Random Rants ΠΕ': You're standing on my neck.

[hobbsyoyo]

today on the drive home from work, i slow for a red light, and a guy goes into the oncoming traffic lane and flies past me to run the red light

Did he get into an accident?

 

[Cutlass]

Did he get into an accident?

Unfortunately,no.

 

[Takhisis]

Unfortunately? Even if it's all about yourself, at least you don't have to testify in court for an insurance claim or worse.

 

[Cutlass]

Unfortunately? Even if it's all about yourself, at least you don't have to testify in court for an insurance claim or worse.

If he didn't hit me, then I don't need to stick around for the cops.

 

[JohannaK]

Cutlass!

 

[hobbsyoyo]

I need to get my binge eating under control

 

[aimeeandbeatles]

Rant: Cutlass has no avatar. He needs to put one in.

 

[Synobun]

I ate spoiled bacon, it seems. It was a little slimy and darkened but smelled and tasted fine. However, my body has set the record straight.

This ended up being far worse than originally assumed, and am only just now exiting an incoherent hallucinatory state. I would not like to repeat this experience.

 

[Kaitzilla]

Someone needs to open up a bank in the USA that is open 12 hours a day, 7 days a week!
And has a free-to-use coinstar change-counter thingy!

 

[aimeeandbeatles]

Ah. Crap.

(The half-a-paragraph I wrote last week doesn't even count because it was unusable.)

 

[Takhisis]

This ended up being far worse than originally assumed, and am only just now exiting an incoherent hallucinatory state. I would not like to repeat this experience.

Damn right, you need coherent hallucinations.

 

[Broken_Erika]

This ended up being far worse than originally assumed, and am only just now exiting an incoherent hallucinatory state. I would not like to repeat this experience.

The Bacon of Visions?

 

[The_J]

My ex just texted, snd she is really sad, and decided to see a therapist, and now I'm really sad too and crying a bit .

 

[Lemon Merchant]

Actually, The_J, you should be happy about this. She's getting help for her condition. A lot of people suffer in silence.

 

[The_J]

Yes, that is good, I know.
I am just so very sad about the situation she is in, and I feel responsible, and could have prevented it, and that makes me feel so terrible, and i just feel with her .

 

[The_J]

I broke up with her, because at that time I didn't feel strongly about the relationship. I thought she neither. She said today that at that time she cried a lot.

I always wondered if I can feel love.
I was bullied in school. I read at some point a few years ago that if you try to surpress negative emotions, like I did at this time, it will have an overall effect, you squash all emotions. I can't find the proper term for this, there must be a wikipedia article, maybe Lemon knows?
My inner armchair psychologist notices that. I am not easily emotionally moved, neither positive, nor negative (i have a generally pessimitic attitude though) . I don't get sad a lot, but I dont laugh a lot either.
Yet I'm crying now here for an hour, because I am feeling terrible about the situation and feel strongly with her.
I wonder if I loved her, or if I love her now.
During non-intense situations I am fine with how it is right now, and that she is far away. So maybe not?
But if there was a way to resolve parts of this (like the bloody visa situation) by moving 1200km back and leaving this job behind, I would do it right now.
But maybe not tomorrow, when I am not crying.

Another part that is involved is that I felt unloved for a long time (10+ years). I did not have any romantic/sexual experiences. But she likes me. Maybe the damaged me does not feel love, but does not want to die alone? I would not want to do that. Neither for me, nor for her. She deserves real love.

Maybe I need to see a therapist too.
A few years ago I thought I was innerly okay, but maybe I'm not.

I guess tomorrow I will call a lawyer to see if something can be done about the visa.
I hope not to buy a flight ticket back tomorrow. I think that will work though.

I hope this prick of other ex-BF controls himself though. He has not texted her for 2 weeks, which is good. I fear a sudden escalation though, either physically, or legally.



EDIT: sorry for this, having a hard time right now .

 

[Cutlass]

Last year I recycled a lot of old computers and machines and other e-waste. You aren't supposed to just throw this stuff away. But most people do, because it's a pain in the ass to recycle it. But what I didn't do it go through the storage bins I have and recycle what's useless in that. So I've been doing a bit of that. And there's a lot of stuff that's not obsolete, but I probably won't use, like cat-5 cables and usb cables. But because USB has so many different connector types, a lot of the usb cables I have are of types I probably won't use. And coax cables aren't useful so much, since a lot fewer devices use them. So I've got like 2 large bins of cables that odds are I won't be using again. Now some of them are almost certainly of no use any longer, like disk drive ribbon cables. But for others, I don't always know what is and what isn't. And some of them, they're perfectly usable, but only by somebody else, because over the decades of just putting things in storage rather than tossing them, I've collected way in the hell more than I will ever use, even of things that I do use, like the standard PC power cable. Old style printer serial cables and monitor cables I know will never make a comeback. And whole bunches of AV cables of types still in use, just not by me. And some specialty stuff that I can't even remember what it had gone to. And a lot of this stuff I can't tell what's worth keeping, and what I should just toss.

 

[choxorn]

Maybe I need to see a therapist too.
A few years ago I thought I was innerly okay, but maybe I'm not.

Reading your post, yeah, definitely, you should, you've clearly got a lot of not-okay innerly stuff, and that's fine, lots of people do, the first step to feeling better about it is admitting you've got issues and seeking help for them.

 

[The_J]

6-7 years ago I was a total inner wreck, and did see a therapist (somehow missed that in the long post). It was good and necessary.
Right now I am normally emotionally fine. Somewhat an inferiority complex on the romantic side, but normally not terrible either. Some fear of dying alone too, but same there.

Maybe it's right now also my own stress with new job and country (and the blood Airbnb), but that actually went all fine.
So not sure what's happening right now :/.


EDIT: It's nearly 1 AM, i need to get up at 7, can't sleep and have despite paracetamol and aspirin a headache. Great .

 

[Timsup2nothin]

Therapists are trained to teach their clients additional coping skills and self analysis methods that they may never stumble across on their own. In a very bottom line sense everyone can benefit from seeing a therapist.