The farms established just out of the outskirts of Caen easily attracted people far and wide to the so-called "mythical safe haven". A place where food was guaranteed to be found was a great improvement over scavenging the remains of civilization. But farming took time, so only livestock was currently available.
This wasn't a bad thing per-se, but if the livestock were gone, than there would be no more food. Thus, many farmers are knowledgeable in arms, and have killed living beings (Livestock, you sadistic people). Thus, a lonely farmer looked out to the pastures, with a shotgun in hand.
He could see a couple of small specks out in the distance near the sheep. "
Raiders", he thought, so the farmer pumped his shotgun and chased over to the sheep. There, he saw what appears to be a family of five looking hungrily, about to strike his precious livestock.
"HALT!", yelled the farmer. The kids, all young started scurrying over to their parents. The father swore and said, "Wir wollen keine Probleme. Können wir ein Schaf?". It like a foreign language to the farmer, for it was so. These people weren't even from France, and yet they feel like they're entitled to the Emperor's sheep? Bullcrap! But the wanderers took the silence as approval, and slowly approached the sheep. The farmer glared intensely at them, but he was ignored. They touched the ewe, and the father pulled out a knife.
The farmer had no difficulty unleashing the 12-Gauge out on him. His head exploded, sending chunks and blood everywhere. The mother and the kids ran away screaming bloody murder. Pump, and then the mother fell. Without missing once, the three kids, all female, were all killed. He sighed and pumped out the last shell, still having one left. The only regret? The fleece of the sheep was stained with their filthy blood. It will take hours cleaning that off.
---
The next day, he was called down to an empty, uninhabited building, now converted to a sort of meeting house. Guillaume wished to see him personally there. "Oh god, what did I do?", the farmer asked in a sarcastic tone. Guillaume said, “You killed five unarmed people without breaking a sweat or missing. Some people are calling you..., erm, whoever you are, psychotic. Thus, there is only one option left”. He paused, looking straight at the farmer in the eyes, and said, “I have to encourage you to enlist. Please do so. We need people like you down in Paris”. The farmer was completely shocked at this news. No punishment? Just a job offering? He nodded to the Emperor, who then nodded back. “Okay, all I need is your name, and you’ll be in
La Grandé Armeé.
The farmer said, “I don’t have a name, remember? I have amnesia. Your scouts found me in a river one day, revived me, and handed me a spade.” Guillaume sternly stared at him, saying, “Now, we both know amnesia doesn’t work that way. That’s just anime logic. You will not be punished for what you did yesterday. I need your name just for the records.” Just then, a random person casually strolled by, saying, “Hey, Emperor, hey, Farmer. How’s this wonderful day treating you?”, and casually walked away. Guillaume facepalmed and said, “Alright, fine. You win. But calling a soldier “Farmer” is just weird. Can you just make up a name?”. The farmer looked to his side and said, “Hmm, X. My new name is X.” By now the Emperor was getting slightly annoyed. “Look, I know you were looking at that old SNES cartridge on that shelf over there. Yeah, “Mega Man X”. But I don’t care anymore. Welcome to the corps, Private X”. He then dismissed the new private and looked at the meeting room. There were shelves full of old, classic video games, and even some consoles and 3 TVs. Surprisingly, everything still worked once he turned on the generator. A plan hatched into his mind.
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To: FSE
From: TFE
As much as we would love your help, we can’t for three reasons:
1. You are in Austrialia. We are in Europe. It’s a long way to France, and I don’t think you can reach us.
2. This city is very dear to us. From Notre Dame to the Eiffel Tower, these monuments are suffering neglect. We know you’re one of the finest pilots, but we can’t risk the possibility of further damage
3. We have nothing to give back in return. You would be risking the lives of your wingmen just so one random native nation can get a city back. We’ll feel very guilty about that.