Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

[civplayah]

I negate that modifier.

 

[mythmonster2]

Uh, I most likely won't be able to play this thing for the next two weeks, so... do whatever it is you do with inactive players.

 

[GenMarshall]

I roll for happyness

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I hurt Seon really badly.

14: You deal a sharp upper-cut for 16 damage.

I find the trigger for the ship's self destruct.

16 (14): Turns out Abaddon left the computer on.

No! You must not resist! I grab landlubber's GF and teleport to Nyarlathotep's temple to sacrifice her to the dark god.

2 (2): She's pretty spry herself and beats you with your own cane for 30 damage.

I attack Seon. For shame! Stabbing an innocent person!

19 (20): Armed with JUSTICE! on your side, you dish out another 26 damage.

Find Abbadon.

4 (5): You get lost in the corridors.

I run around screaming and flapping my arms around in a mad panic

6: You bump into walls and such for 9 damage.

i do anything to help on my quest

i continue helping mythmonster2

12: You duck into the medical bay and collect a sample of landlubber's would-be gal's blood.

14: You gather some medical journals for him to study.

I negate that modifier.

4: You increase it by one point.

I roll for happyness

11: You win a deluxe copy of The Pursuit of Happyness.

T-minus 4.

 

[Darth Caesar]

I type the command "Disable Self-Destruct" into the computer.

 

[Seon]

I call out the name of Yog Sothoth backwards to stun and intimidate the buffoons trying to kill me.

 

[!!!!!]

i find landlubber's girl friend

i give the papers to mythmonster2

 

[landlubber]

I protect my love.

 

[Abaddon]

I press the medallion into the console next to the door.

 

[Verarde]

I don't like evil! I attack Seon again with JUSTICE! and my Sword of Infinity!

 

[civplayah]

I increase the modifier so greatly that it makes it impossible for me to do anything without failing.

(Here's hoping I fail!)

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I type the command "Disable Self-Destruct" into the computer.

5 "ERROR: Invalid syntax"

I call out the name of Yog Sothoth backwards to stun and intimidate the buffoons trying to kill me.

20 (20): You manage to avoid all damage this turn.

i find landlubber's girl friend

i give the papers to mythmonster2

10: She's right in front of you, yet you can't see her!

2: AAAH PAPERCUT!! mythmonster2 will suffer -9 hitpoints each turn!

I protect my love.

16: You spirit her away to safety.

I press the medallion into the console next to the door.

11: It manages to hack the terminal and decipher the password.

I don't like evil! I attack Seon again with JUSTICE! and my Sword of Infinity!

18 (10): Seon calls out the name of Yog Sothoth backwards, stunning and intimidating you.

I increase the modifier so greatly that it makes it impossible for me to do anything without failing.

4: You reduce the effect by 3 points.

T-minus 3.

 

[!!!!!]

i finsh landlubber's quest mission

i heal him and then give back the papers

 

[Seon]

I disarm drumstudent in order to use the swords' power to force the ship and all it's inhabitants into servitude under Nyarlathothep.

 

[civplayah]

I reduce it some more.

 

[Verarde]

I use my sword's infinite powers to freeze everything in time, except me.

 

[Abaddon]

Go into the Bridge and order my subordinates to stop the self destruct.

 

[Darth Caesar]

I try and type it again with valid syntax.

 

[landlubber]

I bring my love home.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

i finsh landlubber's quest mission

i heal him and then give back the papers

13 (15): Free from distractions, you concoct a complicated mix of drugs that forcibly re-wires her brain. IT'S NOT COERCION IF SHE WANTS TO, RIGHT??

5 (8): It's a pretty deep cut.

I disarm drumstudent in order to use the swords' power to force the ship and all it's inhabitants into servitude under Nyarlathothep.

19 (17): HoohooHAHAHAhaha!! You steal the Infinity Sword!

I reduce it some more.

16: What awkwardness?

I use my sword's infinite powers to freeze everything in time, except me.

7: OH NO HE STOLED IT!

Go into the Bridge and order my subordinates to stop the self destruct.

12: You run in screaming "OH MY GOD OH MY GOD WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!" The security personnel abandon the cells and hurry to override the self-destruct.

I try and type it again with valid syntax.

10: It's already disabled.

I bring my love home.

2 (3): You smash your head against a bulkhead, suffering 19 damage and a major concussion that impacts all rolls by -3.