Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

[Thorvald of Lym]

I cross the boarder again.

5: You stumble across the border and cut yourself on the rocks for 7 damage.

I heal myself by eating fish and bread, like in RPG's.

16 (18): Your ascetic feast restores you to full health.

I continue searching.

4: You find a hyena.
ROLL TO DODGE!
18: With royal finesse, you manage to sway it to your cause.

I translocate the game winning device elsewhere.

9 (10): You have no clue where it is now.

i do tests and put my guinea pig on steroids

15 (16): It buffs up considerably.

 

[!!!!!]

i invent super timothy hay for my super guinea pig

 

[Abaddon]

I become enlightened and share this "win" with everyone else...

 

[choxorn]

I search Craiglist and Ebay for any Alpha Harmonizers for sale.

 

[landlubber]

For crying out loud...
I try to look for the device using Google Earth.

 

[civplayah]

Wait, my animals are still with me?



I let them try and find the winning place.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

i invent super timothy hay for my super guinea pig

5: You feed it marijuana by mistake and it becomes right stoned.

I become enlightened and share this "win" with everyone else...

3 (4): You become frustrated and share this lose with everyone else, to the tune of -16 hitpoints. As a result, Double A fades away.

I search Craiglist and Ebay for any Alpha Harmonizers for sale.

3 (5): Fresh out.

I try to look for the device using Google Earth.

8: It's a grainy image, but it looks like there could be some sort of facility in the mountains outside Murghab, Tajikistan.

Wait, my animals are still with me?



I let them try and find the winning place.

6: They're all back on the island.

 

[choxorn]

I put a want ad in the papers for an Alpha Harmonizer.

 

[Abaddon]

I cast Dominate (mind control) on landlubber.

 

[!!!!!]

I sail back to my clinic on my animals telling them it is an emergency and get Igor to fix my guinea pig

 

[civplayah]

I go back to the 'facility'.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I put a want ad in the papers for an Alpha Harmonizer.

8 (10): There's one in Tajikistan, but it's not something that can be delivered by mail.

I cast Dominate (mind control) on landlubber.

8 (9): He is unresponsive.

I sail back to my clinic on my animals telling them it is an emergency and get Igor to fix my guinea pig

5: You run out into the sea, but without a sea turtle.
ROLL TO DODGE!
3 (4): You're drowning! You suffer 15 damage immediately and recurring -7 hp until you're seaworthy.

I go back to the 'facility'.

20: You gain access to a secret bioweapons research lab hidden deep underground.

 

[civplayah]

I look for whatever I need to win.

 

[landlubber]

I teleport to where civplayah is.

 

[Perfection]

I pop in, punch the character who is winning in the stomach and leave.

 

[choxorn]

I go to Tajikistan and look for the Alpha Harmonizer.

 

[Abaddon]

I become the Alpha Harmonizer.

 

[!!!!!]

I figure out that the suit lets me breath under water

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I look for whatever I need to win.

2: You walk straight into a vat of toxic chemicals.
ROLL TO DODGE!
9: You suffer an immediate 24 damage and ongoing -9 hp through corrosion.

I teleport to where civplayah is.

7: And how do you teleport?

I pop in, punch the character who is winning in the stomach and leave.

18: You gut-punch choxorn for 18 damage.

I go to Tajikistan and look for the Alpha Harmonizer.

17 (19): You touch down in a fortified complex in the mountains northwest of Murghab. That conspicuous tower-like focal point must be the Alpha Harmonizer. The guards, judging you to be a man of importance given your pimped out Hind, defer to you.

I become the Alpha Harmonizer.

16 (17): You become the Alpha Harmonizer. Only problem is... you don't have the control codes.

I figure out that the suit lets me breath under water

20: AT A ONE-TO-ONE TRANSFER RATE!!

 

[choxorn]

I go to some UNSC ship's medbay to heal while we fly to the Alpha Harmonizer.