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Lemmy the Indecisive and his plucky British Advisor Sidekicks

Discussion in 'Civ5 - Stories & Let's Plays' started by lemmy101, Sep 23, 2010.

  1. lemmy101

    lemmy101 Emperor

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    Prey tell, what is this you say, noble scout fellows? The Irighoui are having a military parade in our honour?

    I am so touched, a single tear rolls down my cheek. Then it begins to rain and I begin to wonder.
     
  2. lemmy101

    lemmy101 Emperor

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    I am really pleased that the kindly Iriqwai leader, Hiwathwa, is doing his utmost to ensure the security of our borders! He stands a vigilant watch for barbarian scum as we complete our 'as many fingers as I have' city of Metropolopia. The most touching thing is I never even asked him to!

    My borders now snuggle around Lake Simcoe as if I were spooning his civilization with love, which in many ways is exactly how I feel about it.
     
  3. lemmy101

    lemmy101 Emperor

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    He's such a nice guy. I suspect what he's trying to say in his lovably fumbled foreign speak, is that my lands are as good as his. I've seen his lands, and can only feel really flattered.

    I told him I thought our chat went 'Very well'.
     
  4. lemmy101

    lemmy101 Emperor

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    Ye Gods! Something seems to have gone amiss! My advisors storm into the room with words most grim! It seems my good chum Hawathwia has been driven mad and for reasons unknown has unleashed his forces upon our fair lands!

    But fear not, I tell them, for my wise and able military advisor has seen fit to field me an army larger than the likes mankind as ever seen.

    We walk outside the gates of Awesominium and take stock of our military might.

    Warriors! Check.
    Watercarrage! Check
    Scouts! Check

    I've never been a numbers man but it would seem to me that the Iriquai may outnumber us slightly. I'm sure my military advisor has a few tricks up his sleeve, though, as I hear word he's been spending many a day over in Iriquoi territory for months leading up to the invasion. Scouting out the lands himself, no doubt!

    I'm lucky to have such loyal servants.
     
  5. lemmy101

    lemmy101 Emperor

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    As the armies lay siege to the cities of Wonderland and Metropolopia, I find it a fitting time to make one of those rousing speeches that the hero of the tale always makes at their darkest hours. The speech that picks everyone up out of the dirt, inflames their spirit and gives them the strength they need to fight back for glory and assured victory. I address the peoples and shout loud and nobbley (but mainly loudly)

    "Fair People of England! We stand now at our darkest hour, but fear not! For while the evil marauding Iriquoi may storm our lands, murder our children in cold blood and have their wicked way with our wives, burning down our houses and destroying all our worldly possessions! Whilst they may burn away all that is good in our lives, and leave the few of us that survive homeless, destined to walk the wilderness until starvation or wolves put us out of our misery..."


    It was at this point I tailed off slightly, as I'd kind of forgotten my point. I'm so rubbish at public speaking, you have to laugh really.



    I think my speech helped, anyway.
     
  6. R3dKnight

    R3dKnight Warlord

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    Looks like this is it, my friend.

     
  7. lemmy101

    lemmy101 Emperor

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  8. lemmy101

    lemmy101 Emperor

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    As the enemy approach our fair capital, I cast the fool of a military advisor in my employ onto the street. I shall do my own military tactics now.







    After I finish begging, my military advisor finally agrees to rejoin me and help me stave off the invasion. He's so great!







    If that's what you think will help, my most trusted aides! See you soon Hamtopia! After the inevitable turnaround in our fortune once this 'Library of Doom' is completed!
     
  9. lemmy101

    lemmy101 Emperor

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    Hurry up and build that library, men! We need it to... do whatever it is a library does to stop all these crazy Iriquiois plundering our fields and bothering our womenfolk!
     
  10. lemmy101

    lemmy101 Emperor

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    I'm confused as from where our assured victory will spring from now. But I have faith, as my advisors have never steered me wrong before!
     
  11. lemmy101

    lemmy101 Emperor

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  12. lemmy101

    lemmy101 Emperor

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    Something seems to be wrong with my secret weapon. My military advisor gives me a new build order...

    What are these 'spearmen' of which you speak? you have never mentioned them before?

    Perhaps this is the answer I've been looking for?
     
  13. lemmy101

    lemmy101 Emperor

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    The eleventh hour, how exciting! I wonder how our assured victory is going to pan out now? So that our people can look back at this moment, as our proudest hour, where when things looked at their bleakest we fought back, and took back our lands! Yes! And then we will put down those evil Iriquis and cast them from these lands, and oh I can hear them outside the gates, uh oh, well I'm sure it'll be fine, I'll just consult my military advisor, I'm sure he's got a plan...

     
  14. bryanw1995

    bryanw1995 Emperor

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    wow, I really thought that your advisors would steer you to victory, too!
     
  15. Krystalshield

    Krystalshield Chieftain

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    The screenshot from "wikipedia" is awesome!!

    I'm terribly surprised by the outcome though... I am forced to assume Lemmy misunderstood a key element of his advisors' strategy.
     
  16. MashPotato

    MashPotato Chieftain

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    I weep for England and her advisors, whose wisdom is now forever lost :'(
     
  17. Shakira42

    Shakira42 Chieftain

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    Love the story telling, Lemmy.

    (Another lurker registered for you.)
     
  18. DarkTempla

    DarkTempla Chieftain

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    "Oh look, he did a Lemmy!"

    I LOVE THAT ONE!!!! :D
     
  19. KuroRyuuD

    KuroRyuuD Chieftain

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    On the last page i was laughing so hard... genious!
    Great work, now then, tine for another one! ;)
     
  20. Aysee

    Aysee Winter is Coming

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    Looking forwards to the next one!

    And perhaps let's not pull a Lemmy this time?:p
     

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