The following is a paid advertisement by Vince Offer
Hi, it's Vince with Patrick Ekundayo! You're gonna be in a great mood all day because you're gonna be slappin' your troubles away with Patrick. Now look: Here's a UN bill. One slap, you got an aid agency; two slaps, an investment plan for Africa. OK, now look at this: You add some labour laws... The more you do it, the finer it gets! You don't have to keep swapping ministers!
Now: You love human rights, you hate protecting 'em. D'you know you hate protectin' foreigners, that's why you aren't respected anywhere! Watch this. One slap: Peacekeepers! I love rights without obligations too, but once in a while let the people in; at least let them volunteer for Peacekeeping. You're gonna change your global standing. ICC, HRC, stuff in what, five seconds? Four-five seconds it's done!
This thing, this General Assembly? Looks boring! Stop having a boring UN, stop having a boring life! Add Patrick, put him here like this, now you're gonna have a nice... UN SecGen. Look at this; you're gonna have an exciting life now!
Look: Here's a tight-ass European... One chop; you add the South American, you add the African. And, what you can do, you can mix cultures together, you can add the Asian; and you're gonna love this. You don't have time to bridge differences?.. Multilateralism to go.
You're gonna love my nuts. Watch this: tinpots, false gods... Comes with a Security Council. So you can do everything with the Security Council. Alright? Or you can do it in the General Assembly; whatever you'd like. It's so easy! One finger; if Patrick can do it with one finger, you guys can do it with your whole government. Your kids can do it. You know what they claim in sovereigntist countries? "Co-operation's impossible in sovereigntist countries." Add a couple of populists if you want... So you can make it for the whole planet. Stop throwin' your future away! You know, not only nuts, what about fruits? Put a Spammer... Look at that; isn't that beautiful on your world order?
The reason Pat's gonna slap away everyday... is 'cuz he's so honest in his intent. One; Two; and pops open like that, like a butterfly, to review. Now these other ones that you've seen in past years, hidden agenda gets into their policies -all the usual candidates have this- you can't trust it! You can't open this up! It's worthless! Forget about it!
Now, take Patrick, put him into office, and you get the green lobby. Alright, here's the green lobby, with the crazies, there you go: de-crazies the green lobby, you're gonna ratify more green bills... The energy lobby, with the liars; alright, this is makin' you cry, i' makin' me cry. Alright; life's hard enough as it is, you don't wanna cry anymore. Put Patrick right there; the liars 're at the bottom... Now look at this, you want a few energy lobbyists, you don't wanna drag out the deliberations? The liars come right out! You see that?
Alright, now put a doctor in there, add your aid workers, your Rotary Club right there, you hit it like this... Guys, we're gonna make the planet healthy again, one slap at a time!
Now here's the deal: When you vote for Patrick, we're gonna give you a Commissioner, for Human Rights. War crimes, genocide; in the UN, comes with a court system. And watch this: Varkos, Arubine, Salarini, Polzhetinye, bikini. Look at that: Comes with dual oversight, just mandate it; criminals come right out, fined and incarcerated, convictions; comes with a holding cell, stays sealed. Put 'em in prison, take 'em out when their trial's due, strengthen international law, you're gonna love this thing.
Patrick wins with a plurality vote, but if you call now, within the next 20 minutes 'cuz you know we can't do this all day, you're gonna get the Human Rights Commissioner, absolutely free. So that's two, for a plurality vote: Patrick, with a Commissioner! Here's how to order...
Dependable and versatile. Convenient and clear.
Patrick Ekundayo. More than You Bargained For.