Performance Review

[Simon Darkshade]

Official Document, leaked by sources unknown:


FROM THE DESK OF THE EVIL HUMAN
RESOURCES DIRECTOR:

Performance Appraisal for Mr. PaleHorse76:

Mr.PaleHorse76 has proven to be one of the company's larger investments. He is willing to take risks and he knows the value of office equipment. He has a wide variety of interests and pursuits. He fully understands the extent of his responsibilities. Our company benefits have not been wasted on Mr.PaleHorse76. Moreover, Mr. PaleHorse76 actively pursues relationships with his coworkers. No one has caught him sleeping on the job.

* In Strict Confidence *




Try this for more: http://www.comics.com/comics/dilbert/games/career/html/questions.html

 

[damunzy]

FROM THE DESK OF THE EVIL HUMAN
RESOURCES DIRECTOR:

Performance Appraisal for President Darkshade:
President Darkshade is frequently mentioned in executive meetings. As an employee, he is a management textbook example. He works behind the scenes. I find that President Darkshade frequently thinks "outside the box". A reevaluation of his salary is long overdue. He shows potential for unbounded improvement. Without a doubt, his usefulness to the division is self evident.

* In Strict Confidence *

 

[damunzy]

 

[Simon Darkshade]

FROM THE DESK OF THE EVIL HUMAN
RESOURCES DIRECTOR:

Performance Appraisal for Congressman PaleHorse76:
One can not say enough good things about him. It would be accurate to say that his full capabilities have only been recently discovered. For completeness I should mention that his future with this company is not in doubt. Indeed, he sets a compelling example for the younger employees. The possibility of hiring more employees like Congressman PaleHorse76 should be discussed immediately. It is apparent that he shows an interest in related tasks not assigned to him. He has left his mark on the division. His usefulness to the division is self evident and he has name recognition throughout the divisions.

* In Strict Confidence *




Performance Appraisal for Dr. Thunderfall:
A thorough analysis of his performance will surprise you and he knows the value of office equipment. His core values show through in his work and he is not afraid to ask questions that check the assumptions of others. Additionally, the quality of his work is well known and he has a wide variety of interests and pursuits. It would be accurate to say that he shows an interest in related tasks not assigned to him. Without a doubt, such an employee demonstrates the importance of proper recruiting and his future with this company is not in doubt. Any division would be lucky to get Dr. Thunderfall to work for them.

* In Strict Confidence *



Edit: Oooh!! Oooh!! How do I get one of those pretty pictures?

 

[gonzo_for_civ]

This is a great thread... too bad it's not funny

Of course, it also seems like a simon darkshade attempt to out spam PH which can never happen!

 

[damunzy]

Too each their own commedy[sic]!!!

 

[SKILORD]

If you see the site it is funny

FROM THE DESK OF THE EVIL HUMAN
RESOURCES DIRECTOR:

Performance Appraisal for Mr. Wilczynski:
He has left his mark on the division. He is not afraid to ask questions that check the assumptions of others and many employees have indicated that they are eager to comment on his work. His performance defies measurement. The quality of his work is well known. For completeness I should mention that Mr. Wilczynski works behind the scenes. Mr. Wilczynski has proven to be one of the company's larger investments. Additionally, it's tough for management to keep up with Mr. Wilczynski and any division would be lucky to get him to work for them. Without a doubt, a reevaluation of his assignments may be in order.

* In Strict Confidence *

 

[Zarn]

Too many big words! Just kidding.

FROM THE DESK OF THE EVIL HUMAN
RESOURCES DIRECTOR:

Performance Appraisal for Mr. Zarn:
He is the....he's a good...err...he is good. The fact that he is good is good. Okay, he is not good. He is terrible. He needs some help. Although, he can make good peanut butter and jelly sandwhichs. Not that I ate his sandwhich. This is the only reason why that he is still here. I have to find someone that makes a good as sandwhich as he does. I hate his stupid polls.

*In Strict Conference*

 

[SKILORD]

FROM THE DESK OF THE EVIL HUMAN
RESOURCES DIRECTOR:

Performance Appraisal for Mr. Gonzo_for_civ:
He frequently thinks "outside the box". Indeed, his work may greatly impact the company. His worth to the company can only be imagined. He is not afraid to ask questions that check the assumptions of others. He makes decisions with minimal direction. Any division would be lucky to get Mr. Gonzo_for_civ to work for them. He shows an interest in related tasks not assigned to him. He fully understands the extent of his responsibilities.

* In Strict Confidence *

 

[Simon Darkshade]

FROM THE DESK OF THE EVIL HUMAN
RESOURCES DIRECTOR:

Performance Appraisal for Mr. Adolf Hitler:
One can not say enough good things about him. As an employee, Mr. Adolf Hitler is a management textbook example and he fully understands the extent of his responsibilities. Indeed, his full capabilities have only been recently discovered. Without a doubt, his name is frequently mentioned in executive meetings. Mr. Adolf Hitler has proven to be one of the company's larger investments. Any division would be lucky to get Mr. Adolf Hitler to work for them and his future with this company is not in doubt. Mr. Adolf Hitler was tasked with many assignments this year.

* In Strict Confidence *



FROM THE DESK OF THE EVIL HUMAN
RESOURCES DIRECTOR:

Performance Appraisal for Dr. Joseph Goebbels:
Dr. Joseph Goebbels is willing to take risks and many employees have indicated that they are eager to comment on his work. Dr. Joseph Goebbels appears ever productive and has been seen dropping in at off hours and as an employee, he is a management textbook example. He never appears stressed about his work. Dr. Joseph Goebbels has proven to be one of the company's larger investments. Dr. Joseph Goebbels prefers to work under minimal supervision. Dr. Joseph Goebbels handles assignments with unlooked-for creativity. Additionally, he has name recognition throughout the divisions and his work sets him apart from his peers.

* In Strict Confidence *


FROM THE DESK OF THE EVIL HUMAN
RESOURCES DIRECTOR:

Performance Appraisal for Mr. Martin Bormann:
He has a wide variety of interests and pursuits. He sets a compelling example for the younger employees. Mr. Martin Bormann was tasked with many assignments this year and he shows potential for unbounded improvement. The quality of his work is well known and he works behind the scenes. It's tough for management to keep up with Mr. Martin Bormann. Mr. Martin Bormann has left his mark on the division and he does the kind of work you don't expect to see today. His worth to the company can only be imagined. He never appears stressed about his work.

* In Strict Confidence *