Peoples of the Premier League, Please Attend Carefully - Subi and Kan FM11 MP AAR

Non-official, got it off one of the fan sites.
 
You know, this intrigued me a lot so I picked up a used copy of FM10. Bad decision, with a bunch of finals papers due soon. Tried a game as Raith Rovers (I usually play as Hibs in FIFA games, but figured I'd start with someone smaller in FM, since it seems harder). Despite barely missing out on promotion, I still found it one of the hardest seasons I've played in any sporting game. I like it :)

Oh, and Kan - I hope Steven Fletcher is working out for you. He's (in real life) one of the finest players to come out of the Hibs youth program in a long while.
 
Oh, and Kan - I hope Steven Fletcher is working out for you. He's (in real life) one of the finest players to come out of the Hibs youth program in a long while.

I know - I've signed him for Celtic in several previous games, and was pleasantly delighted to see Wolves start out with him :D
 
Bolton Wanderers. They wander, just like Wolves. Therefore I must hate them. And play against them this week. Really kind of a boring game. Clearly all wanderers are boring. 0-0 draw, though I was a bit lucky as Bolton missed a penalty shot. So hooray for my goalkeeper!



Up next a visit to Arsenal. I'm totally looking forward to this! Graham Dorrans scores in the 1st minute, causing me to think this might turn out pretty decently. But naturally I am completely wrong, and Arsenal goes and starts scoring goals. 4 to be exact. So thats what I get for being so optimistic.



Kan's team managed a tie this week, against Blackburn. This result caused the Blackburn board to fire Sam Allardyce. And not only that, but apparently Kan is now the betting favourite to replace him. You monster Kan! Get the man fired and then steal his job? How can you sleep at night? I'll have to send Sam a condolence basket of fruit.



The Board gives me a confidence update. Very pleased. My signing of Leigh Griffiths has been a popular one, though they are mad about that Stoke game. But I did have to play that on 3 days rest after taking Chelsea to extra time, so screw that. Also, a nice little profit this month.



After that loss to Arsenal, I get the pleasure of hosting Chelsea at The Hawthorns! I hate this month. And Chelsea decides to wear some puke green jersey. I end up losing 3-0, but I plan on protesting the result to the FA, as those horrid jerseys blinded my players, making it impossible for them to play properly.



7 goals in two games. Could really use some better defending. Leigh Griffiths scores a goal right before half time, proving that at least some Scottish people can be useful. Everton would get one back in the second half, and the game ended in a draw. At least I didn't lose! Yay for points!



Finally, a game against Newcastle United. Pretty boring game, but got really exciting towards the end. Griffiths scores in the 83rd, and just as it looks like I will win the game, Newcastle gets a goal in the 2nd minute of extra time. Disappointed that I would have to settle for a draw, I await the end of the game. But then my team kicks off, and passes the ball forward, where Griffiths gets it, and splits the Newcastle defence, scoring a goal from the edge of the box right before the end of the game! Take that, Newcastle!



Next up a stretch of games against West Ham, Wigan, and Blackpool!
 
With Manchester United out of the way I’m feeling a bit more confident and look forward to our next fixture. Birmingham have been playing very well at the moment, but I’m sure it’s just an early-season burst. What they need is a plucky relegation-challenged team with a skilled manager to take them down a peg or two.



That hurts so, so much, and I’m saying this as someone who has to support Scotland in sporting events. I’m not entirely sure how I’m going to pick the team up after that one. Hell, I’m not sure I really want to – it was a pathetic performance from start to finish. I’m surprised we even got that second goal.

But then, from the darkness, comes a glimmer of light. My elite team of internet-gnomes discover an interesting rumour:



My goodness, I hold this man’s fate in my hands. Denying Blackburn a victory in our upcoming match could end this man’s job, his love, his livelihood. I feel no guilt over such thoughts, no acknowledgment of the fact this time next week Mr. Allardyce could be in the queue at the unemployment centre. My name is Kan’ Sharuminar, I end careers!

This does not, of course, mean Blackburn are going to make it easy for us, and we spend the bulk of the match a goal down with little hope of an equaliser. In the 89th minute however, J. Van Damme (no not that one) takes full advantage of a mistake by the Blackburn keeper and taps the ball into an open goal. It’s all that is needed.



Wait...I’m in the running for replacing the Blackburn manager after getting the previous one sacked? Has professional football organisation taken its cue from klingon society – backstab those seen as incompetent so you can take their position? Are we just an organised group of ruthless managers ruled by a corrupt, out of touch leadership?



Ohhhhhhhhhhhh...

The joy of ending a man’s profession is all too brief, as the following week sees Wolves defeated by Tottenham and manage a draw against Fulham. Both are understandable results, but that does little to calm me down. Wolverhampton have gone six straight games without seeing a victory and we’re on the wrong side of the relegation line.

Which is why I’m more than a little disappointed to see my next game is against Liverpool on their home grounds at Anfield. Lovely. My only hope is that they are ‘inspired’ by the real-life Liverpool team and give us a win. Or at least a draw? I could get by on a draw.



Thank you Doyle. Thank you.
 
Hah, Fat Sam getting sacked fills my heart with warmth. There are only two managers I truly despise, and he's one of them. The other is Arsene Wenger, but I don't see him getting sacked anytime soon, for shame. Good result against Liverpool, though!
 
Kan' you tempted to jump ship, or stick as you are?
 
One of the rules is we aren't allowed to jump ship unless fired. :p
 
About that, how do you stand with the board?

losing with 5-2 against birmingham can't be good...
 
Kan' you tempted to jump ship, or stick as you are?

As Subi says, I'm not allowed to leave unless fired. That said, I wouldn't want to leave unless fired - this has been a fun game so far :D

About that, how do you stand with the board?

losing with 5-2 against birmingham can't be good...

It was a harsh defeat, but it was a result of over-confidence on my part. I genuinely hoped that going all-out against an overachieving Birmingham might work to our advantage, and I was wanting to see what Wolves are like on a more offensive strategy. It, er, didn't work.

Board standing might make for an amusing update in its own right, so I'll keep that a secret for now ;)
 
Fresh off a victory against Newcastle United, time to head off to face West Ham. Game I could win. Blow a 1-0 lead, but manage to tie it up to preserve a draw. And after this stretch of games coming up, I'm going to need it.



Now off to Wigan. Surely I can win this game, right? Wrong, and don't call me Shirley. (ba dum tsh!)



Games against West Ham, Wigan, and Blackpool. I had been hoping to win these easier games and give myself a big boost in the standings.

So, back home. Lowly Blackpool. Wolves lost to them, so I have to win this one. And I do! 3-1! I actually scored 3 goals! Granted, it was Blackpool. Maybe I can string this into a winning streak.



Oh bloody hell. Manchester United. My only goal here is to keep the score respectable.

5-2 is not respectable, I failed that miserably.



But hey, Birmingham City is next. And its home. Clearly I can win this game. No, no I can't. Birmingham won it on a goal at 94'. I hate those extra time goals.



Alright, a bad string of results. Maybe a trip to Blackburn can shake things up. Considering Kan got the last manager fired, maybe things are still chaotic around here. Blew a 2-1 lead, had to settle for a draw.



Whats next? Tottenham? Oh dear...



OH GOD, WHAT IS THIS, I DON'T EVEN...

FREAKING FOOTBALL, HOW DOES IT WORK

Finally, a visit to Fulham. After that trainwreck of a game, there is no way I can do worse. Come away with a draw. The way things are going, the remainder of the season is going to be very long indeed.



1-3-4 in this stretch. But there is some good news. I'm still beating Kan!

 
The draw against Liverpool is pleasing, and it’s enough to renew morale for the players of Wolverhampton. There’s more to come as both managers of our next opponents, Sunderland and West Ham, make public statements that Wolves simply cannot avoid relegation.

We hammer both teams 2-1.

The incredible victories (oh come on, we take what we can get) is further boosted by the news Wolverhampton are turning a decent profit and, for the first time, a profit margin greater than Mr. Rufus “I have £4 million” Firefly. Being the humble sort of fellow, I get him on the telephone to discuss this development.


Yes, he is using another alias…I think he’s on the run from the mob.

He’s just overawed by my abilities. Probably a bit irritated that Wolves are above West Brom in the league as well. What can I say, I’m just a genius on a shoe-string budget.

And then we start losing. Horribly. Stoke, Manchester City, Aston Villa! The last one was particularly hard to take - they’re doing awful, to the extent that my defeating them could see their manager sacked. Another one! I need all the practice I can get if I want to remove Firefly from his position. Yet my team let me down.

They continue to do so in the next match against Bolton, in which the keeper did the bulk of the work and the rest of the team apparently forgot what to do. Even the normally valiant Stephen Fletcher couldn’t be bothered, and after a string of poor runs I’m forced to make an example out of the boy.



Arsenal next, and if there was ever a team determined to destroy us it would be them. Held to an embarrassing draw by us in the first game of the season, they’ll be looking for some payback. I tell the lads just to do their best and accept the inevitable onslaught that’s gonna…

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Oh. Well that was clearly a lucky shot on our part. We’re only 11 minutes in and there’s absolutely no way that Arsenal are going to let that slide for the next 80 minutes.



Except they do, given that second goal of ours comes at the 88 minute mark. Arsenal tried time and time again, but only managed 2 shots on target compared to our 3, and we made it count. Bloody good show, Wolverhampton, bloody good show! 2-0 against Arsenal, come on you...er, oranges?

And then we lose 2-0 to Chelsea. Old habits, eh?
 
This is my favourite AAR in which I have no clue whats happening.
 
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