Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

[Abaddon]

I consume a pill containing nanites and gain various cool powers

 

[!!!!!]

i invent a machine to transport seon to a parallel universe where he is caption of ship

i help with the first action

 

[Darth Caesar]

I fail to reverse the modifier.

 

[Verarde]

Knowing what I know, my only cause of action is to............attack Seon with JUSTICE my SWORD!

 

[Seon]

I call out upon the powers of Yog Sothoth to teleport DrumStudent to the nanny dimension where no harm can come to him and he can do no possible harm.

 

[civplayah]

I heal Seon.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I walk to a hospital, making sure Shani is still close behind.

17 (14): You stagger into emergency and are rushed into treatment. Each turn you remain in the ward will restore 10 hitpoints.

I consume a pill containing nanites and gain various cool powers

18: You boost your reflexes, giving you a +2 bonus to attack, and will now regenerate 3 hitpoints each turn.

i invent a machine to transport seon to a parallel universe where he is caption of ship

9 (13): You construct a transdimensional portal.

I fail to reverse the modifier.

10: You fail to fail to reverse the modifier; in other words, you fail to affect a change.

Knowing what I know, my only cause of action is to............attack Seon with JUSTICE my SWORD!

18 (20): In a blaze of fury, you liberate 36 hitpoints from Seon.

I call out upon the powers of Yog Sothoth to teleport DrumStudent to the nanny dimension where no harm can come to him and he can do no possible harm.

14 (12): DrumStudent is telaportaled to a parallel dimension where he cannot be harmed.

I heal Seon.

6: You knock 9 hitpoints out of him.

CivGeneral suffers 15 damage for inactivity

 

[!!!!!]

i get abaddon to be the captain of the ship
PEOPLE I NEED MORE QUESTS
i start on the next quest someone gives me

 

[Seon]

I give !!!!! the quest to bring Cthulhu to life.

 

[Abaddon]

!!!!!!!! Why are you working against me in my quest? :/

 

[Darth Caesar]

I give !!!! the quest of helping me to eliminate my negative modifier.

 

[civplayah]

I try to heal him again.

 

[Abaddon]

I ask the crew for assistance

 

[landlubber]

I ask the doctors to relieve my concussion.

 

[Verarde]

I can't be harmed.

I attack Seon again with JUSTICE my Sword.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

i get abaddon to be the captain of the ship

i start on the next quest someone gives me

17: You manage to tweak regulatory paperwork such that Abaddon is officially placed in full command of the ship.

10: E-LA-BOR-ATE!

I try to heal him again.

1: You actually bite his left arm, dealing immediate 30 damage and ongoing -15 hitpoints from the trauma. Any action by Seon requiring both arms suffers a -3 penalty.

I ask the crew for assistance

8: "Assistance with what, sir?"

I ask the doctors to relieve my concussion.

12 (9): You slur your speech, and they simply smile consolingly.

I attack Seon again with JUSTICE my Sword.

12 (16): You leap out of the alternate dimension and deliver 20 points of righteous retribution.

 

[civplayah]

Really? Without the modifiers, I'm still rolling terribly.

Gain modifiers.

 

[landlubber]

I ask again.

 

[Seon]

ARGH! I turn into a mess of armored centipedes using Nyarlathothep's power, thereby eliminating the wound problem.

 

[Darth Caesar]

I try one more time to get rid of my modifier.