Roll To Dodge: (Almost) Better Than Bacon

[KaiserElectric]

Update delayed, as Domination and Caesar both failed to post orders.

Shame!

 

[Sonereal]

Update delayed, as Domination and Caesar both failed to post orders.

Shame!

I thought it was one day or if everyone posted orders.

 

[GhostWriter16]

I go steal my pants back.

 

[Turquoiside]

If this game is still accepting sign-ups:

I sit down and hope something exciting will happen.

 

[Abaddon]

Eugh, DONT WAIT FOR PEOPLE! Just drive on forwards without them!

 

[KaiserElectric]

I go kill Raul Castro.

(16) You beat him to death with a cigar box. The CIA rewards you with an AWP sniper rifle, sans ammunition.

NEINNEINNEINNEINNEINNEINNEIN

I go back into your house and leave money on your counter.

(6) I'm still sore over the bacon.

ROLL TO DODGE

(10) My lightning strike burns you for 3 damage.

I get a new set of cards.

(6) You are too poor and Irish to afford it.

I give the cursed sword to Domination3000.

(3) He takes it, then returns it to you. Forcefully.

ROLL TO DODGE

(16) You dodge the blade with ease. Domination throws the sword into your hands and runs away.

ROLL TO DODGE

(18) You pull your head into your shirt like a turtle to avoid the sword's decapatation blow.

I won't protest against tailless' attempts so I guess I'll have to go get some fashionable winter coats, would come in handy anyway.

(2) You find some winter. Eek, cold cold! You are now iced, and will not get a roll above 15 when you roll until you thaw.

I tame the bull with promises of whiskey and a pack of playing cards with udders on them.

(19) The bull is pleased with your peace offering and trots off, giving you a quart of delicious milk as well. It will give you a random bonus when you use it!

I demand that the IKEA people give me ammo for the Bazooka for free!

(6) What you have here is a failure to communicate. In Swedish.

I set Earthling up as King of Sweden to placate his annoyance at my empire-building-pompousness.

(15) Earthling is now King of Sweden. Huzzah?

I go steal my pants back.

(7-1=6) Caesar is much more aware than you are, and stops you.

I play Voodoo Child with my teeth (Hendrix Style)

(9) You are out of key, and I laugh at you.

I turn to a life of crime then by finding for local mob bosses.

(1) The mob sends a big guy after you to assassinate you. Oh noes.

ROLL TO DODGE

(4) The Big Guy goes Gordon Freeman on you for 15 damage.

Oh, did I mention that the police are after you for being in contact with the mob? Have a nice day!

I sit down and hope something exciting will happen.

(14) A street punk mysteriously passes out in front of you. You snatch his switchblade and jet.

 

[Sonereal]

I go to the police and try to get out of trouble by supplying information about the local crime boss.

 

[W|M]

I enter the game and learn how to speak Swedish.

 

[NedimNapoleon]

I become paranoid (Black sabbath style)

 

[Double A]

I brofist you as a show of apologyness.

 

[Omega124]

I go incite a democratic rebellion in Cuba.

 

[Tee Kay]

I go incite a communist rebellion in the United States.

 

[civplayah]

I'm Irish? Okay, then, I dye my hair red.

 

[Darth Caesar]

I strangle Dommy with his pants.

 

[Abaddon]

The sword attacks Dommy instead of me.

 

[rhawn]

This jug of whatever came from a bull, it isn't milk. I throw it at... NeedimNapoleon.

 

[Earthling]

I commission a sauna to be built to keep warm.

 

[NinjaCow64]

I make a royal request to the king of Sweden (Earthling) for IKEA to give me my free ammos!

 

[Turquoiside]

I steal and then put on the Street Punk's otufit.

 

[GhostWriter16]

I go to the Clothes store and buy new pants.