spaceman98
Plotting something
- Joined
- Sep 1, 2010
- Messages
- 3,639
Visorslash has been chosen by the almighty RNG
Mass Effect [Game Thread - Concluded]
- Thread starter Zack
- Start date
Sprig
めんどくさい
Since TaliZorah wants to look at it so badly, let him look at it.
Daird
Warlord
Sprig, you know as well as I that TaliZorah is a she, not a he.
I, BSmith will volunteer to look at it.
Yaropolk was doing the same thing he did every morning - sitting in favorite recliner, blowing away newbs in his favorite shooter and every once in a while rummaging through the substantial pile of potato chip bags hoping to find another victim for his maw. Sadly there were none. He interrupted his profanity laced diatribe on his headset to demand more nourishment.
Yaropolk: "Maaaaaaaaah! I need more chips, my sugahz are getting low!"
YaroMom: "Oh honey, but you've already had 6 bags this morning. Don't you want to grow up nice and healthy? Come down for lunch. We're having grilled fish."
Yaropolk:"I want real food! And I am healthy! I'm the healthiest and strongest person I know.. Garblewoblegarble" (another chip was found among the debris).
YaroMom:"Oh I know honey, I know. This is why I signed you up for summer camp where you can show all the other kids how strong and healthy you are."
Yaropolk:"I don't know.... will there be marshmallows?"
YaroMom:"All you can eat!"
Yaropolk did not need any more convincing. He packed just the essentials - 2 duffel bags full of fizzy drinks and candy bars. Clean underwear would have to be sacrificed, but he could always just flip his one pair inside out after a few weeks. Yaropolk, Yaromom and Yarodad piled into the family station wagon and pulled away.
After 3 stops for breakfast, brunch, and lunch at McBeetus they finally arrived. Yaropolk looked out the window and saw a rocket ship standing on a launch pad. He also saw people scrambling about but nobody had marshmallows. Definitely no marshmallows.
Yaropolk:"Mom this camp looks strange. Are you sure we're in the right place? I better not have missed half a day of raiding just to drive around with you around town. We were racing Avengers of Vengeance to the Avatar of Gloop! I don't want some newb getting my Mythical Codpiece of Gloop!"
YaroMom:"Uh no honey.....this is.....space camp. Yes that's it, space camp!"
Yaropolk:"You mean the kind that has astronaut ice cream?"
YaroMom:"That's right honey, that kind!"
Yaropolk heard enough. Hesprinted waddled out of the car, leaving his parents to carry his bags and pushed his way through he crowd gathered outside the spaceship. Once inside, Yaropolk saw really cool recliners where new campers were being processed for intake. He sat down in an empty seat but his generous curves flowed over on both sides to other seats. Some skinny twerp was sitting next to him.
TaliZorah:"Hi, my name is TaliZorah. Excuse me, would you mind not taking up half of my seat?"
Yaropolk:"Watchu need it for? You're not sized like a real person. I am a big guy and I need both of these seats."
TaliZorah settled in against the wall, resigned to his squashed and somewhat smelly fate. At least he didn't have claustrophobia. Yaropolk started to doze off. When Yaropolk came to some time had passed, and a big man with square shoulders, square face, and a square haircut walked out in front of the room. He started barking out orders
Commander Shepard:"Welcome to Mass Effect maggots! I am your commanding officer, Commander Shepard. You have signed up for a 6 month mission dedicated to exploring space, planets, such and such and whatnot!"
Yaropolk:"Zzzzzz.....Shepard Pie..... Excuse me, when is dinner? My sugahz are getting low."
Commander Shepard was screaming now:"WHAT THE HELL DO WE HAVE HERE? What is your name private?"
Yaropolk:"Waah?"
Commander Shepard:"IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS! From now on your name will be Private Fatbody!"
Yaropolk thought to himself:"Mass Effect...Private Fatbody. Those fat shaming sh*t lords sent me off to .....FAT CAMP!"
Commander Shepard:"Now as I was saying we need a volunteer to go look for the Prothean beacon."
Yaropolk interrupted:"Prothean bacon?"
Commander Shepard now furious:"BEACON! B-E-A-C-O-N. Private Fatbody you are as dumb as you are fat. I am changing your name. Your new name is Private Fathead! Private Fathead, woud you like to go look for the beacon? You need the exercise."
TaliZorah, who has been holding his breath in a vain effort to keep out the putrid smell emanating from the next seat saw his chance for escape.
TaliZorah:"I'll go. I don't care, I'll go anywhere. Give me an oxygen mask and get me out of this seat and I'll go find your Prothean beacon!"
Yaropolk:"Hurr hurrr. Stop calling me fat! These camp activities are stupid. Anyway, I don't need to go anywhere. When you're big and healthy like me, you don't need any exercise or you'll burn through your muscles. But TaliZorah should go and get some meat on his bones! Mmmmm meatpie."
With those words, Yaropolk squeezed himself out of his chair and poor TaliZorah jumped at the chance to escape his prison.
Yaropolk: "Maaaaaaaaah! I need more chips, my sugahz are getting low!"
YaroMom: "Oh honey, but you've already had 6 bags this morning. Don't you want to grow up nice and healthy? Come down for lunch. We're having grilled fish."
Yaropolk:"I want real food! And I am healthy! I'm the healthiest and strongest person I know.. Garblewoblegarble" (another chip was found among the debris).
YaroMom:"Oh I know honey, I know. This is why I signed you up for summer camp where you can show all the other kids how strong and healthy you are."
Yaropolk:"I don't know.... will there be marshmallows?"
YaroMom:"All you can eat!"
Yaropolk did not need any more convincing. He packed just the essentials - 2 duffel bags full of fizzy drinks and candy bars. Clean underwear would have to be sacrificed, but he could always just flip his one pair inside out after a few weeks. Yaropolk, Yaromom and Yarodad piled into the family station wagon and pulled away.
After 3 stops for breakfast, brunch, and lunch at McBeetus they finally arrived. Yaropolk looked out the window and saw a rocket ship standing on a launch pad. He also saw people scrambling about but nobody had marshmallows. Definitely no marshmallows.
Yaropolk:"Mom this camp looks strange. Are you sure we're in the right place? I better not have missed half a day of raiding just to drive around with you around town. We were racing Avengers of Vengeance to the Avatar of Gloop! I don't want some newb getting my Mythical Codpiece of Gloop!"
YaroMom:"Uh no honey.....this is.....space camp. Yes that's it, space camp!"
Yaropolk:"You mean the kind that has astronaut ice cream?"
YaroMom:"That's right honey, that kind!"
Yaropolk heard enough. He
TaliZorah:"Hi, my name is TaliZorah. Excuse me, would you mind not taking up half of my seat?"
Yaropolk:"Watchu need it for? You're not sized like a real person. I am a big guy and I need both of these seats."
TaliZorah settled in against the wall, resigned to his squashed and somewhat smelly fate. At least he didn't have claustrophobia. Yaropolk started to doze off. When Yaropolk came to some time had passed, and a big man with square shoulders, square face, and a square haircut walked out in front of the room. He started barking out orders
Commander Shepard:"Welcome to Mass Effect maggots! I am your commanding officer, Commander Shepard. You have signed up for a 6 month mission dedicated to exploring space, planets, such and such and whatnot!"
Yaropolk:"Zzzzzz.....Shepard Pie..... Excuse me, when is dinner? My sugahz are getting low."
Commander Shepard was screaming now:"WHAT THE HELL DO WE HAVE HERE? What is your name private?"
Yaropolk:"Waah?"
Commander Shepard:"IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS! From now on your name will be Private Fatbody!"
Yaropolk thought to himself:"Mass Effect...Private Fatbody. Those fat shaming sh*t lords sent me off to .....FAT CAMP!"
Commander Shepard:"Now as I was saying we need a volunteer to go look for the Prothean beacon."
Yaropolk interrupted:"Prothean bacon?"
Commander Shepard now furious:"BEACON! B-E-A-C-O-N. Private Fatbody you are as dumb as you are fat. I am changing your name. Your new name is Private Fathead! Private Fathead, woud you like to go look for the beacon? You need the exercise."
TaliZorah, who has been holding his breath in a vain effort to keep out the putrid smell emanating from the next seat saw his chance for escape.
TaliZorah:"I'll go. I don't care, I'll go anywhere. Give me an oxygen mask and get me out of this seat and I'll go find your Prothean beacon!"
Yaropolk:"Hurr hurrr. Stop calling me fat! These camp activities are stupid. Anyway, I don't need to go anywhere. When you're big and healthy like me, you don't need any exercise or you'll burn through your muscles. But TaliZorah should go and get some meat on his bones! Mmmmm meatpie."
With those words, Yaropolk squeezed himself out of his chair and poor TaliZorah jumped at the chance to escape his prison.
Frozen In Ice
Emperor
- Joined
- Jun 30, 2007
- Messages
- 1,536
If Daird wants to take a look then I say we let force him.
mechaerik
Tuturuu!
I, mechaerik volunteer for examining the plot device.
Askthepizzaguy
Know the Dark Side
I'm here! I'm here!
So, when do they start passing out the blue booty? I know I signed up to taste blue sugar and I gots to get me some of that.
So, when do they start passing out the blue booty? I know I signed up to taste blue sugar and I gots to get me some of that.
edse
King
Oh noes! 
Zack will find me and slap me 
. Subscribing so I'll find and read the thread tomorrow.
Zack will find me and slap me . Subscribing so I'll find and read the thread tomorrow.
SouthernKing
crickety cricket
Red Spy seems like a fine choice to examine the beacon
SouthernKing
crickety cricket
Well, since you volunteered for whatever, we'll send you out the airlock
edit: well that was a meaningful 5000th post
Zack
99% hot gas
[TIMER=5/9/2014 10:59 PM CDT; Day One Over]your mom lol[/TIMER]
Askthepizzaguy
Know the Dark Side
Upon further examination, I have a suggestion.
The majority of all players should choose the paragon option, meaning Blue.
That means you need to volunteer yourself for the dangerous mission.
This will end up having rewards later on, if taking risks and acting virtuously and heroically do, which are typically the harder choices to make, but the right ones.
However, we need to be realistic and pragmatic: If everyone volunteers themselves, we may accidentally send someone important into a situation where their health or shields are damaged.
As such, my full recommendation is that most of us "volunteer" for the paragon option, but someone actually and truly volunteers, and a few select people choose the renegade option, which is to vote to "force" the volunteer to do the thing they volunteered for.
In the end, more persons will have chosen the blue option, but the risk to the whole is lessened, and we can still use the red option to make a selection.
We only have a day remaining, can I get some support on this idea?
I won't speak for TaliZorah, but they did volunteer- so for example, if Tali is willing to take the risk, those voting for Tali should leave their votes where they are, and everyone else should volunteer themselves for the dangerous mission, knowing full well they won't actually be chosen.
Thoughts, comments, disagreements.
The majority of all players should choose the paragon option, meaning Blue.
That means you need to volunteer yourself for the dangerous mission.
This will end up having rewards later on, if taking risks and acting virtuously and heroically do, which are typically the harder choices to make, but the right ones.
However, we need to be realistic and pragmatic: If everyone volunteers themselves, we may accidentally send someone important into a situation where their health or shields are damaged.
As such, my full recommendation is that most of us "volunteer" for the paragon option, but someone actually and truly volunteers, and a few select people choose the renegade option, which is to vote to "force" the volunteer to do the thing they volunteered for.
In the end, more persons will have chosen the blue option, but the risk to the whole is lessened, and we can still use the red option to make a selection.
We only have a day remaining, can I get some support on this idea?
I won't speak for TaliZorah, but they did volunteer- so for example, if Tali is willing to take the risk, those voting for Tali should leave their votes where they are, and everyone else should volunteer themselves for the dangerous mission, knowing full well they won't actually be chosen.
Thoughts, comments, disagreements.
Askthepizzaguy
Know the Dark Side
I fake volunteer myself, Askthepizzaguy, for this mission, because I'm ever so brave and heroic and all that.
(Not!)
(Not!)
Visorslash
Deity
I want to check it out myself, vote me.
Yaropolk liked Pizza. In fact pizza with peppers was his favorite health food. It's healthy because pepper is a vegetable you see. And Yaropolk liked guys who brought him pizza. Most importantly of all, Yaropolk was not about to get out of his aisle seat to let TaleZorah back into the window seat. He was more than content to go along with AskThePizzaGuy's plan.
