The draw against Liverpool is pleasing, and it’s enough to renew morale for the players of Wolverhampton. There’s more to come as both managers of our next opponents, Sunderland and West Ham, make public statements that Wolves simply cannot avoid relegation.
We hammer both teams 2-1.
The incredible victories (oh come on, we take what we can get) is further boosted by the news Wolverhampton are turning a decent profit and, for the first time, a profit margin greater than Mr. Rufus “I have £4 million” Firefly. Being the humble sort of fellow, I get him on the telephone to discuss this development.
Yes, he is using another alias…I think he’s on the run from the mob.
He’s just overawed by my abilities. Probably a bit irritated that Wolves are above West Brom in the league as well. What can I say, I’m just a genius on a shoe-string budget.
And then we start losing. Horribly. Stoke, Manchester City, Aston Villa! The last one was particularly hard to take - they’re doing awful, to the extent that my defeating them could see their manager sacked. Another one! I need all the practice I can get if I want to remove Firefly from his position. Yet my team let me down.
They continue to do so in the next match against Bolton, in which the keeper did the bulk of the work and the rest of the team apparently forgot what to do. Even the normally valiant Stephen Fletcher couldn’t be bothered, and after a string of poor runs I’m forced to make an example out of the boy.
Arsenal next, and if there was ever a team determined to destroy us it would be them. Held to an embarrassing draw by us in the first game of the season, they’ll be looking for some payback. I tell the lads just to do their best and accept the inevitable onslaught that’s gonna…
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Oh. Well that was clearly a lucky shot on our part. We’re only 11 minutes in and there’s absolutely no way that Arsenal are going to let that slide for the next 80 minutes.
Except they do, given that second goal of ours comes at the 88 minute mark. Arsenal tried time and time again, but only managed 2 shots on target compared to our 3, and we made it count. Bloody good show, Wolverhampton, bloody good show! 2-0 against Arsenal, come on you...er, oranges?
And then we lose 2-0 to Chelsea. Old habits, eh?