[RFC] Rome: Eternal Empire

[Jellly]

Update pl0xers? D:

 

[JamesCaesar]

He's METY, we shall set our standars low for him.

 

[Emperor Bosco I]

Running out of time, my lord.

 

[Mouthwash]

One hour to March! (At least where I'm living)

 

[MoreEpicThanYou]

OK, I know what I'm about to say breaks one of the unwritten S&T rules, but you can expect an update this weekend or earlier.*

*There is a 50% chance that the above prediction is wrong. MoreEpicThanYou may or may not be responsible for this.

 

[MoreEpicThanYou]

I just played out the update. It's up to you to guess what percent of my cities are building Nukes.

 

[warrior459]

All of them!!!

 

[JamesCaesar]

hmm, 110%?

 

[Daedwartin]

0%?
wheres the update LETM( Less Epic than Me...)

 

[MoreEpicThanYou]

The servers crashed! I'm innocent!

Update coming soon (TM) though.

 

[Emperor Bosco I]

0%?
wheres the update LETM( Less Epic than Me...)

TREASON! But seriously, my lord...

 

[MoreEpicThanYou]

Narrator: OK, everyone, time for an update.
Citizens: An update?
Narrator: Yeah yeah, party or whatever.
Random Citizen: You heard him! LETS PARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Citizens: Hooray for the Narrator!
A few minutes later...
Citizens: Narrator! Narrator!
Premier: Hey, what's all that noise about- wait! I'm the Premier! I'm the only person who's legally allowed to have a party! NARRATOR!
Narrator: Are you sure you want to rain on my parade? Maybe you forgot what happened to the Ex-Emperor.
Ex-Emperor: Yes! You know you want to take your fiery rage out on the Narrator!
Premier: RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR...
Ex-Emperor: Keep at it! You're doing great!
Premier: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE!
Ex-Emperor: All right! Great setup for a kick, but why are you aiming a-
*Premier kicks Ex-Emperor in the groin*
Ex-Emperor: OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! *faints*
Narrator: Way to control your rage there.

Seems the Portuguese are now the Brazilian Empire. I only have 1 Infantry, and I know I'll be too lazy to bring another one, so let's see what happens.

Premier: Yes... 7... More... Turns...
Ex-Emperor: NOO! Nukes are like cheating! A real Emperor would destroy his enemies the old-fashioned way!
Premier: I'm not an Emperor, am I?
Ex-Emperor: Um....

Great, another congress. Do they not realize how easily I could take that city back?

I guess most of the other civs do.

Normally, I'd be more than glad to give away a colony in Canada The Northern Wastes, but this is one of my vassal's only cities.

Great... another request from vassals. Russia, we are NOT splitting Germany. You know we gave you absolutely no credit after the war with Germany.

Aww, they were more than willing to give away Iberian holdings...

::::::::::::::::::::::::::!

More :ies are always good! How many times have I milked that joke...

Meh, don't care.

Seeing Arabia being a :ial power is just too funny to pass up.

Premier: I can ask for the Holy Land! What were they thinking?
Ex-Emperor: Why would you want it? You're atheist!
Premier: I was planning on replacing all the churches with giant statues of me.
Ex-Emperor: Must... not... get... punished... again...
Premier: Good boy. Your training has finally begun to kick in.

Ex-Emperor: Thank you, Arabia! I may hate you guys, but at least you won't destroy all the churches.
Premier: *sigh*

100 turns left... Wow. Hard to think the game will end soon...

Well well then, Stalin. If you want to play the Cold War game with me, so be it. Just remember what happened in the last universe you tried that in...

The Apolistic Palace does nothing but reelect me these days.

That's right. Who says I can't build Wonders in :ies?

Premier: GOLD! Glorious gold! Finally, Pompeii does something good for once!
Emperor: You knew Pompeii has never been that good? Where were you before you took over?
Premier: Well, if you must know, I was-
Narrator: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! If the readers knew that, you know what would happen.
Premier: *shudder*

Here's the diplo screen. There are three major power blocs in the world. The first is the People's Republic of Rome, consisting of me, France, Germany, Babylon, and Mali. Next is the Soviet Union, with Russia and Japan, stretching across most of northern Asia. Finally, we have the British Commonwealth, with England, Arabia, India, and (by alliance only) the Netherlands. Britain seems to be at war with the Mongols and Khmer.

I lost the battle of Rio, so I just decided to make peace for everything he had (a bit of gold.)

No. I don't take offers from Cows.

Not Elvis:ROCK AND ROLL REVOLUTION TRAIN IS LIKE A HOUND DAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWG!
Premier: Nice, but the lyrics need to be changed a bit for this song do be legal.
Not Elvis: THE PREMIER IS SO EPIC AND AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWESOME!
Ex-Emperor: I only censored music that insulted me. *sigh*

Well... the Netherlands have decide to be neutral between England and Russia, and Egypt joins the Soviet sphere.

Premier: YEEEEEEEEEES! FINALLY! WOOOOOOOOOHOOOO! NOTHING CAN STOP ME NOW!
Ex-Emperor: *crys*
Premier: Don't rain on my parade! Or... I'll nuke you! YEAH! I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH! *presses red button*
Ex-Emperor: Um... what did that button do?
Premier: Oh nothing, it just activated a lot of Nuke Factories.
Ex-Emperor: Oh, ****.

What will happen next? Who will I Nuke first? How will the Premier survive the wait for his Nukes? Find out in the next episode of Rome: Eternal Empire!

As you can see, the correct answer to the number of Nukes I am building is "a lot."

 

[Alexius08]

You sent no backup units for your invasion of Brazil?

 

[MoreEpicThanYou]

I didn't even send the ship there to invade Brazil, I just sent it to see if there were any Independent cities with improvements for me to raze.

 

[thecaesar]

lol Russia is always the antagonist if you're the main European power...

 

[Emperor Bosco I]

I think it's because it always has the most room to expand in Europe itself. I don't know why, but I'm reminded of a Dutch game I played where I stretched all the way east into about the Moscow point before I started razing cities in order to not collapse. Good times, good times.

 

[MaxWar]

Great update!
And remember, in case of nuclear explosion, Duck and Cover!!
Also, wearing light colored clothes can help reflect the radiation.

Spoiler :

 

[thecaesar]

Lol the premier is the only one who has access to that, he censored it from everyone else. That's not all he censored, either...

-Russia launches nuke-

Random Citizen: Hey, whazzat? It's coming from the sky... oh! Maybe it's friendly aliens! Those exist, right?
-walks towards impact site-

 

[hoplitejoe]

This has been going for around 10 months now, no wonder you find it odd that it is finishing

 

[MoreEpicThanYou]

I was going to try to finish it before the first anniversary of me starting this, but quickly realized it was impossible.