Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

[civplayah]

I get everyone to calm down.

 

[landlubber]

I fall back and think long and hard about how to defeat this guy.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

Understand this dimension.

Knowledge is power. Power is dangerous. Danger is to be avoided.

Hmm, TheBladeRoden's been gone for about 4 months. Better just take him out. I take my Space Marines and Spartans onto the Helicopter and fly to his location.

4 (5): The total weight brings the chopper dangerously close to sea level.
ROLL TO DODGE!
18: By the Emperor, the Space Marines can use their jetpacks to significantly lower fuel consumption! You arrive over the cruise liner.

I get healed at the Hospital ASAP!!!

12 (13): You cut the line, spend another 40 minutes in reception, but regain 8 hitpoints from eating a granola bar as you pass the time.

collect up stuff.

12: You loot his corpse.

no, i get all of his (remake20) stuff

8: Someone seems to have beaten you to it.

By the divine right of the Flying spaghetti monster cult, I construct a holy moose temple.

5: Cato's disciples take offence.
ROLL TO DODGE!
12: But they can't reach you for the pasta.

I get everyone to calm down.

20:


Link to video.

Even the army takes a breather.

I fall back and think long and hard about how to defeat this guy.

11: Hmm. You're gonna need to come up with a plan.

 

[!!!!!]

the super shield again

 

[Seon]

Fine then, time to do something completely out of character.

I pet a dragon. It doesn't even have to exist, and I wouldn't even need to move my hand. Imagination is all that is needed to complete this picture. Oh, and I also kill an elephant onthe process. Such parasites will no longer be allowed to live.

Hmm....mangoes....

Once upon a time there was a bird, but it wasn't any normal bird. It had, for instance, no beaks, and instead of two legs it had four jellyfishes. It wasn't that interesting a bird, mind you, and it most likely met a slow and painless death in the form of a poisonous sting from a floating fish.

Let's kill that again just to be sure. The fish I mean. It's dead already, and in fact it has begun to stink. Stinky things are no longer tolerated to live.

 

[choxorn]

Fire Missiles at TheBladeRoden.

 

[Abaddon]

I teleport/levitate to killfires location, loot the body.

 

[Anonymoose]

I steal omnipotence from the flying spaghetti monster. You know... because I've made more pasta with one try than it ever did, even with all its noodly appendages.

 

[landlubber]

I plant a tracking device on the evil man and scurry away to think.

 

[civplayah]

Since the army's calmed down, I get them on my side.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

the super shield again

What about it?

Fine then, time to do something completely out of character. ...

Your thought patterns suggest a destabilization of character. Sudden impulses can lead to voluntary and/or accidental self-injury. Injury is to be avoided. Injury stems from action. Action stems from thought. Thought is dangerous. There shall be no more thought.

Fire Missiles at TheBladeRoden.

17 (18): You barrage the area, dealing 15 damage to him.

I teleport/levitate to killfires location, loot the body.

4 (5): You teleport above the treeline and then drop onto a branch for 9 damage.

I steal omnipotence from the flying spaghetti monster. You know... because I've made more pasta with one try than it ever did, even with all its noodly appendages.

Divine Intervention: 17
ROLL TO DODGE!
2: "HERETIC!" The pasta comes alive and constricts you for 16 damage.

I plant a tracking device on the evil man and scurry away to think.

11: You toss an infrared beacon onto his pant leg and scuttle to safety.

Since the army's calmed down, I get them on my side.

5: You are arrested for inciting revolt.

 

[!!!!!]

i take all of kill fire's stuff

 

[civplayah]

I'm arrested?

CIVGENERAL, COME AND HELP ME, PLEASE! I HELPED YOU OUT!

 

[landlubber]

I hold a meeting with my delfinos to figure out what to do next.
(Delfino=dolphin, btw )

 

[GenMarshall]

I'm arrested?

CIVGENERAL, COME AND HELP ME, PLEASE! I HELPED YOU OUT!

I bail out Civplayah. Let's go break him outa here!

 

[choxorn]

Hmm. Attack Needs more Damage. I know! I'll add Spartan Lasers! Kill TheBladeRoden.

 

[Seon]

Teleport.

 

[Abaddon]

I fashion one of my med kits into a regeneration system.

 

[civplayah]

I bail out Civplayah. Let's go break him outa here!

I help CivGeneral bail me out.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

i take all of kill fire's stuff

9: You're nowhere near him.

I hold a meeting with my delfinos to figure out what to do next.

7: They have no friggin' clue.

I bail out Civplayah. Let's go break him outa here!

2: The army opens fire full force. Errant bullets nip you for 20 damage as you scramble for cover.

Hmm. Attack Needs more Damage. I know! I'll add Spartan Lasers! Kill TheBladeRoden.

9 (10): He's run into the woods, out of sight.

Teleport.

Something's locked down your controls.

I fashion one of my med kits into a regeneration system.

2 (3): It regenerates itself by bleeding you out! -6 hitpoints for as long as it remains equipped.

I help CivGeneral bail me out.

7: You gain their full attention.
ROLL TO DODGE!
5: Even your MJ manoeuvres can't dodge -12 hitpoints' worth of bullets.

Double A, merciary and TheBladeRoden take 7 damage for inactivity.