Well yes, the form would seem deficient in that it does not have fields for States, Counties, Town etc.
Yes, indeed. But I haven't done so out of malice, or because I think city-folk are somehow better or more deserving or in greater need of aid. We need an address that we can send the money to via the national mail service. It's not my fault if the mail doesn't go to rural areas, it's simply the reality of budgeting a government service on limited resources. It's not like I'm affording people in the cities any special legal privileges. I'm just working within the confines of our system as it functions, right?
There IS the one-two punch of combined efforts though. Me being able to swoop in with an alternative explanation does allow people to overcome their dissonance after rejecting whatever you've said. That might explain why the alternative explanation works. But, again, headwinds and tailwinds and just general human psychology.
This is irrelevant if the alternative you're swooping in with is insufficient or incorrect. This is something Crenshaw points out in the paper that I keep referencing. If my argument is that the "but-for" approach is a bad way to conceptualize discrimination, and that whiteness is something which is deliberately uplifted by society, rather than white people being on the ground floor and all deviations are pushed down into the basement, and you "swoop in" to say that what I actually mean is that some people have multiple "but-fors" that push them down further into the basement, then you haven't helped me at all. You've undermined the point I was making and given the other person an easy out to return to a comfortable stasis where they don't have to think about any of this.
I don't know, I work in manufacturing (and retail prior to that). I'm not in a managerial/supervisory position, let alone a CEO (themselves a privileged position). Somewhat within lower class (way way far far below lower class). I don't feel privileged, just insulted since I ascribe "privilege" to be of someone of great wealth, rich, and occupying the upper crust of the socioeconomic class (typically upper class). Plus there's the idea drilled into my generation's minds that a privilege can be taken away through disciplinary actions (e.g. having your Driver's License revoked or losing computer access at school/work). When there's talk of "white privilege", people will get defensive in ether of two ways: The first is confusion because the person in question defines privilege, as I said before "of someone of high wealth and class" and that the speaker is out of touch with the listener's reality and/or the second that their rights and hardwork would be taken away from them because the group they belong to did something bad in the past or present (The disciplinary revocation action).
Personally, a better way to explain it would be to say that a person has a sociological advantage over someone, rather than the use of "privilege".
I think the issue at play here is that when we talk about privilege, the immediate assumption is that someone with privilege is maximally privileged. When what we actually mean is that someone has privilege in some particular respect or aspect of their lives. Let me give you an example:
When we fly, we all have to go through TSA, right? And when we go through TSA, we have to go through those big full-body scanners. Those scanners have pre-set gender settings. A man walks forward to the checkpoint, the agent presses the "male" setting, and, assuming he doesn't have any metals on his person, he gets waved through without a second thought. If the scanner detects an anomaly, then the agent has to give a pat-down to determine the source of the anomaly and ensure everything is safe to fly. The rules are straightforward and applied universally, so they are fair, right? Well, what happens if you're a trans woman? If you are a trans woman, and you go to TSA presenting as a woman, they hit the "female" setting and your genitalia set off the alarm, and you need to be given a pat-down. If you go to TSA in "boymode", then if you have breasts, the breasts set off the alarm and you need to be given a pat-down. This happens every time, without fail. It doesn't matter what you do, or what you say to the agents. Any time we go on a flight, we have to choose between having the humiliating experience of being publicly groped by an agent of the state in front of a crowd of strangers who now probably know you're trans, or having the absolutely terrifying experience of being taken into a back room by a bunch of often-unscrupulous agents to do who-knows-what. The machines and the rules were created with cis bodies in mind.
Now "privilege" is confusing, I think, because typically privilege refers to two different phenomena simultaneously. On the one hand that checkpoint is a manifestation of privilege. Cis bodies are treated as the default, as the norm. They are afforded special status. The screening and the rules around the screening are constructed with the immediate priority that all cis people pass the test. Even when considering fail cases, the cases in mind are the particular types of cis bodies that society wants to catch. Trans people are an afterthought in this, if they are even thought of at all. That's the privilege. Going through security feels normal to you. And it feels normal because it was specifically designed to feel as normal as possible
for you.
The problem is that privilege is also used to mean the social dynamics that come as a result of this arrangement. What happens to someone for whom airport security has only ever been a minor inconvenience at most? How does that affect the way you relate to flying? To the airport? When you get home, you say "the flight was good, the line at security moved quickly." When I get home, I say, "the flight was good, they actually acknowledged my request and allowed my groping to be performed by a female agent this time." You want to fly again, assuming you can afford it. It may even be your preferred method of travel, the first thing you think of checking when you want to go somewhere else. I hate flying. I will do everything in my power to avoid flying if I don't have to. This is also privilege. Flying is something which is normal for you. It is something you do not need to think, or worry about in that way. It is simply, "the obvious option," and when you plan a trip with friends, you operate under the assumption that everybody also thinks of it as such.
None of this is to say that you personally are super special or maximally privileged. There are plenty of other ways in which you are not privileged, and to have privilege is not necessarily a guarantee that everything in this specific scenario will be perfect for you. It does not intrinsically mean that flying must automatically be sunshine and roses or even an experience you relate to intrinsically positively. It is merely an acknowledgement that this is a particular social interaction or genre of social interactions which you do not ever have to think about, and you do not have to think about them because we have constructed our society specifically
in order that you would not have to think about them.