people - I feel like giving up! Hence why I'm posting here today.

 

[Bengalsfan58]

It really isn't that hard to be both. Sometimes it takes work but I find the majority of the time it is very easy.

 

[Harbringer]

Depending on the situation, if its casual conversation im a natural empath, i just give in, let them feel rite regardless, and make them feel better. If its a situation where it needs to be told like it is, it will.

 

[Elrohir]

Not just here in OT, but in your interactions with friends, families and coworkers, which do you feel is most important: to be correct, or to be kind? Have you ever stopped yourself in mid argument, because you realize that in your zeal to show how correct you are (and how wrong the other person is), youve stopped educating, and have instead turned into a bully, and are being unkind?

A balance is important. Unfortunately, I have yet to achieve that balance; I often come across as a jerk when talking about important things that I care about. I'm usually right (And that's not just me saying that) but I'm often not as nice as I could be in showing that I'm right and they are wrong.

So I've got a lot to work on.

 

[PrinceOfLeigh]

If you are correct but never kind, you end up on ignore lists, and then nobody learns anything.

Completely agree.

Ripping someone to pieces is more likely to have them throw insults back rather than see the sense of your argument. I see this on CFC on a daily basis

 

[Tee Kay]

Kindness gets you anywhere. Anyhow, if you're kind, people are bound to listen to you.

But then, what do I know?

 

[Grisu]

Kindness rules. I feel bad because I frequently let it slip here in CFC OT. I thnk it has something to do with the nature of our interaction here. I never really meet any of you.

I try to be kind whenever possible, though I've been carried away before...

Most of the time it's not an either or, though. You can be kind while still representing your POV