To people transitioning: How do you feel about the ageing process and how it will affect your looks?
Is it bad that I don't? Because that's my awnser; I really don't. I have a hard time seeing myself in the future six months from now due to my present situation; decades down the road is unfathomable to me.
Hi Darsnan! Thanks for your post. It's the first account I've read from a transparent's perspective.
I have a question about this part though. contre and Omega can probably answer about the topic as well, but: It was your job to communicate the news to your family? Was that a coordinated decision? Did both your daughter and you think it was easier that way? Was it too hard/easier on her if you did it, or did you think it was strategically smarter if you talked with them first? contre's wife talked about it to her parents without contre there, which was a strategic decision. Is this a very common way to do it? Or do other transgendered decide to do it all by themselves?
I told everyone who knows about my transgender status myself. To out someone else is, imo, extremely rude and I would not tolerate people doing it for me. Most people I know also tend to do the coming out themselves, just because, people tend to like controlling who knows and yo the extent that they know.
Which brings me to:I'm not sure if you should necessarily read any specific moral judgment into the "Did I do anything wrong?" question. I think it's more a parent's reaction to learning that all the fundamental assumptions they thought they could make about their child might not be correct.
Whether it is being transgendered, or homosexual, or not sharing the parents' religion or even football team allegiance, it's a
totally unexpected development which the parents just had never considered by then.
Sure, you can say that that being transgendered doesn't do anyone else any harm, but while that is true, I don't think that has anything to do with the reaction itself. And, since it isn't really a problem, most parents should be able to accept it after having processed it, I imagine.
Anyway, that is my interpretation of that question and reaction which parents often seem to have. Does that seem somewhat more logical to you
No, that really doesn't help at all, sorry. All you said seems to be "its unexpected, so therefore I did something wrong". But unexpected stuff happens to everyone and their children, and rarely the reaction is that negative. In fact, I can't think of much examples where I can think an unexpected relavation would bring that much negativity (maybe being found out your kid is a criminal? Even then I feel parents are more willing to engage in mental gymnastics to keep their perception of their sweet baby alive) There has to be something underlying to have someone question why they screwed up raising their kid after they come out as LGBT, something more than just "it's unexpected"
Isn't transgender also an adjective? So calling you transgendered is describing an intrinsic part of you? Or?
That's my point, actually. Transgender is an adjective. Adjectives do not have a past form. You don't say something was greened, or larged, or heavied. Likewise, we do not transgendered, because -ed is for past term verbs, not adjectives. It doesn't make grammatical sense, and the implications are rude. So please, can you just say trans(gender) person? Or even just trans if the adjectival form is too much for you? The verb form really makes you sound ignorant and is rude.
I hope this question doesn't come as offensive
Do most transgender women want to date trangendermen, cis men, does it make a difference. Or are most of them identifying as lesbians, like you are?
In terms of being gay or straight,
Page 29 of this study claims that transwomen at least are relatively equally split between being straight, bi and lesbian. Less identity as pure straight compared to the other two but my best guess is sample bias
In terms of being able to date other trans people, I think the awnser is a resounding yes. Honestly it would be hypocritical to the highest degree for a trans person to refuse to date another trans person. We got to stick together, can't leave our own to the curb.
That being said, my bf is cisgender. Just circumstance though; if he was a trans man I'd still love him just the same (but I'd want to steal his ore transisition body, and likely vice versa).
edit: Cheezy also mentioned being 'genderfluid' and I've literally never heard that term before so I had to look it up. It seems to mean someone that is a combination of both male and female. Not in terms of their actual genders, but their mindset. I would say I lean towards feeling male but I have effemininte parts to my personality. I'd say I find about 10% of guys attractive... although I'm much more likely to find a woman attractive. To this extent, I would say 'genderfluid" is actually very normal and typical, even if we are socially taught not to be that way.
Ok, so a little off topic, but I want to plug a webcomic that I follow.
Its called Rain, and the premise is a trans girl trying to stealthily (aka without others knowing) transition. Even if I wasn't trans, it's still a really well written series, and the art might be kind of bad at first but it gets better later on and develops sort of an animeesque charm to it.
But the real reason I want to plug it is that one of the major characters, who is introduced later on, is a genderfluid kid named Ky. Ky is a really good crash course in exactly how genderfluidism, as s/he shifts between male, female, and even asexual presentations. Theres not really a lot of genderfluidism represented in media at all (and very few positive trans characters) and I think this webcomic is good to help people see a visualization of gender identity minorities.
Iran has a solid record of transgender rights? I've never heard this.
My cousin (who is an Iranian American, who has been to Iran) used to date a transgender person herself, and ever since she's been an advocate for LBGT rights. She said transgender people in Iran actually have it pretty horrible, and some of them are denied service in places like restaurants.
Oh yes. The Iranian government will fully pay for someone's transisition and help integrate them in their preferred gender. It stems from the fact that, unlike homosexuality, nothing in the Koran explicitly denounces transgenderism, and the Atoyallah was moved by a trans person's personal story when they talked.
The only issue is, of course, you're still in Iran. Ignoring the fact that Iranian society is not as accepting as the government is, homosexuality is still illegal, Islam is the state religion, and for trans women, women's rights are... questionable from a western standard (Although I'll admit Iran is one of the better places in the Middle East to be a woman). As a gynosexual atheist western transwoman, if I emigrated to Iran, I'd be forced to be with a man after I transition (in fact Iran is starting to force transitions on cisgender homosexuals, which is absulotely terrible since they will start suffering the same mental issues pre transisition trans people go through), probably be forced to convert to Islam (and follow its rules in dress, which admittingly the head scarves are cute but it's the principle here), and while I may want to be the submissive in a relationship, I like feminism for letting me have the choice rather than being legally forced to.
