Excuse Me - Shopping Etiquette
- Thread starter Berzerker
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metalhead
Angry Bartender
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2002
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- 8,031
I find that unless the grocery store has wide aisles, or I know exactly where the thing I'm getting is, or the store is mostly empty, it's easiest to simply leave the cart parked at the end of the aisle so that I can more leisurely survey the shelves without taking up too much of the aisle space. The end caps are typically wide enough to allow for parking the cart at an angle so that the end cap is still fully accessible.
It's a pet peeve of mine when people walk through my field of vision when I'm surveying the shelves without saying "excuse me."
warpus
Sommerswerd asked me to change this
I feel like we're not getting the full story here. Maybe you were standing too close to her? Or she's just crazy
That situation happens all the time
that reaction is unusual, but from my experience, if I behave like you, I can just feel many are bothered as well.
If I just engage the social situation, instead of avoiding it (! what you did !), many people react often surprisingly happy....
As if they need that confirmation of being a human, getting the respect of a social gesture, instead of being "treated" like an anonymous "standing in the way" entity.
I think it has to do with personal territory.
If you come within that personal territory, which is already an issue, you must declare yourself as being harmless, otherwise you are a threat.
Lots of issues arise from the different personal territory size people have.
If your own territory is small, and you meet someone with a big territory, you are inclined to come too close.
If your body is orientated frontal, at 180 degrees, the critical distance is bigger.
If you stare at somebody, you cause the issue from a distance well beyond the normal radius.
If you need to be very close to say something (too noisy, crowded) it is common wisdom to take a 45 degrtee position instead of 180 degree position.
etc
All open doors in fact. But they are manifest all the time.
BTW
Many more violent persons have on average a bigger radius of their territory. Raising the question whether they are more violent from themselves, or because they feel threatened all the time.
EDIT
made some coreections with bigger and smaller, to get them rightly worded.
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shadowplay
your ad here
I have a strict policy of not being anything other than polite to strangers. Odds are I'll never run into that person again, as such, getting into it with someone is never worth it. I can't think of a single time I disengaged from an idiot that I regretted it.
warpus
Sommerswerd asked me to change this
Yes exactly.
I was crossing the street yesterday at an intersection, and some guy's car got stuck right in the middle of the intersection, because he pulled out way too late and was trying to turn left and got blocked by all the pedestrians. Everyone's honking at him but I'm a nice guy so I gave him a big thumbs up as I was passing him
I had an interesting shopping etiquette incident just before Christmas when I was shopping at Wal-Mart. I was lined up in the checkout beside all of the trash magazines when this woman walked up and elbowed me in the stomach (pretty hard, too), and shoved me aside to get at this particular royalty fawning magazine. She grabbed it and walked away. No excuse me, no "I'm sorry", just an elbow to the gut. I was so shocked I couldn't even say anything, though the evil one in me wanted to give her a kick to the face (but I was wearing heels and it would have made a mess 
). I checked my purse to make sure I hadn't been pick pocketed, went through the checkout and went on with my day. Still unbelievable though.
). I checked my purse to make sure I hadn't been pick pocketed, went through the checkout and went on with my day. Still unbelievable though.
warpus
Sommerswerd asked me to change this
Reminds me of the time I got on a train in Norway and my car was boarded by a large group of Chinese tourists, most of them middle aged to elderly women. Suddenly their tour leader looks at me and says "Chinese only!", referring to the car I was in. These people were chattering like crazy, it was driving me insane already, so I didn't mind switching cars at all. So I get up and right away a sea of Chinese ladies rushes towards the empty seat, like I wasn't even there, they're pushing and elbowing and trying to score the best seats in the car. Holy crap. I got so annoyed, I turned into a human icebreaker and made my way towards the car exit while pushing Chinese ladies out of the way in both directions.
Usually I'm nice to old ladies.. But.. I have my limits
Usually I'm nice to old ladies.. But.. I have my limits
Timsup2nothin
Deity
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I would have looked at the tour leader and said "sorry, don't speak it, but I'll be quiet."
Smile
Hotel employees in hotel chains that get regularely such a flock of Chinese tourists can sing a song on that theme !
I saw a documentary where such a flock got a small training in "mind your manners as a tourist", the training put in place by the travelling agencies because of all kinds of complaints, the flock at the documentary not seeming to understand very well what was intended (they had paid with money... so what the heck).
Some learning curve to go there
warpus
Sommerswerd asked me to change this
Yeah tourists like that give other tourists from those countries a bad name. I've come across plenty of polite Chinese, Italian, American, and British tourists.. but..
BvBPL
Pour Decision Maker
An “excuse me” is appropriate when you are inconveniencing another party. That’s exactly what “excuse me” means, a request to pardon one’s trespass. You might use “excuse me” when you need or want someone to act on your behalf, as in when someone is blocking an aisle you’d like to move through. You might also use it when your mere presence is an inconvenience to the other party, as when you are blocking an aisle and move aside for the other person. You can even use it when you are invading the personal space of another, as is when you have to reach past someone to grab a box of oats. Of course, whether or not you feel you are inconveniencing another person is ultimately a judgment call on your part so there will be times when reasonable parties differ on the necessity of requesting an excuse.
If you encounter anyone at the grocer who seems unclear on the matter, including the woman who cussed you out, I would encourage you to illuminate the other party.
If you encounter anyone at the grocer who seems unclear on the matter, including the woman who cussed you out, I would encourage you to illuminate the other party.
Timsup2nothin
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Do you think that "illuminate the other party" might be the origin of the expression "light them up"? I'd never really given it much thought, but there does seem to be a correlation in usage, albeit a difference in degree.
Zkribbler
Deity
They do stuff like that assuming people are nice and won't challenge them. I say, go Sam Kenison on her.
I would probably ask her (and not quietly), "Were you born in a barn?".I had an interesting shopping etiquette incident just before Christmas when I was shopping at Wal-Mart. I was lined up in the checkout beside all of the trash magazines when this woman walked up and elbowed me in the stomach (pretty hard, too), and shoved me aside to get at this particular royalty fawning magazine. She grabbed it and walked away. No excuse me, no "I'm sorry", just an elbow to the gut. I was so shocked I couldn't even say anything, though the evil one in me wanted to give her a kick to the face (but I was wearing heels and it would have made a mess
There have been a few times when I've reached for a soap magazine, but I always say, "Excuse me, please; I'm just trying to reach this." Nobody has ever complained about it, and once or twice they just passed me a copy.
"Excuse me" works in other ways in stores as well. I'm not a tall person, so sometimes I just can't reach stuff on the upper shelves or hooks. Since clerks are never around when they're needed, I just snag the first available tall person and politely ask if they would mind reaching the thing down for me. Nobody has ever refused, and it's a favor I pass on to people in wheelchairs or scooters. Sometimes it's pretty obvious by their body language that they want something, can't reach it, and are too embarrassed to ask for help. So I offer, they tell me what they want, I get it down for them, and everything's fine. If it's something I can't reach myself, I'll ask the first available staff member or tall person to help.
@Hrothbern: There was one year when I attended a science fiction convention and we found out that we were sharing the hotel with a group of Japanese tourists. The tourists were all polite and while a few of them gave us odd looks (those of us in hall costumes), they never made disparaging remarks or did anything rude.
That was quite a contrast to the years when we had to share with a convention of JWs, and particularly with a pack of Liberal leadership convention delegates. That bunch seemed to feel extremely offended that we were there, and tried all sorts of tricks to get us kicked out (ie. phoning the cops and saying that people were doing drugs in the consuite; when the cops arrived all they found were two people sitting there, drinking coffee, and having a quiet conversation). My room was next to one of the candidates' rooms (as a friend asked when I told her, "What god did you offend?") and it was a frustrating gauntlet that we had to get through every time we wanted to get from the room to the elevator and vice-versa.
By the time Saturday morning had arrived, my "excuse me" was not really in a very polite tone of voice (the hallway was absolutely crammed with delegates, who seemed to think that taking up space for no reason, some of them smoking and not giving a damn that their second smoke was wafting under our door). The delegates for all the candidates continued to behave in various obnoxious ways - harassing our convention members, some of them strolling into our panel discussions like they'd actually paid a membership fee like the rest of us, repeatedly trying to get us kicked out... but it was a beautiful thing to see them lugging their suitcases out the doors when they got kicked out. At least we had Sunday free of their malign presence.
Disgustipated
Deity
Oh I wish she would have said that to me. Most of these fat lazy (word that I can't use on this forum) are in that chair because of their own laziness. I hate lazy Americans. You are a disgrace to this country, and not what this country was built upon. Get out and exercise and you wouldn't have to ride around in that chair.
My extensive amount of tax dollars are keeping you alive so you can stuff burritos into your mouth. Without awesome individuals like myself who work hard, you would starve to death. You should get on your knees and thank your existence for people like me.
/rant.
Moderator Action: You may think what you like, but please don't post hateful and abusive rants to the forum. -LM
Please read the forum rules: http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=422889
My extensive amount of tax dollars are keeping you alive so you can stuff burritos into your mouth. Without awesome individuals like myself who work hard, you would starve to death. You should get on your knees and thank your existence for people like me.
/rant.
Moderator Action: You may think what you like, but please don't post hateful and abusive rants to the forum. -LM
Please read the forum rules: http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=422889
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Berzerker
Deity
I'll park my cart out of the way somewhere to look for items, but why are they walking thru your field of vision? Did you back away from the shelf to get a better look and now people have to walk thru your field of vision because you didn't leave them room to walk around you? I do that and now I realize I'm the one who put them in the position of walking thru my field of vision.
Not that I condone the woman's rudeness, but... WTH? Who are you to judge why people use mobility devices to get around? There are many reasons why people use canes, crutches, walkers, scooters, and wheelchairs. And many of these people are men, so how about parking the attitude, 'k?
