Random Rants LV: The Joy of Ranting
- Thread starter Leonel
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I live to serve.
My name is choxorn, and I approve this message.
cybrxkhan
Asian Xwedodah
I'm not as freaked out by clowns as my brother, but hearing about this was kinda unsettling. According to some of the comments though apparently this was supposed to be a charity stunt that went out of hand.
gay_Aleks
from the river to the sea, Palestine will be free!
Finally, some quality journalism from Daily Mail. Once one of their headlines contain the words "EVIL CLOWNS" in full caps, it means they've thoroughly researched their topic.
sounds like a good PR stunt.I look terrible with a beard, so no, thanks.
Cranky probably yes (my colleagues refer to me as "the grumpy German"), but no, not jealous. If I was, then I'd have been there ^^. I know a couple of girls where this could apply, but not to my student.
But whatever.
classical_hero
In whom I trust
Unfortunately for me my beard doesn't go in one direction and at a certain length the hairs just curls up and never get any longer. Plus those near my nose seem to want to curl up and annoy the heck out me by irritating my nose.
GoodSarmatian
Jokerfied Western Male
- Joined
- Apr 25, 2006
- Messages
- 9,408
Still got no functioning videocard. At least i can use my PC for non-gaming stuff and older games or indie titles.
And while I am complaining about first world problems: My new psu and ssd are so silent that it freaks me out, and the new 10€ bank notes are even uglier than the new 5€ notes.
And while I am complaining about first world problems: My new psu and ssd are so silent that it freaks me out, and the new 10€ bank notes are even uglier than the new 5€ notes.
JohannaK
Heroically Clueless
I prefer the new bank notes. They look more modern.
aimeeandbeatles
watermelon
- Joined
- Apr 5, 2007
- Messages
- 20,112
It's annoying to suddenly have the urgent need to take a nap when you're busy doing things.
Hygro
soundcloud.com/hygro/
This happened to me today while playing Starcraft. Whacksauce. Now I'm awake at night, that was not the plan.
MagisterCultuum
Great Sage
I still have not had much luck with my job search. Soon it will be four years since graduation, with only two job interviews and no offers.
I've had hardly any contact with any friends since graduating college. I can see on Facebook that most of the people with whom I wish I'd stayed in close contact were in town last week, for our mutual friends' weddings. I did not get an invitation to these weddings, or even know they would be happening until after the fact when the photographs started flooding my Facebook feed.
Had I found a local job sooner (or had retirement and leukemia left my dad so stingy about gas money), I probably would have commuted to the church I attended while at Georgia Tech and kept in close contact with my friends there. As it is, the idea of reaching back out to them after years apart, especially since they look so happy without me, seems very awkward.
I discovered that that church has for the past year been holding some meetings for graduates not too far from where I live. The Sunday services are still a bit of a drive, but the Friday night prayer meetings are no further than my family's church. It looks like the people I actually cared about there have moved on though. I 'm not sure that spending time with people with whom I was only vaguely acquainted years ago is better than meeting strangers.
(I wasn't as happy with that church in my last year there anyway. My best friends graduated and left a year before me. As the congregation grew larger it seemed to become more cliquish and homogenous, in personality and ideas as well as race. It was probably 70% Asian at its best, and more like 97% Asian now.)
I haven't felt at home at my family's church for a decade, and have found even more problems with it lately. Their doctrine has been shifting more and more towards the authoritarian end of the religious right. The pastor makes mistakes frequently, and my current Sunday School teacher has expressed some views I find outrageous. I don't think there is anyone else there (except my sister) within the age range of 3 years younger than me to 10 year older than me. There is no one there with whom I could picture myself being friends, with one exception.
During the past couple months I felt myself falling for that exception. It is the first time I let myself develop and attachment in the past four years. We only recently had a chance to get to know each other personally in private conversations, although we've known each other from church for more than a year, when we happened to arrive early on days when everyone else was late. She is a kind, attractive, talented, and intelligent. She is a junior at Emory with a double major in the interdisciplinary Neuroscience and Behavioral Biology program on the pre-med track, who has maintained a 3.91 GPA while never taking fewer than 19 credit hours per semester. That is while also doing research and being very involved in an A Capella group, a sorority, and several charitable organizations (particularly those for orphans). She is an orphan from Vietnam who was adopted at 9 months old and raised in Kentucky, who attended her state's equivalent of GHP like I did here in Georgia.
(I did feel like she was too young for me. Her petiteness and neotenous Asian features did not help. We pass the "age/2+7" rule now, but not when we first met. I turn 27 a month and a half before she turns 21. Traditionally I have preferred girls slightly older than myself. My precarious economic situation and her busy schedule would be bigger impediments than age though.)
Last Sunday (when my family stayed home as the rest of them were not feeling well), I decided to go ahead and send her a private message on Facebook explaining how I felt about her. I got a response the next morning saying that she was not interested romantically but hopes we can be friends.
I sent a reply in which I think sounded overeager to become close friends, expressing myself much more openly and directly than I would have had I not been feeling so completely friendless. I'm afraid I came on too strong and that as a result things will be really awkward between us now.
She skipped Sunday School this week (as did almost everyone else, since most of the class are Georgia Tech or Emory students and it is their Fall Break), but came to sing during the main service. While she was on stage I felt like she was looking in every direction but mine, as if trying to avoid making any eye contact with me.
I've had good conversations with my one confidante (who was once my unrequited first love, but for the past several years has felt more like a big sister) for the past two Mondays (after about a month of her ignoring my calls), but just got an email saying that she has decided to cut off all contact for the foreseeable future. She said she likes to help me with my burdens, but has far too many burdens of her own right now to be invested in me. She has to focus on caring for her infant goddaughter, whose father is not expected to survive his battle with cancer.
Edit: and now she un-friended me on Facebook.
I've had hardly any contact with any friends since graduating college. I can see on Facebook that most of the people with whom I wish I'd stayed in close contact were in town last week, for our mutual friends' weddings. I did not get an invitation to these weddings, or even know they would be happening until after the fact when the photographs started flooding my Facebook feed.
Had I found a local job sooner (or had retirement and leukemia left my dad so stingy about gas money), I probably would have commuted to the church I attended while at Georgia Tech and kept in close contact with my friends there. As it is, the idea of reaching back out to them after years apart, especially since they look so happy without me, seems very awkward.
I discovered that that church has for the past year been holding some meetings for graduates not too far from where I live. The Sunday services are still a bit of a drive, but the Friday night prayer meetings are no further than my family's church. It looks like the people I actually cared about there have moved on though. I 'm not sure that spending time with people with whom I was only vaguely acquainted years ago is better than meeting strangers.
(I wasn't as happy with that church in my last year there anyway. My best friends graduated and left a year before me. As the congregation grew larger it seemed to become more cliquish and homogenous, in personality and ideas as well as race. It was probably 70% Asian at its best, and more like 97% Asian now.)
I haven't felt at home at my family's church for a decade, and have found even more problems with it lately. Their doctrine has been shifting more and more towards the authoritarian end of the religious right. The pastor makes mistakes frequently, and my current Sunday School teacher has expressed some views I find outrageous. I don't think there is anyone else there (except my sister) within the age range of 3 years younger than me to 10 year older than me. There is no one there with whom I could picture myself being friends, with one exception.
During the past couple months I felt myself falling for that exception. It is the first time I let myself develop and attachment in the past four years. We only recently had a chance to get to know each other personally in private conversations, although we've known each other from church for more than a year, when we happened to arrive early on days when everyone else was late. She is a kind, attractive, talented, and intelligent. She is a junior at Emory with a double major in the interdisciplinary Neuroscience and Behavioral Biology program on the pre-med track, who has maintained a 3.91 GPA while never taking fewer than 19 credit hours per semester. That is while also doing research and being very involved in an A Capella group, a sorority, and several charitable organizations (particularly those for orphans). She is an orphan from Vietnam who was adopted at 9 months old and raised in Kentucky, who attended her state's equivalent of GHP like I did here in Georgia.
(I did feel like she was too young for me. Her petiteness and neotenous Asian features did not help. We pass the "age/2+7" rule now, but not when we first met. I turn 27 a month and a half before she turns 21. Traditionally I have preferred girls slightly older than myself. My precarious economic situation and her busy schedule would be bigger impediments than age though.)
Last Sunday (when my family stayed home as the rest of them were not feeling well), I decided to go ahead and send her a private message on Facebook explaining how I felt about her. I got a response the next morning saying that she was not interested romantically but hopes we can be friends.
I sent a reply in which I think sounded overeager to become close friends, expressing myself much more openly and directly than I would have had I not been feeling so completely friendless. I'm afraid I came on too strong and that as a result things will be really awkward between us now.
She skipped Sunday School this week (as did almost everyone else, since most of the class are Georgia Tech or Emory students and it is their Fall Break), but came to sing during the main service. While she was on stage I felt like she was looking in every direction but mine, as if trying to avoid making any eye contact with me.
I've had good conversations with my one confidante (who was once my unrequited first love, but for the past several years has felt more like a big sister) for the past two Mondays (after about a month of her ignoring my calls), but just got an email saying that she has decided to cut off all contact for the foreseeable future. She said she likes to help me with my burdens, but has far too many burdens of her own right now to be invested in me. She has to focus on caring for her infant goddaughter, whose father is not expected to survive his battle with cancer.
Edit: and now she un-friended me on Facebook.
Hygro
soundcloud.com/hygro/
May I suggest counseling? It's the last paragraph that made me think it. It's great to have friends to confide in but when our feelings get too heavy for them to bear, it's often healthier for us, them, and everybody to find a fitting counselor.
I know you didn't ask advice. Disregard at your pleasure.
I know you didn't ask advice. Disregard at your pleasure.
MagisterCultuum
Great Sage
I've certainly been considering it. I'm mostly concerned about the cost.
Actually, I'm mostly concerned about asking my father to cover the costs. He is secretive enough about finances that I can't really know how poorly we are doing, but I can tell that spending money really worries him.
When he found out that my sister's psychiatrist is not covered under our new health insurance, he was literally moaning over the idea of having to pay out of pocket. He went ahead and did so because she is on medications which it would be very unwise to quit cold turkey.
I'm really not comfortable with the idea of taking psychiatric pharmaceuticals like my sister. (She has suffered several side effects. She is older than me, but it seems like her development was arrested enough that time together feels like babysitting someone much younger. She idolizes me too much to easily relate.) I'm quite open to forms of talk therapy, which would probably require more frequent sessions, but have trouble picturing my dad being willing to pay for it. If I brought the topic up I expect he'd recommend talking to the Pastor or Sunday school teacher instead, which I don't think would work well as disagreements with them form a significant part of my complaints.
Apart from the finances, I'd also be somewhat embarrassed to have my parents or especially my sister find out. Right now I don't have many excuses to leave the house except on errands for my parents, so it would be hard to keep private.
Having a job could solve both problems, providing independent income and explaining my absence. Going back for grad school could also work, if I could find a way to fund it.
I did take advantage of the free counseling that was available when I was a college student, but not as soon as I probably should have. I waited until the start of my 4th year to give it a try. After my first session felt enough better that I did not feel the need to schedule more until it was too late. By the time school got stressful, all the counselors were fully booked and they said I'd have to wait until the spring. I saw someone almost every week during my last spring semester, although I don't think he was nearly as good at his job as the first guy.
It was talking with homeless man I met while walking back from my second counseling session in February 2010 that finally gave me the nerve to get back in contact with the unrequited first love who would become my closest confidante. For much of that semester I discussed the same things with the counselor and with the friend. Talking to her made me feel a lot better than talking to him ever did, but talking to him first did seem to help me better express myself to her. There were a couple topics where I was teary and barely coherent with him, but then calm and eloquent with her the next day. I don't think a professional counselor could replace such a friendship, but one could help it out.
I did not go back for more counseling in my final semester, as there was a limited number of sessions that the school fees covered per calender year and I only had a couple left. That counselor was moving away, so I would have probably wasted my last sessions rehashing the same stuff as background before feeling able to move on to something new.
gay_Aleks
from the river to the sea, Palestine will be free!
I hate Gmail. It annoys me. Especially the "one mail for everything". And that they want your phone. For security.
And of course, responsible use of cloud technology is usually "dicking around".
And of course, responsible use of cloud technology is usually "dicking around".
The phone security thing almost got me in trouble when I tried logging into my Outlook/Hotmail overseas.
Hygro
soundcloud.com/hygro/
Well MagisterC, seems like you're in a tough spot but you know the solutions, so that's looking up.
JohannaK
Heroically Clueless
Well, I feel odd. Not exactly sleepy nor dizzy, but definitely not well. I mean I almost fell asleep in class, and then I blatantly checked my phone, which of course is not allowed. It was like my brain just wasn't working properly.
Gary Childress
Student for and of life
My personal rant is toward God.
Why on Earth did you, God, make THQ go out of business? Now who is going to do Dawn of War III? Huh? Did you think of that before you put THQ out of business? No. I suspect you didn't. Therefore you do not exist!
OK. I feel better now. I hope God isn't pissed at me now...
Why on Earth did you, God, make THQ go out of business? Now who is going to do Dawn of War III? Huh? Did you think of that before you put THQ out of business? No. I suspect you didn't. Therefore you do not exist!
OK. I feel better now. I hope God isn't pissed at me now...
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