Peoples of the Premier League, Please Attend Carefully - Subi and Kan FM11 MP AAR

SuperBeaverInc.

SuperBeaverInc.

Groucho
Joined
Apr 10, 2003
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​




Me and Kan have challenged each other to a multiplayer game of Football Manager 2011, and decided to make it an AAR. I will be managing West Bromwich Albion, while he will be in control of Wolverhampton Wanderers. Watch as me and Kan stumble our way through the English Premier League trying to simply not get fired or relegated.


We enabled 11 countries, with at least one on each continent. Most of the countries have the default number enabled, except England which goes all the way down the Blue Square North/South, and with South Africa and South Korea only having the top league.



House Rules/Gentleman's Agreements

  • No leaving our starting clubs unless fired by the board. If West Bromwich or Wolves fire us, then we are free to move about however we please.
  • If fired, teams in the same country should be first pick. Only leave the country if no jobs are available.
  • No poaching players or staff from each others teams



​
 
West Bromwich Albion are an English football team founded in 1878 in West Bromwich, England. They were among the founders of The Football League in 1888. They were champions of England in 1919-20, and have won the FA Cup five times, in 1888, 1892, 1931, 1954, and 1968. Despite this, they spent many years away from the Premier League, winning promotion from The Championship last season.

West Bromwich have rivalries with many other clubs in Midlands, most notably Wolverhampton Wanderers. Other rivals of the team include Aston Villa, Birmingham City, and Stoke City. Their rivalry with Wolves is referred to as the Black Country Derby, having been played over 150 times. Nicknamed the Baggies, they play out of The Hawthorns, a 26,200 seat stadium.



West Bromwich is hardly a rich club, especially compared to some of the traditional English powers. They start the season with a balance of about £14,000,000, and a transfer budget of £4,500,000. Their highest paid player is Austria defender Paul Scharner. Other notables include Congolese midfielder Youssuf Mulumbu, Northern Irish midfielder Chris Brunt, Scottish midfielder Graham Dorrans, and Chilean defender Gonzalo Jara.



Their manager is Rufus T. Firefly. Firefly is from Malta, with additional Canadian citizenship. Firefly speaks Maltese, English, French, and Italian, and has no prior managing experience before taking control of West Bromwich. He is 34 years old and is signed to a two year contract worth £12,250 per week.



With a limited transfer budget, only two players have been brough in so far. French midfielder Gael Kakuta was acquired on loan from Chelsea reserves.



The other acquisition was of young Scottish striker Leigh Griffiths from Dundee in Scotland for £400,000.




A total of 7 friendlies were played the Baggies. Instead of the prearranged games, a new set of games was arranged with big name clubs in order to raise money for West Bromwich. An estimated total of £1,000,000 was raised in appearance fees during the world tour.

Friendlies:

Velez 3 WBA 1
Lanus 2 WBA 0
Girondins Bordeaux 1 WBA 0
Brisbane Roar FC 4 WBA 4
Estudiantes 3 WBA 0
Arsenal 2 WBA 0
Clapton 1 WBA 6

Total friendlies record: 1-1-5

 
They Think It's All OvAAR - The True English Side
Part One​

Wolverhampton Wanderers. Wolves.



I don’t even like dogs and now I’m in charge of one. “Wanderers” as well, that doesn’t bode well for our Premiership dreams. I’d much prefer “Wolverhampton Stays Near the Top of the League.”

Beggars can’t be choosers though, and before that harsh reality hits, let’s get a feel for the history of the club. From that most loveable source that is Wikipedia:

Wolverhampton Wanderers Football Club is a professional football club representing the city of Wolverhampton, in the West Midlands region of England
Click to expand...

England? Oh dear this will be bad.

Having won the FA Cup twice before the outbreak of the First World War, Wolves consolidated their reputation as a top side under the legendary management of ex-player Stan Cullis after the Second World War, going on to win the league three times and the FA Cup twice between 1949 and 1960. It was at this time that the European Cup competition was established, after the English press declared Wolves "Champions of the World" following their victories against such top European and World sides as South Africa, Racing, Spartak Moscow, and Honvéd in some of football's first live televised games.
Click to expand...

Well that’s brilliant then! This sounds like a fantastic team to manage...

Wolves have yet to match the successes of the Stan Cullis era
Click to expand...

Oh.

Well I’m not entirely sure I want to do this. After all why would I want to take control of a fairly poor team just to try and save them from the relegation battle that I’m sure to have to fight? There’s absolutely no reason why...



It can’t be. In charge of Wolves rivals West Brom? None other than...



Changing your identity to a Maltese national called Firefly? Don’t think I can’t see past your game brother, this is one Scottish master who will bring you down. Or at least avoid relegation above you. WHICHEVER COMES FIRST!

And it’s not as if Subi is quiet on his feelings either:



Oh it is on, my most worthy rival. It is on!

As it turns out, we don’t exactly have much to work with. While Subi is happily gloating at all the purchases he has made with his £4.5 million budget, I’m stuck wondering what to do with my grand old £130,000. I briefly consider blowing it all on alcohol, hookers and juggling balls but ultimately decide keeping it for a rainy day might be more sensible, if just as useful.

We do eventually get some nice bloke from France called Robert Pires, who is rather good for a guy who’s 36 and French.



Subi meanwhile is having an orgasm over signing Leigh Griffiths as well as several other players. For some reason he keeps sending me messages about who he’s signed and wondering why I haven’t done the same beyond some guy on a free transfer. I remind him that I have the monetary equivalent of mud to entice new players in but I’m not sure if he received my message, there’s a lot of laughter being heard on the line.

So onto the initial friendly matches. I say friendly, as while my opponents and I are happily playing the game for the fun of the sport, I constantly have Subi moaning that I’m taking on weaker opponents. After every game, as both sides are having a quiet celebratory pint in the local, I get a call from him shouting about how “oh I see you beat some lower league club, well done, hope you’re happy. Meanwhile I’m off to take on ARSENAL! Make some money, you know?”

Well good for him. Bloody capitalists, eh?



Not bad, 6 games, 5 wins and 1 draw. Yeah they were all weaker teams, but they gave me a chance to understand what my team is capable of. Good at defence, bit rubbish elsewhere. I’m sure that won’t come back to haunt me. Let’s just have a look at who I’m playing first in the first proper league match...



Oooooooh bugger...
 
Neither of you have signed Beckham and thereby both suck

Dr. Insano wishes death upon you both
 
Captain2 said:
Neither of you have signed Beckham and thereby both suck

Dr. Insano wishes death upon you both
Click to expand...

Even though Beckham's value is only about £975,000, that is still many times higher than Kan's transfer budget. :lol:

And even if I wanted to, his weekly wage is way beyond my budget. :p
 
Subscribed!

I will be supporting..........


Man Utd. :p
 
The first league matches I’ve got are against Arsenal and then Chelsea, so it’s not like I feel I’m being thrown at the wolves or anything. ‘Cos I’m managing the Wolves. Little football-based humour for you there. Ha ha and all those other noises.

Arsene Wenger, manager of Arsenal, comes out in full support of my upcoming difficulties.



That’s lovely, Wenger. I’ll be sure to keep a copy of that quote hung above my desk at the office. I like to think that, instead of a thinly-veiled insult against my team, he’s actually saying he doesn’t think he’s that great a manager, and that he envies my confidence.

Sigh, yeah. Or my imagination.

The match itself goes about as much as you would expect in an away game versus Arsenal, with Wolverhampton losing possession at every opportunity, having no chances on the opposing goal and utterly preventing Arsenal from scoring. Wait...what?

So as it turns out the lads can put up a pretty solid defence if they want to and Hennessey proves to be a bloody good keeper, acrobatically turning away any shot on goal by the Gunners. Arsenal just gets bogged down and each of their attacks simply melt away. It’s a beautiful defensive play by Wolves, though I have very little memory of it, succumbing as I was to a nervous breakdown. It’s difficult to remain calm when there’s twenty minutes left on the clock and you’re trying not to think about the possibility you might come out of this match with a needed draw. Not that the ref was much help...



IT’S THREE MINUTES INJURY TIME, REF, NOT FOUR, NOT FIVE, NOT FIVE AND A BLEEDIN’ HALF! GET YOUR WATCH SORTED!

It was a tense draw, and a harsh reintroduction into competitive matches. But it brings some hope that maybe I have what it takes. Maybe I shouldn’t settle for a relegation battle – I can clearly hold off the big teams and, while there was a bit of luck involved, it came down to my tactics and my players dedication. I begin to think about the possibility of finishing in the top half of the league.

And then I get soundly beaten by Chelsea then Ipswich, and I remember I’m bloody Wolverhampton.


Oh shut up and go back to Suffolk

Shortly after the Ipswich match I get a phonecall from Rufus “Subi” Firefly informing me that he got about a dozen goals in his match, and how did I do and am I still in the League Cup. In retrospect I probably could have replied with less colourful imagery regarding exactly where he could place the League Cup, but I was a bit cross at the time.

The following matches aren’t so bad. Employing the same defensive strategy we used against Arsenal against an uninterested Everton would have resulted in a satisfactory draw, but when Stephen Fletcher is brought down by a horrific tackle by an unsporting Everton defender we’re awarded a penalty, which is duly converted. Win for Wolves!

Newcastle isn’t that great, and neither is the match. We go into the game hoping to get a win, or at worst a draw with a few goals, and instead get a back-and-forth game of footie where no-one seems willing to score a goal. It’s a bit of a worrying effort on our part.



It’s not a bad start to the season, considering who we were up against. Ipswich and Newcastle are our only disappointments, and the next three teams should be more relaxing than the previous lot. Or would be, if not for which team we’re playing next:



I WILL BREAK YOU, FIREFLY!
 
So, we have reached the start of the Premier League season. Time for us to do what we do best. Being better than Kan. And really, as long as I finish ahead of him, I am victorious. Our early schedule isn't too bad. Home games against Tottenham Hotspur and Liverpool, and away games against Fulham and Sunderland. In addition, we have a League Cup Second Round game home to League 2 side Bournemouth.

Our first game, Tottenham. A pretty big club. I just hope that I don't completely embarrass myself. Things go badly for me pretty early, with the Spurs scoring in the 21'. But after that, I don't let in another goal. I actually get a very good chance late in the game, but my team blows it.



Really Kakuta? Just who exactly are you passing to? Cause thats just going to some Spurs players. The idea is to pass to your own team. But I must admit, thats a pretty good effort from a Frenchman.

So, a 1-0 loss in our first game. But we weren't too awful.



Up next is Fulham. After that last game I have a bit of confidence that my team might be able to at least snatch a point from this one. So, lets get started. 13 minutes in, they score a goal. This isn't good. But don't panic, still a lot of time left. 25 minutes in, another goal. Okay, this is bad. But at least I'm only down 2 at the half. Start the second half, five minutes in. Another goal... Oh come on! Learn to play some defence! But at least we get one back at 65'. Only down two goals, and weirder things have happened, right? Another one for them five minutes later...

And just to add insult, they get another one in added time. This is now looking like its going to be a long season...



League Cup against a small team? Sounds like fun. Maybe this will get my team back into good spirits. And oh look, 15 minutes in I'm already up 3-0, with two goals from Leigh Griffiths. Pretty good signing there, wouldn't you say Kan? Sure they got back a goal in the 28th, but Griffiths completes the hat trick for an easy win.



Well, that certainly has me feeling better. I should go check in and see how my arch rival Kan is doing.



Hahahahahahaha! Way to go Kan. Way to embarrass yourself. You just know I'm not going to let you forget this one. And now I'm off to the third round, where I draw...Chelsea...away...oh bloody hell.

Oh well, I got further than Kan. Thats the important thing. Back to League play. Next up for me is Liverpool. And my team manages to keep it scoreless, despite getting absolutely bombarded in shots. And we would have come out of this one with a draw, had Marek Cech not scored an own goal in the 82'. Hmm, I wonder how quickly I'm going to get myself fired...



Sunderland next. I need to get some points out of this one. And Sunderland has 0 points so far just like me. A quick goal from Jara. Things are certainly looking up. Go into the half up 2-1, but they even it up in the 76th. But luckily Leigh Griffiths swoops in with an absolutely brilliant header to put me up 3-2, and deliver us the win! Hooray, our first win of the season!




Now, we just need to turn this into a winning streak. Better look to see who is up next on the schedule.



KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! My arch nemesis! Well, this should be an easy 3 points for me.
 
Woverhampton has an awesome logo, its a shame they wasted it on a soccer team. I could see that logo being the symbol of an awesome mercenary company with nothing to lose.
 
The word soccer is hereby banned!
 
Expert commentary:

Wolves (5 points so far) seem to pretty solid defensively but having troubles scoring goals with their only goal from the penalty mark in their somewhat lucky 1-0 win over Everton. WBA (3 points) seems to have some defensive issues and have let in goals in all their matches so far, but have gotten more done in attack then Wolves. WBA just got their first points and win of the season in their impressive 3-2 away win against Sunderland.

Everything points to this being a close game but i think the home advantage will be the deciding factor, however thing can quickly go the other way if Rufus T. Firefly can't fix his defense or if Kan' Sharuminar can finally get the Wolves attack going.

Game prediction: WBA 2-1 Wolves
 
This is delightful! I've been considering picking up the game, and now perhaps I'll just have to. I hope it represents my beloved Hibs fairly, though. The FIFA games seem to always either overrate or underrate them.
 
Captain2 said:
Woverhampton has an awesome logo
Click to expand...
Whenever I played a football game I would play as them because of the logo, if they're in the game.

I never played a football manager game, but when I play games like FIFA I would go on the manager mode and keep the matches short.
 
The Black Country derby. A match against our most hated rivals, Wolves, and against my arch nemesis, Kan. I simply must win this one. I must win this one.

Both teams come out looking for the victory, with the teams trading chances several times early on. Wolves almost get a solid chance 2 minutes in when Steven Fletcher gets the ball up deep, however West Brom defender Pablo saved the day with a brilliant tackle to strip him of the ball and prevent Wolves from getting a scoring chance.



Things continue on like that for the rest of the half, with each side trying to work the ball up the field. But very little in the way of chances, mostly just long shots. Though my team probably would have gotten a few more shots had it not been for the refs and their love of offsides. I bet Kan payed them to do that.

The first half was really quite boring. But what do you expect from a team like Wolves. Quite likely the dullest team in all of England. And I'm sure Kan encourages that kind of play. Can't trust those Scottish.

The good news for West Brom however, was that the Baggies controlled the ball for much of the half. So if we can continue that into the next half, we have a good chance of collecting a goal and the victory.

In the 48th minutes, Wolves' Stephen Fletcher gets another good opportunity. But of course, being a Wolves player, it ends up nowhere near the net. Trust a Wolves player to miss that. A West Brom player would have at least hit the net. No wonder they can't score goals this season.



But then, in the 61st minute, a breakthrough. Joe Mattock collects a pass with a wide open shot at the Wolves net. Wolves goalkeeper Hennessey makes the initial save, but can't collect the ball, which winds up on the foot of Leigh Griffiths, and he buries it in the back of the net. That £400,000 was worth it just for that goal. So, how is that Robert Pires working out for you? Score any goals? Cause Leigh Griffiths has five for me in league and cup games, including one against you now.



Fastforward a bit now, cause what else could have happened that is more exciting than a goal? How about another one? The play starts with the Wolves' keeper taking a goal kick which is headed by one of my players back towards him. Seems like a relatively harmless play. Surely Hennessey can't make a mess of this, can he? He can. He juggles the ball, and West Brom striker Peter Odemwingie grabs it and fires it into a wide open net to put me up 2-0! Hey Kan, weren't you bragging to me about how great your keeper is? Cause thats two goals I've gotten because of his mistakes.



And since Wolves can't score, its pretty safe to say that the game is won. Just need to play cautious the rest of the game and its in the bag. And thats the way it would stay, as Wolves couldn't mount a significant challenge. Why must your team be so awful, Kan?



Time to celebrate, but not too much, as up next I have to travel to Stamford Bridge to play Chelsea in the League Cup 3rd round...

 
SHEEP IN WOLVES CLOTHING?

A HOWLER FOR THE WOLVES!

BAD WOLF!

KAN REALLY SUCKS – EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH RUFUS T. FIREFLY​

Such headlines will surely await Wolverhampton manager Kan’ Sharuminar in the coming days. It will be a stark contrast to the reports just before the match, in which Kan’ happily dismissed the pressure on him to defeat rivals West Brom and their manager Rufus T. Firefly, claiming it as ‘just another match’ and questioning Firefly’s bodily odours.

​

An away match against your fierce rivals is always a difficult 90 minutes, but even that cannot excuse the harsh defeat inflicted on the brave Wolves. Firefly’s team took advantage of some shocking mistakes by keeper Hennessey in the second half, with the rest of the team struggling to threaten at all after the first 45 minutes.

Despite this, Kan’ Sharuminar was happy enough to attend the post-match press conference in person.

Some poor calls by keeper Hennessey cost Wolves the match. Will he struggle to find a place in future line-ups?
I think it’s a little unfair to blame Hennessey. He’s a foreign player and has been looking towards English goalkeepers for influence. It’s just a bit unfortunate he’s been looking at Robert Green’s World Cup appearance.

Foreign? Isn’t Hennessey from Wales?
I stand by my statement.

Your pre-match taunts of manager Rufus T. Firefly must seem pretty hollow after this defeat?
Not at all. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if his horrid smell was actually a contributing factor in how poorly the Wolverhampton squad played. I’m thinking of submitting an official complaint to the F.A.


An unsurprisingly grumpy Kan’ Sharuminar faces the press questions.​

Newcastle, Ipswich and West Brom. All teams you should have been expected to beat or, in the latter examples, manage a draw. Can you hope to turn it around?
Absolutely! I won’t deny I’m disappointed, but you only have to look at our defensive records, especially against Arsenal and Everton, to see we can hold off the big names.

Speaking of your defensive strategy , some commentators have pointed out the Wolves poor performance in front of goal. Is this a sign players such as Stephen Fletcher aren’t pulling their weight up front?
I’ll admit I’ve paid more attention to the defensive game and look to experiment some more in coming matches.

Any words to the supporters?
Always remember that the enemy is, and always shall be, Rufus T. Firefly.
Click to expand...

Kan’ Sharuminar and his team departed quickly from the Hawthorns grounds, and now look to their future matches against Wigan, Blackpool and Manchester United...
 


"It's half-time here at the Hawthorns, and the sexual tension on the touchline is becoming almost unbearable!"
 
Lol, don't panic Kan it's only losing against SuBi!!!! (sarcasm joke, insert here)!
 
I withdraw my support from the wolves, any wolf that can be beaten by a bird is shameful indeed.

Also, watch out Kan, it appears as though cookie monster is attempting to sneak up on you in your picture.
 
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