Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

[landlubber]

That's it! I kill you, Oilherb!
Oh, and thank you, Mr. Exclamation x5.

 

[civplayah]

My apes and I retreat to the forest, where we will live in harmony with nature.

Wait, I'm probably going to get attacked by, like, a leopard. Oh, well, I can just tame it!

 

[choxorn]

I move into Action-Movie Awesomeness mode, simultaneously dodging Seon's railgun and using the UNSC ships' to fire enough missiles at him to level Croatia.

 

[Anonymoose]

I use moosey culinary skills and cook more pasta than you could possibly imagine. Grass-flavored, of course.

 

[mythmonster2]

Aid chox by messing up Seon's aura from the other side.

 

[Seon]

By the way, this is how the game is supposed to be like: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xwBK31tC5QM

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

You posted that last round, too.

Fire railgun at choxorn's ship.

3 (7): It is absorbed by greenhouse gases.

Rebecca, Bill, the Mounties, and I all deliver a final killing blow to Seon's assassin

17: She's down.

I heal landlubber

14 (17): You patch him up 60 hitpoints and stop his bleeding.

That's it! I kill you, Oilherb!

18: You stab him right above the breastbone clear through to the other side. His eyes glaze over, he gargles, falls to his knees, then keels over dead.

My apes and I retreat to the forest, where we will live in harmony with nature.

5: Some of the Royal Army's scouters spot you.
ROLL TO DODGE!
19: Your drug lord friend from early in the game takes 'em out and brings you their equipment.

I move into Action-Movie Awesomeness mode, simultaneously dodging Seon's railgun and using the UNSC ships' to fire enough missiles at him to level Croatia.

17 (18): As the light show dies down, Seon finds himself missing 50 hitpoints.

I use moosey culinary skills and cook more pasta than you could possibly imagine. Grass-flavored, of course.

15: Possibly imagine, eh? It streams out in all directions, creating acres of slippery terrain.

Aid chox by messing up Seon's aura from the other side.

14: The Curse of the Machine Spirit negates all of Seon's current bonuses.

Double A, merciary, TheBladeRoden and remake20 take 25 damage for inactivity.

 

[landlubber]

I go off with my dolphins (kept in a mobile aquarium) and try to find the person Oilherb spoke about.

 

[Seon]

Darn it mythmonster, stay dead!

Teleport into a different dimension where no harm can possibly come to me.

 

[civplayah]

That's JUST what I needed!

I introduce the natives to my apes.

 

[!!!!!]

I try making the ultimate shield again

 

[mythmonster2]

Wait, I'm a Machine Spirit now? Ah well, I'll acknowledge your wish, Seon. Being dead really changes your perspective on stuff like fighting. I ascend to Machine Heaven, where I shall learn true happiness and wait for all eternity until the Great Gear comes to finally welcome us into the Greatest Age.

 

[Seon]

Wait a minute! OBJECTION! I thought my nihilistic texts would make me immune to any sort of curses and hexes.

 

[Abaddon]

I am blind but I can see!!!

 

[choxorn]

I attempt to boost my max HP above 100.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I go off with my dolphins (kept in a mobile aquarium) and try to find the person Oilherb spoke about.

15: You head out toward the city.

Teleport into a different dimension where no harm can possibly come to me.

Wait a minute! OBJECTION! I thought my nihilistic texts would make me immune to any sort of curses and hexes.

(Think of it as his ashes clogging up your circuitry.)

4: You shift into the world of the Nanny State. No harm can come to you... but you also can't do anything, either.

I introduce the natives to my apes.

4: They start fighting each other.

I try making the ultimate shield again

14: You craft a preliminary, hand-portable solid repellent.

I ascend to Machine Heaven, where I shall learn true happiness and wait for all eternity until the Great Gear comes to finally welcome us into the Greatest Age.

18: Paradoxically, even after dying you yet win.

I am blind but I can see!!!

17: You train yourself in echolocation.

I attempt to boost my max HP above 100.

10 (11): You gain +10 total hitpoints.

 

[civplayah]

Oh, no!

The Rhino attempts to resolve the fight.

 

[choxorn]

Since my Max HP is higher, I heal up to my new max HP, and higher if possible.

 

[Seon]

I do a system diagnoses and repair.

 

[kill fire]

I ascend to heaven and claim my 72 virgins for my suicide bombing.