Roll to Dodge: Ludicrous Edition

[Boundless]

I use the photos to terrify the neighbourhood.

 

[EnglishCrusader]

I start to cry so the guards feel sympathy towards me and let me go.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I shoot 5 rounds (to kill) at each lion that is devouring the zebra, taking care not to hit the zebra.

13: You manage to incapacitate the lions such that they can't attack you.

OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE!
I make a speedy escape.

3 (4): You bail, only to get trampled yourself for 15 damage.

I work up the nerve to ask the rhino on a date.

20 (20): She ditches hoplitejoe for you. And look, she already trampled him for you!

I ask what the leader what mission me and Sam need to complete now.

17: Your choice: recruit more soldiers, gather more arms, secure transport incognito, or (most ambitiously) establish a party sympathetic to the cause to fill the inevitable power vacuum.

I fix the plate.

4: AUGH IT'S WORSE NOW!!

Dhoomstriker answers the phone, and generously agrees to pay my bail, via a direct debit to the police, an action truly worth of his insanity since he's being dragged around by a lion at the time.

4: If only he could fit that phone through the lion's teeth.

With complete disregard for my safety, I allow Attlee to drag me around the savanna as part of a circus show, collecting sufficient funds to cover the cost of hendo's bail.

4: Darn, no audience. Plus, all that dragging about puts an enormous strain on your neck; 14 damage's worth.

I find an armory.

2: That you do. And the guards are none too happy you lack I.D.
ROLL TO DODGE!
15: You make excuses and they let you off without injury.

I use the photos to terrify the neighbourhood.

11: The party to the safari begins to suspect their gifts may not have gone to the best person...

I ask a small bird to gather the other animals for my next safari tour

11: Talk about a messenger pigeon.

I start to cry so the guards feel sympathy towards me and let me go.

3: And then you realize, they all left to look for you, and your self-despair becomes genuine. -1 to all rolls.

 

[hoplitejoe]

I impress my rhino girlfriend be doing a sexy dance

 

[Red_Spy]

I repair the plate more.

 

[hendo]

I leave him a voicemail detailing my plight and my request, and hope he is able to get my message after solving his current problem.

 

[Dhoomstriker]

I manage to twist my body around and kiss Attlee squarely on the lips.

 

[landlubber]

I take the rhino to dinner.

 

[Skwink]

I establish the Cascadian Party.

 

[EnglishCrusader]

I start to cry because I keep getting bad rolls

 

[Darth Caesar]

I find a Gun Store

 

[Verarde]

I examine the zebra for injuries.

 

[Thorvald of Lym]

I impress my rhino girlfriend be doing a sexy dance

15: She's looking your way again...

I repair the plate more.

1: AAAAUUUGH YOU CUT YOURSELF ON THE SHARDS!! You take 16 damage, and ongoing 8 damage from numerous cuts.

I leave him a voicemail detailing my plight and my request, and hope he is able to get my message after solving his current problem.

5: You maxed your minutes?!

I manage to twist my body around and kiss Attlee squarely on the lips.

8: Can't quite get your head out...

I take the rhino to dinner.

2 (4): Eugh, dead zebra?! She ditches you for hoplitejoe.

I establish the Cascadian Party.

13: Vote Tree.

I start to cry because I keep getting bad rolls

14 (13): The D1C3 G0D takes pity on you, and removes that modifier.

I find a Gun Store

9: Huh. Looks like this is a peaceful country.

I lead another Safari, talking to the animals as I do - reassuring them that all is safe and they should just relax for the tourists.

8: But first, you'll need to assemble a new group.

I examine the zebra for injuries.

9: Broken neck, lacerations across its flanks, a huge open wound across the belly... It's dead, Jim.

 

[Skwink]

The Cascadian Party gets voted into office.

 

[Red_Spy]

I heal myself.

 

[Dhoomstriker]

I talk dirty to Attlee and convince him to come out of the closet.

 

[GenMarshall]

I heal myself

 

[hendo]

I threaten the officers that have locked me up with legal action, as I am guilty of no crime whatsoever. Also, my lawyer is Phoenix Wright.

 

[hoplitejoe]

I make baby rhinos :3

 

[Darth Caesar]

I go into politics