[RFC] Rome: Eternal Empire

[MoreEpicThanYou]

TEH COLONIAL UPDATE COMES... Soon! I've already played it...

Random Citizen: A colon... in Al?

Me: ...

 

[MoreEpicThanYou]

And we begin the Colon in Al update with... an Aztec revolt in one of my cities. OH COME ON!

We has circumnavigatified teh world! PARTY!!!

Yay for colonization!
Random Citizen! Colonization? YOURE TURNING PEOPLE INTO COLONS! AAAAH!

Dawg soldiers blocking Roman Chicago.
Dawg soldier 1: Yo, wassup.
Dawg soldier 2: We gon' kill you!
Epic Longbowman: Oh, you want a rap battle?

Sadly, one kind of battle my soldiers are not trained to fight in is the rap battle. I'll have to work on that... Minions! Start rapping!

Roman Denver. MOAR COLONIZATION!
Random citizen: AAAAAAAAAAH!

An English galleon? I'm not as far ahead as I though... Go settle and get flipp'd by the Americans.

Dawg soldier 1: Yo, wassup.
Dawg soldier 2: We gon' kill you like da last dude!
Epic Currasier: Oh, yea?

Horray! The dawg soldier died from a combination of guns and being overwhelmed by horrible rapping. Now for more colonization!
(A cookie to those who saw the line below coming.)
Random citizen: THE MADNESS HASN'T STOPPED!

Recapturing time!

And again!

NOW he will capitulate...

but he has puny defenses.

Mansa gets vassal'd!

OH MY (insert long string of swears here)! I should have vassal'd the Aztecs...

Another vassal request! They ARE at war with Japan, but they're so far away they won't be able to do anything.

Oh noes.

Will the Aztec remnants take more cities? Will Japan do anything? Will more Roman colonization happen? Find out next time, on Rome: Eternal Empire!
Random Citizen: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

 

[hoplitejoe]

Someone has to say it...
WHY DIDN'T YOU ARPINUM SETTLE ON THE OIL!!!

 

[MoreEpicThanYou]

The spot I put it in is Denver, one of the best American spots there is!

 

[hoplitejoe]

Nope, where the oil is is much better

 

[MoreEpicThanYou]

If it's for the sole purpose of getting the oil, I already built the well, just didn't put it in a screenie.

 

[hoplitejoe]

Just look at the land, In your BFC you have loads of mountains and some desert.
Now look if you had settled on the oil, juicy plain land.

 

[Yoshiegg737]

Someone has to say it...
WHY DIDN'T YOU ARPINUM SETTLE ON THE OIL!!!

Because he's More Epic Than You

ZING!

 

[Tambien]

Because he's Less Epic Than You

ZING!

Fixed.

I think the Epic Wars have expanded.

 

[MoreEpicThanYou]

EPIC WARS

The Epic Knights
MoreEpicThanYou
Yoshiegg737

The Sithbien
Darthfail Tambien

 

[Mosher]

I, Grand Premier of our Glorious Subforum, Civilization 4 Stories and Tales, put into effect martial law and will hereby imprison and execute any citizen of our Glorious Democratic People's Subforum of Stories and Tales who shalt participate in the meaningless and so-called "Epic Wars."

 

[MoreEpicThanYou]

And I, Supreme Epic Dictator, put into effect martial law and will hereby execute anyone who does not participate on my side in the meaningful Epic Wars.

 

[Yoshiegg737]

THE EPIC WARS

The Epic Knights
MoreEpicThanYou

The Sithbien
Tambien

The Police
Mosher

The Bystander's
None

The Popcorn Vendor
Yoshi

 

[Red_Spy]

The Spies

None.

 

[Yoshiegg737]

icwutudidthar

 

[MoreEpicThanYou]

nom nom nom

And for those trying to make me look non-epic...

 

[Mosher]

The power lies with the People in all of their Glory; no "Epic Dictator" shall rule over the mighty hand of the people.

 

[Tambien]

I as World Dictator, hereby declare a Epic Crusade against unepicness, in other words ControversialUsername.

 

[Duke of Britain]

America was actually the only one to leave France of its own free will England somehow got kicked out in a forever embarassing loss to the French

What? when did the USA conquered France?!
England should have France green, entire Canada and anything France has green in North America as green in their stability map. there's more if i remember
...while the USA should have anything outside of USA red.

It hurts me to think that Germany has red in north Germany while the USA has yellow in such places, this makes no sense.

The power lies with the People in all of their Glory; no "Epic Dictator" shall rule over the mighty hand of the people.

says the commie?
THE WORLD MUST BE ENDING! COMMIES TALKING ABOUT THE POWER BEING IN HANDS OF THE PEOPLE!! oh wait...we heard this before a lot of times...

 

[Dhoomstriker]

What? when did the USA conquered France?!
England should have France green, entire Canada and anything France has green in North America as green in their stability map. there's more if i remember
...while the USA should have anything outside of USA red.

It hurts me to think that Germany has red in north Germany while the USA has yellow in such places, this makes no sense.

Perhaps some of these things were done to make gameplay more interesting, rather than to attempt to reflect historical situations.

TALKING ABOUT THE POWER BEING IN HANDS OF THE PEOPLE!! oh wait...we heard this before a lot of times...

Hmmm, yes, this falsehood is heard all of the time in Democratic societies.